How To Be an Online Troll

When you read an article that challenges your beliefs, resist the irrational impulse to reflect on the ideas or thoughtfully disagree with them.

Instead, launch a personal attack on the author by following these steps:

1. Call the author names.  Hurtful names, like Total Crab.  And Smelly Cat.
2. Make fun of the author’s physical appearance.  Don’t forget to mention the size of her nose or the awkwardness of his smile.
3. Tweet that the author doesn’t know what she’s talking about.  Ignore the fact that she’s a world expert on the topic.
4. Attempt to correct the author’s already correct grammar.
5. Accuse the author of nefarious motives, such as attention-seeking, book-selling, and courage.
6. Claim any studies cited are biased—especially when they’re comprehensive meta-analyses of every rigorous study ever done, designed to correct for bias.
7. Wax poetic about how your idiosyncratic experience is more relevant than evidence from thousands of people’s experiences. “I obey the laws of gravity, therefore I am a physicist.”
8. For good measure, insult the author’s mother at least twice.
9. Quote liberally from The Sandlot: “You bob for apples in the toilet… and you LIKE IT!”
10. Under no circumstances should you consider the possibility that your discomfort stems from the fact that the author is making a valid point.

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Adam is a Wharton professor and the New York Times bestselling author of Give and Take. Sign up for his free newsletter on work and psychology at www.giveandtake.com.