How our Mindset and Nervous System Impact Perception

I was reading an article this morning about how the nervous system works, and it brought to mind some additional perspectives on why I always encourage my boys, my team, and our community to practice patience and understanding with those around them.

Often, we're unaware of the challenges others face and how those challenges shape their attitudes and perceptions. This reality is evident in our coaching work at Credilife. We dedicate ourselves to assisting individuals in understanding their credit and financial situations, which often intertwine with other personal struggles. With clients from diverse backgrounds, we encounter a spectrum of personalities and attitudes. Some may feel entitled, while others experience depression. There are also those who perceive the world as against them. Addressing these challenges alongside our efforts to support them isn't easy, as negativity can be pervasive

Our program focuses on addressing credit issues, building credit, and managing accounts to enhance credit scores. However, gaining the trust and respect of our clients can often be challenging. For example, imagine someone who is eager to improve their credit but fails to recognize or appreciate the significance of the advice we offer. Many individuals mistakenly believe that credit repair alone will resolve all their financial challenges, when in reality, it's just one aspect of a larger issue.

They might become discouraged when they don't see the progress they expected and fail to recognize their role in achieving positive results. While our influence is limited, one thing entirely within our control is how we respond to such clients. It's important to remember that we only know what individuals are willing to share. From my experience, the most challenging clients are often dealing with significant personal issues or struggling to address their challenges proactively. Unfortunately, many of these personal challenges, particularly those related to money, stem from the decisions they've made, and these are precisely the issues we aim to assist them in overcoming

But I digress... It’s easy to explain to my kids that some of their 'friends' in school lash out because they are having a 'bad day.' Maybe they got very little sleep because their parents were fighting, or perhaps they simply stayed up too late, or maybe they wet their bed like I did growing up. There are numerous factors that can affect children and adults, influencing our attitudes, how we treat others, and how we perceive others' behavior.

All of this boils down to one thing: our attitude. Our attitude can be influenced by the expectations we set for the day when we wake up. For instance, my youngest woke up today and said, 'it’s not going to be a good day', to which I responded, 'well, if you say so, it probably won’t be'. Instead, I choose to wake up and say, 'it’s going to be a great day!' While he may have been seeking a bit of fatherly advice on maintaining a positive mindset, I've encountered many people who start their day in a similar manner. Perhaps you've heard the expression 'waking up on the wrong side of the bed'?

Our attitude also defines how we view the challenges we face, but the article I read reminded me of some of the science behind our perception as it relates to the state of our nervous system, something I’d completely forgotten about through all my reading as an adult in the importantance of our mindset in how we perceive the world.

You see, the article explained that the primary job of our nervous system is to keep us safe and how different states of our nervous system impact our experiences. As I read, my mind drifted, bringing attention to the fact that the relationship between our nervous system and our thoughtsmust then be quite a dynamic one. In other words, the relationship between our thoughts and our physiology must work together to direct our outcomes.

It’s hard to be mad if you smile, just like it's hard to be happy with a scowl. Just as our thoughts and emotions can influence the state of our nervous system, affecting things like our heart rate, breathing, and stress levels; the state of our nervous system can be influenced by factors like stress, trauma, or relaxation techniques, which contribute to our thoughts and our emotions. It's a continuous cycle where each aspect interacts and influences the other.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that while there is science that explains why we might feel a certain way based on what we are going through, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the way we feel is ever truly outside of our control.

Think of the phrase "Mind over Matter" - it’s a phrase that suggests the power of the mind or our mental state to control or influence physical circumstances, obstacles, or outcomes. It implies that our thoughts, beliefs, and determination can have a significant impact on our ability to overcome challenges, achieve goals, or even alter physical realities. Essentially, it highlights the idea that the strength of our mind and our thoughts can triumph over external factors or limitations. And what that means to me is that our attitude can contribute to the state of our nervous system just as much, if not more than our nervous system can contribute to our attitude.

The article went on to explain that the nervous system functions as a vast communication network, facilitating constant connection among our body's various parts. Each part sharing perceived sensations and threats designed to move us to action, or innaction, in an effort to ensure our safety.

When our nervous system feels confident about our safety, our body maintains internal balance, known as homeostasis. This state allows us to be present and mindfully engaged. So at times when our daily tasks and responsibilities push us beyond our comfort level, we may push ourselves beyond what is referred to as homeostasis, the body's natural ability to maintain stability and balance in its internal environment. And once we are pushed beyond homeostasis, we drain our energy and increase the likelihood of making mistakes. This is one of the reasons we always hear about how important it is to take breaks, or why our Apple Watch reminds us to stop and take a few minutes to perform a breathing exercise. In these moments, we help to encourage balance, and through balance, we are more likely to maintain homeostasis.

Our optimal performance occurs when our internal system feels secure.

But we don’t always feel secure.

And since our nervous system can influence how we perceive and feel about the world, if we don’t pay attention, this will also operate as a self-fulfilling prophecy where the way we feel also impacts the state of our nervous system.

Yeah, I know it can be confusing, but the point is that while the states of our nervous system can impact our behaviors in ways designed to protect us, we have evolved in a way that has helped us to recognize that we can manage these states through our attitude.

The science refers to 3 stages:

Green State (Safety): This state aligns with the body's parasympathetic nervous system dominance, characterized by a relaxed and calm physiological state conducive to rest, digestion, and recovery. It is often associated with homeostasis or a state of equilibrium.

Yellow State (Danger/Fight or Flight): This state corresponds to the activation of the sympathetic nervous system, triggering the body's fight or flight response. Physiological changes include increased heart rate, heightened alertness, and the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to prepare the body for action in response to perceived threats.

Red State (Freeze/Shut Down): This state may involve a combination of sympathetic nervous system activation and parasympathetic nervous system inhibition, resulting in a freeze, shut-down, or immobility response. It can occur when individuals feel overwhelmed or helpless in the face of stressors, leading to emotional shutdown, dissociation, or feelings of hopelessness.

Identifying our state is as simple as noticing where we feel tension.

An important part of remaining present, in control, happy, and healthy, lies in recognizing how we feel, and this chart illustrates why it's challenging to think and communicate effectively if we allow ourselves to enter the "Red" state, and especially if we don’t realize we are there.

The way we see a problem affects how we try to solve it and what results we get. Sometimes, we view stress and anxiety as things we need to get rid of, rather than as normal feelings everyone experiences. This thinking leads us to try fixing problems in ways that don't work well, making the situation worse. It keeps us feeling anxious most of the time, like being stuck in a yellow caution zone. If we stay anxious for a long time, it can make us feel really down and hopeless, almost like being in a red danger zone but not as intense or temporary.

And if our thoughts can help us to manage our state, and maintaining a healthy state of homeostasis helps us to be present, happy, and in control, then we have to learn to avoid the thoughts that take us into less productive states. Thoughts such as concerns about the past or future that are outside of our control, and recognizing when we are pushing ourselves too hard, or simply remembering to take a break by going for a walk, or even closing our eyes and focusing on our breathing for a few minutes in an effort to recenter ourselves.

Imagine your mind as a loop, like a hamster wheel, where intrusive thoughts, uncomfortable feelings, and safety behaviors keep spinning around and around. Many people believe the solution is to stop these thoughts and feelings, but that only makes the wheel spin faster. Real healing happens when we face our fears head-on, without relying on our usual safety nets... like learning to ride a bike without training wheels – scary at first, but eventually, you gain confidence and balance. By confronting our anxieties, we show our brain and body that they're not as scary as they seem, leading to less discomfort over time. Sure, it's tough to let go of those safety behaviors, like avoiding certain situations or seeking reassurance, but they only keep us stuck in the loop. Instead, by stepping out of our comfort zones, we can rewire our brains to handle stress in healthier ways.

So, it's crucial to understand how our minds and bodies work together in this process and through that understanding, we need to practice patience, especially when it comes to coaching and teaching others. We can’t take things personally, and overreact to others. Some people become frustrated when someone budges in at the exit on a highway, or races up to a red light to get in front, but they could be experiencing an emergency, and what good does it do you or me to get frustrated without the context necessary to impose judgement.

We never truly know what someone else is going through or how they're coping with their own inner battles. That's why patience and empathy are key – they create a supportive environment where healing and growth can thrive, for both ourselves and those around us.

I encourage you to be mindful, and to practice patience and kindness, be in the moment, and smile. You’ll be surprised how much of a difference this will make in your life and the lives of others.