How our minds prolong our exposure to painful feelings
Angela Legh
Producer Children's Lives Matter at Thriving Women Network, Inc. Author, Bella Santini Chronicles
In my children’s books, the Bella Santini Chronicles, I teach an easy exercise for facing any feeling, whether we consider it painful or pleasant. I teach this because I understand that we are freed from prolonged pain when we allow our feelings to flow without engaging our minds in the story of what happened.
The Venn diagram at the top of this post reveals the overlap between the story we hold about our circumstances and the feelings we experience. Our thoughts are electrical; our feelings are magnetic. When we focus on the story of our events, we layer our story over our feelings, creating an electromagnetic charge that prolongs our exposure to the feelings. When our minds are involved, thinking thoughts like “I don’t want to feel this way,” or “It isn’t fair,” we are engaged in the story, and our feelings are prolonged.
Thoughts and feelings are energetic processes in our bodies. The biochemistry of a feeling has been timed for anywhere from 90 to 120 seconds. Yet we experience some of our most painful feelings for longer than that because our thoughts are focused on our circumstances. When we experience our feelings as a neutral witness, the energy flow is unhindered, and the feeling dissipates.
To experience your feelings without the story, notice the feeling in your space – how does it feel? Sharp? Dull? Aching? Heavy? Just notice it and do not judge it. Next, acknowledge your feelings. You can say, “I am feeling (name the feeling). Last, allow yourself to feel the feeling. This is about permitting yourself to feel the way you do. Notice that the feeling flows and soon dissipates.
Be aware that this is a journey, not a destination. You may find yourself caught up in the story, but you can do this exercise to allow the feeling once you notice.
The story that we apply to our feelings is a matter of our perceptions and filters through which we view life. We inherited some of these perceptions and filters from our parents, teachers, religious leaders, friends, co-workers, and bosses. The pain we associate with our emotions results from the story we attach to them based on our perceptions. Our tendency to either resist or become entangled in our feelings because of the story we attach is the source of much pain in this world.
You may notice that your feelings arise every time you think of the story of your circumstances. For now, you have this exercise to allow your feelings. My next post will speak about the story; our emotional triggers based on perceptions handed to us by others; and how we can deactivate them.
For today, when faced with a painful feeling, feel, acknowledge and allow your feelings.
#emotionalresilience #emotionaltoolbox #emotionalfreedom
| Transformational Mind Coach | Corporate Trainer | Mentor for Entrepreneurs, Executives, Innovators | Trainer of NLP/ Hypnosis/Time Line Therapy?| #1 Best Selling Author/ International Mastermind-Retreat Leader
2 年Angela! What a perfectly wonderful way to express what is going on electromagnetically within and without us! Love the Venn Diagram too. It portrays the connection between our story & consequent feelings beautifully! As you know I just finished training another stellar group of students in the art & science of NLP Time Line Therapy??& Hypnosis! These tools also are like magic helping to neutralize and powerfully SHIFT the Story & consequent emotions at deep neurological levels so they are GONE! Love our respective Tools of Transformation that we each are using to make a vast difference on this Gorgeous Planet..especially during these challenging times!! ????
Empowering action oriented individuals who want more out of life! A seasoned entrepreneur and passionate advocate for personal development for over a decade. Unlock your full potential and achieve financial freedom.
2 年This is powerful and a great exercise! I just tried it and felt some of the heaviness dissipate! Thank you Angela Legh!
From Fearful to Fearless: Unlocking Potential in SMB's | TEDx Speaker | Vistage Speaker | Homeward Bound Leadership Coach | Transformation Guaranteed Day One
2 年There is no question Angela Legh that the stories we tell ourselves dictates our reactions and identifying those feelings without judgment or a need to fix it is critical to a healthy mind and body. A great reminder to pay attention.
Founder and Creator of the Heart Energy Techniques? (HET) and the Awesome Life Success System? | Transforming Health, Wealth & Relationships Coach | Awesome life Podcast Host| International Speaker | EFT | Energy Work
2 年Angela Legh This is so powerful my friend, and so needed...if we can help our kids understand how emotions work, and address them with love, the next generation will have so much more to enjoy in life!
Would you like to take control of your health and mitigate the risk of "dis-ease"? ?? Choose to feel amazing energy, enjoy clear thinking, no aches/pains, no bloating! ?? Let me guide you to a long life of well-being??
2 年Angela Legh, I 100% agree with all that you have shared here. Between my NLP training and reading Dr Joan Rosenberg's "90 Seconds To A Better Life", I have learned to do just this and simply allow my feelings to flow without judgement and breathe through them when needed, so the story isn't magnified on top of it. Thank you for the reminder, as it is always a "practice".