Middle School Bullying is Rampant: Here's How One School Tackled It Head On

Middle school bullying is a chronic problem — schools endlessly try out new systems and programs to lessen its prevalence and severity. In the end however, nothing is more important than the relationships that teachers and leaders build with their students. When students trust the adults in their building — and trust that the adults believe in them to do the right thing — it provides a critical foundation that schools can build on to create a safe culture for all students. The principal of SA Bronx 1 Middle School reached out to me recently with a moving story of how her school addressed bullying, exemplifying this principle. I invited her to share her story.

By Britney Weinberg-Lynn

Michael is an eighth-grade student at my school, SA Bronx 1 Middle School. He is bright and excels at math, but he has also had social anxiety since he started school in 5th grade — he experienced domestic abuse in his home when he was young and suffers from PTSD. Last year, when he was in seventh grade, Michael became conspicuously more withdrawn. When I noticed he was sitting by himself at lunch every day and not interacting much with his peers, the school psychologist and I met with him to find out what was going on. With some prodding, Michael admitted that people were bullying and making fun of him. He said he didn’t fit in.

I was relieved that Michael felt he trusted us enough to tell us the truth, but also concerned. I immediately called a meeting with his 7th grade teachers, the psychologist, and the sports coach, Gerald Carter, who the students looked up to as the epitome of cool. Together, we came up with a plan for the next day.

We asked Michael to tutor scholars in a lower grade, and while he was out of the classroom, we gathered his classmates together to get to the bottom of the situation. We started off with a general conversation about bullying, reading an article together about a boy who committed suicide after being bullied at his school. Gerald then recounted his own experience: much to the seventh graders’ surprise, he had been bullied when he was young. Following this story, I asked the students, “Do you think there is anyone in seventh grade who is being bullied or treated unfairly?” The most popular boy in the grade answered immediately: “Michael.” Thanks to his leadership, the rest of the students quickly joined in, and together they came clean about what they had done.

After a discussion, we turned to leave them to work out a plan for how to address the situation, saying: “We’re going to leave you to talk about the legacy of the school, and what you want to leave behind.” I popped in 15 minutes later — but the seventh graders shooed me out, saying they needed more time to work out their plan! When Michael finally returned to the classroom, a respected seventh grader stepped forward to apologize for his past actions — and his classmates gathered round to do the same.

Since then, it has been amazing to see the change that has taken place. The boys asked Michael to be the scorekeeper for the basketball team, engaging him in an activity that absorbs many of them. Each of them has a different relationship with Michael, but they check in on him regularly and rally behind him. He has almost become a kind of “mascot” for the grade, with every student rooting for him.

The reality is that kids want to do the right thing — sometimes they just need to be squarely confronted with the opportunity. Before the pivotal meeting that changed things for Michael, I had spoken to him, warning him that it might feel that we were all talking about him behind his back. “But it’s not about that,” I explained. “We are really talking about how we can all be better people, and I have faith in your classmates.” It turned out that my faith was not misplaced. We showed our students that we believed they were capable of high moral standards, and they stepped up to the plate.

Michael is in eighth grade this year, and he is a different person — at ease with his classmates and quick with a smile. The depth of his change became clear in January, when he brought all his considerable math skills to bear and finished first in a network-wide math competition. His classmates were genuinely thrilled for him: Michael carried the trophy around the school and he was showered with high-fives. That day, Michael surprised all of us. The eighth graders had been writing poetry in their writing class and Michael, who had struggled with shyness for so many years, volunteered to read his poem in front of the entire class. The poem chronicled his experience winning the competition, but it was his final stanzas that brought down the house. I will share them with you here...

But if you add all the numbers together it makes 45

The number of students who had my back

And believed in me throughout the eight school years

I will remember these memories 100% of the time

So that's why even though ∞

Is not a number

It is the most important

Because that’s how many years

These memories and thoughts will never

Disappear.