How to Operate in a World of Resistance & Obstacles

One thing I have learnt over the 24 great years of my life on this earth, so far, is that we will never be without obstacles and resistance. These can appear to us in many ways, ranging from internal obstacles, which are usually self created, or external obstacles, which are usually from others or situations.

I have learnt that internal obstacles are usually a reflection of the pressure we put on ourselves as a result of the external resistance we face. It is, without a doubt, a cyclical process which continuously spirals out of control, unless you can understand the process, the people and the problems and work towards a solution.

The realisation that most of these obstacles are immeasurable, usually results in confusion and misunderstanding. However, it is imperative to learn that confusion and misunderstanding are the first step to problem solving and finding a solution.

The importance of this is to first understand how you respond to obstacles and resistance, and the second by understanding how you engage with obstacles and resistance. The third is critical as it involves developing a system which puts you in complete control of one and two.

The only difficulty with this, is the time it takes for a person to adjust to the solution they have to their problems. "According to research, it takes 21 days to fully form a new habit, as 21 days is the time required for new neural pathways to be fully formed in your brain." Given the fact that we are all different and respond differently to obstacles and resistance, 21 days may vary for everyone.

For me, it has taken me years and years to continuously understand elements of obstacles and resistance and the correlation to myself, problems and potential solutions. It has also required a fascination of the process in order to find clarity. This varies between event or person and whether I hold it close to me or not. Being faced with obstacles regularly, I needed to find a way to not only understand it all, but to control my responses to the resistance. This allowed me to explore different perspectives of the problems I was facing and allowed me to develop a deeply rooted foundation, which has since helped me face obstacles and resistance like a champion.

For someone who has always been a "yes" man, I learnt that saying "no" was the most self fulfilling beginning to a very powerful journey. It all began when I chose to start saying "no" in conjunction with deconstructing obstacles and resistance in order to create my own perception of the problem, followed by construction of a well thought-out solution.

The journey starts when you choose to take control of your life.

This means, stop saying "yes" to people you do not value, stop saying "yes" to things you do not enjoy doing and learn to say "no" and start doing what you want to do. The amount of time I freed up by saying "no" allowed me to begin working on other tasks and projects that I always seemed to put off but had a deep desire to pursue. It was the strangest oxymoron.

The freedom of taking control of my time was the beginning of self-awareness and self discipline. I started becoming very careful about who and what I spent my time one, which allowed me to start spending time in better company and in a better choice of activities. The moment I took control of my life was the moment I started to understand myself and how to better overcome resistance and obstacles.

I think the biggest lesson I have learnt is not merely the power of no, but rather, the knowledge obtained from the experiences within the "no's." I realised that it required internal behavioural change in order to adjust my mindset and response to situations. It took years of trial and error, internal chaos and a willingness to never give up.

Perseverance separated my success from my failures, but without failing I would not be successful and would not continually strive for betterment of myself and mankind.

Life, through my eyes, is an internal battle above anything else. Everything you experience externally is first experienced and felt internally. Choosing what you digest or let into your life will directly affect your experiences and challenges, good or bad. This follows suit with a story about "The Fight of Two Wolves Within You" which goes as follows:

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:

"A fight is going on inside me," he said to the boy.

“It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil–he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.”

He continued, “The other is good – he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you–and inside every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

This story resonates with me, but also speaks for the article. In order to navigate resistance and obstacles, you need to firstly identify with how you respond to these obstacles. By shifting your focus on having positive responses to challenges in your life, you will begin to shift the perception on obstacles. This is important as rather than seeing the turmoil in challenges, you simply admire the beauty of the silver lining the obstacle is presenting. Usually, in the moment, we never see it. But, what I have learnt is that everything has a silver lining and a lesson and we will only see it when we learn to accept it.

The next step is to understand how to respond and what your response achieves in the situation, whether affecting yourself or others. This is important because this will determine how people perceive you. Why is this important? Because external perception matters when a poorly lit light is shining on you and can effect career trajectory, friends and professional networks.

Improving your response to situations allows you to engage deeply with the obstacle and with others who are either giving you the obstacle or experiencing it with you. It also unlocks the ability to see the obstacle from a unique perspective, opening up the route to unique solutions. By being aware and integrated in each obstacle you face, you learn to be the driver of solution, rather than taking a back-seat and only relying on hope.

Hope + Awareness = Faith that everything will play out as it needs to.

When you learn to love the obstacles you face, you learn to love finding the solutions they present. This involves an intricate depth of resilience, perseverance and confidence. Not letting anything stop you or knock you down is how you will never let any obstacle or resistance define you. Trusting that everything has natural progression will allow you to accept that the problems you face are completely subjective, and are only a test of your nature, no one else.

How you choose to digest and respond to the obstacles and resistance is key. Nobody likes a "why me" (problem focused person), but everyone loves a "I have a solution to this problem" (solution driven person). As Ralph Marston once said "being positive in a negative situation is not naive. Its leadership."

If you have found this article interesting thus far, you may also like to read a few other articles of mine:

How I Created a Test to Further Enhance My Mind and Focus (pt.1)

Owning our Shadow Self: Unlocking Innovation, Creativity & Intuition

Cognitive Biases that are Warping Our Perception of Reality

Emotional Intelligence, The 4th Industrial Revolution (4IR) & Technical Assimilation

How To Be Fearless in Your Pursuit to Find Your Hustle

Mind Shift

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