How To Nurture Deeper Connections: My Learning Journey

Have you noticed how networking events often end with promises like "Let's stay in touch" or "We should catch up soon," but after the event, we hardly ever follow up on these promises. These encounters, however pleasurable in the moment, usually don't lead to meaningful connections? I have come to realize that cultivating relationships is similar to taking care of plants – it requires consistent effort, like watering and pruning, to help them grow strong.

I'm on a journey of getting better at nurturing my connections and learning to tend to my garden of new friends. In my previous article, "A Misfit's Guide to Networking" (link in 1st comment),? I shared some honest insights about navigating the world of networking when you don't quite fit the mold. I thought, I could go one step ahead and share with you my experiences and learnings, in taking those fledging connections and nurturing them into meaningful relationships.

Here are five strategies I'm embracing to nurture new friendships and promising connections, one step at a time:

1. Turning "Let's Meet" into Real Plans: When someone says “Let’s meet/connect sometime”, I say “Sure, when”? I mean, let's get real here – we're all swamped with a million things to do, and our lives are basically ruled by our calendars. Personally, if it's not on my calendar, chances are it won't happen. So I have realized that If we lock in a date, it's more likely to happen. If it happens that we lock in a date which is a few weeks away, I propose reconnecting closer to the time so that we could adjust if needed. It eases the anxiety around it. These connect calls/meetings need not be long ones. Even a short 15 min catch-up is good to keep the momentum going.?

2. Keeping Those Thoughtful Hellos Going: We all have those times when someone that we met recently, pops into our thoughts. Maybe they said something that stuck, or you just feel like reaching out to them. I used to brush those moments aside, but these days I'm trying something different. When someone crosses my mind, I just shoot them a quick message saying ”hi”.? I'm not perfect at it yet….I am probably still a 5/10;? but it's incredible how these small gestures can actually tighten a? connection.

3. Coffee, Lunch, and Meaningful Chats: Sharing a meal is still the best trump card, in the toolkit of deepening relationships. Back when I was commuting to the office, it was a struggle to break free to go to a lunch meet. Now, working from home, it's still not a breeze, but I'm making it a point to overcome that inertia. Once I'm out, I'm reminded how much I enjoy these conversations. So, I'm stepping up and initiating those meetups more often.

4. Reacting to Posts Like I Would in Person: When I see a LinkedIn post or a WhatsApp status that hits home, I react like I would if we were chatting face-to-face. If it's funny, I throw in a laughing emoji. If it's about a promotion, I offer congratulations. And if someone's blog post moves me, I share my thoughts. I'm still practicing this, but I'm surprised by how well people respond.

5. Being There for the Big Moments: This is an area I sucked at. I let my work take over my life to the point where I often missed out on crucial events like weddings, housewarmings, the birth of a child, and even moments of grief. Looking back, I regret not being there. People were understanding, but I still feel like I disappointed them. The past can't be rewritten, though. These days, I'm making it a priority to be present for those important life moments. It's all about showing up when it truly counts, and I'm genuinely proud of the shift I've made.

I acknowledge that none of these actions alone acts as a magic solution. Instead, I think of them as? drip irrigation – each repeated action over time contributes to strengthening a relationship. One thing I've found for sure is that everyone's craving the real deal when it comes to connections. Those honest, authentic bonds that just hit differently. A genuine act of kindness, done with a sincere heart, can create these amazing connections that run deep.

As I embark on this journey of cultivating friendships, I invite you to consider these approaches for nurturing your own connections. I'm curious, what are some of the things you do to cultivate connections? I'd love to know.?:-)