How Old Are You?

Rabbi Cantor Risa Askin’s Spiritual Message, Parashat, Vayigash. Pharaoh asked a simple question: how old are you? Instead of just answering, Jacob gives a commentary on his life. Do you want to know why I look so old? Because my life has been hard, I have had challenges and misery. Pharaoh then gives Jacob a blessing and that is the end of the conversation. Don’t these two great men have more to talk about, a deeper more profound dialogue to share?

There is a midrash that tells us that when Jacob said, my years have been few and miserable, Gd said to him, “I saved you from Esau and Laban, I returned Dinah to you and now after 22 years reunited you with Yosef, and all you can think to say is that your life has been miserable?

As a result of Jacob’s negativity in reflecting on his life, his lifespan was shortened. Jacob told Pharaoh that he had not yet reached his father’s age. Indeed, he never would. This short conversation between Jacob and Pharaoh consists of 33 words. As a result of that conversation, 33 years were deducted from Ya’akov’s life. Instead of reaching his father’s age of 180, he lived only until 147.

Rav Chaim Shmulevitz says if you take a closer look and count up the words you will notice that you only arrive at 33 if you include Pharaoh asking Jacob is he responsible for the question Pharaoh asked.

Explains Rav Chaim Shmulevitz, why did Pharaoh ask that question? Who meets someone for the first time, someone extraordinary of deep substance and profound wisdom, and thinks to ask, how old are you? Would you happen to know why Pharaoh asked? Because Jacob wore his troubles, his misery, and his stress on his face. As soon as he walked into the room, Pharaoh felt negative energy and wanted to understand where it came from. It should not come as a surprise that when Jacob says my life has been difficult, let me tell you about my troubles, Pharaoh ends the conversation rather quickly. People don’t like to be around negative energy.

Rav Yisroel Salanter famously would say, that a person’s face is a “reshus ha’rabim,” it is part of the public. If you have a sour and negative disposition, people around you feel it.

Dr. Nicholas Christakis, a physician at Harvard Medical School, authored a study that concludes that happiness is contagious. In the same way, when one person yawns, it affects others, when one person smiles or is happy, it leads to others’ happiness and smiling as well.

I think it is important for us to try not to be constantly negative. Sure, we have those moments, we have those days, but we cannot always live in a state of negativity. ?Let us smile more so others can smile as well.? By doing this, it will keep spreading. As well, by not always being in a negative state, we look younger as well! Shabbat Shalom. I wish you and your families a beautiful meaningful Christmas.

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