Compliments are a way to happiness. They are the positive admiration of one’s qualities, behaviors, achievements, or actions. Compliments generally are a way to create social relationships. They are a source through which people build trust and connection among each other.
The exchange of compliments is widespread in general life, these are the tiny bits of motivation that give a person a sense of acknowledgment and position. Compliments are stress busters, encouraging a person to be more enthusiastic about something they receive compliments from.
Appreciation or compliments are spontaneous as well as planned. The daily compliments on outfits or receiving gold medals for academics are different forms of appreciation. They can occur in regular conversations, workplaces, academics, from loved ones, as a medium to show affection, etc with similar impacts on the person.
The Effects of Appreciation:
As every coin has two sides, receiving appreciation since childhood too has positive and negative impacts on our lives:
- Boosting self-esteem- A child who gets appreciated for every small act gets motivated to try out new things which eventually boosts self-confidence. Regular appreciation can motivate individuals to take on new challenges and enhance self-confidence.
- Personal well-being: Appreciation helps a person feel good about themselves. It reduces their insecurities and lets them come out of their fear. It provides them with mental and physical acceptance of their self
- Continuous growth- Compliments help a person to be motivated in every aspect continuously and have a sense of support from others.?
- Inter-personal relationships: Compliments are the best way to build a strong relationship with partners, friends, family, and even in workplaces. This lets the person feel acknowledged and important to others
- Overcoming Failures: Appreciation leads a person to recollect the strength back and keep on trying even after multiple failures.
Why do people fear the compliments?
Compliments are the way people appreciate each other, it gives a person a sense of pride but some people avoid such kinds of attention from others. They feel weird when someone says nice compliments or puts effort into making them feel special. There are various social and psychological reasons behind it:
- Social Anxiety: Socially anxious people try to avoid the limelight or attention in groups. Having a compliment in such a situation triggers their anxiety and they feel socially exposed. Compliments in such situations act like a mirror showcasing their insecurities and self-doubts.
- Low Self-Worth: The understanding of self-fulfilling capabilities is known as self-worth. People who are insecure about themselves in any aspect often feel unworthy of the appreciation they receive. They often claim that good deeds as a response to divine power and not their efforts. For instance, if a person with low self-esteem receives positive feedback on their work, they may dismiss it by thinking, "They are just being polite," or, "They don’t mean it." these situations create tension and make it difficult to accept compliments sincerely.
- Societal conditions: It is evident that humility is widely acceptable across various societies and cultures. People do not welcome the unmodest appreciation and often perceive them as arrogant. For example, in many societies, women are portrayed to be modest while receiving compliments from other women and so rejecting compliments becomes a way of maintaining these societal norms.
- Fear of vulnerability: some people psychologically have a fear of feeling vulnerable about themselves. Their mindset doesn’t allow them to accept compliments from others as this lets their guard down. Along with it the feeling of unease also arises and further, the person reacts by rejecting the compliment.
- Past experiences: Past experiences play an important role in avoiding appreciation. People who grow up in toxic home or school environments or are exposed to constant shame and guilt often develop an acceptance of their insecurities which is then triggered when anyone appreciates. Unresolved feelings of resentment or distrust can cause individuals to reject praise, especially if they have a negative history with the person offering it.
How to open up for appreciation:
- Compliments should be taken as an overview of the final task performed. Instead of getting uncomfortable or feeling vulnerable, one should divert the mind in thinking about how others experience you or your work. Accept praise as an opportunity for personal growth, not as a weakness.
- The compliments given are the giver’s perspective and have nothing to do with the receiver. Even when it is not appropriate or worthy, it should still be counted as their opinion.
- Escaping from appreciation may stem from subconsciously learned behavior or past experiences since childhood. Trying to find out the root cause and breaking the cycle while accepting compliments more naturally is the solution.
- Generally, compliments induce a set of negative responses in mind. Answering those negative questions like vulnerability will help in countering back such thoughts.
- Understanding the value of compliments is crucial to making a way to receive opportunities. Being hesitant in taking appreciation would create an underconfident image in the workforce which is not acceptable in the modern working environment
- Appreciation is a way a person builds relations with others. Neglecting past experiences and grudges while accepting gratitude would embrace positivity.
- Learning to accept compliments is necessary. It can be done by expressing gratitude to others. By regularly acknowledging one's strengths and positive qualities it will become a habit to accept the same for oneself. Having a gratitude journal would be a helpful tool, where personal achievements and positive moments are noted. This practice not only enhances self-awareness but also cultivates an openness to accepting praise.
- Another important aspect is avoiding self-deprecation. Responding to a compliment by putting oneself down not only undermines the compliment but can also come across as seeking further reassurance. Owning the praise without self-criticism demonstrates confidence and gratitude. If feelings of discomfort arise, taking a moment to pause and reflect can help in offering a more thoughtful response.
Conclusion:?
Welcoming appreciation wholeheartedly not only satisfies one’s inner self but also lets others have a respectful bond together. Appreciations provide inner happiness and the urge to constantly get better and result in all-rounding well-being. Like every other skill, practice and constant guidance can provide strength to accept and acknowledge appreciation from others.
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