How to be nice in 7 words.

How to be nice in 7 words.

I know a few jerks who have made it pretty far in life. To pretend otherwise would be a lie. Jerks occasionally win. They make lots of money. They get famous. They accomplish lots and lots of things. They succeed in a million different ways, but, there’s a catch.

Jerks who win, only win temporarily.

The people around them are just biding their time. They’re waiting until they get brave enough to leave, have a slightly better option or life catches up with the jerk and they finally lose.

When any of the above three happens, people will abandon ship as fast as they can, because no one healthy likes a long-term journey with a jerk.

Being nice is a much better long-term plan. Not only does it allow you to build something really amazing with really amazing people, it feels a whole lot better, too. Being a jerk is always an experience that empties you out. It might gift you with outward success, but inwardly, being mean, cruel or dismissive to other people hollows you internally.

Nice works better.

So how you do you be nice?

I will give you 7 simple words that will completely change your ability to be nice.

Ready? Here they are:

“Pretend you live in a small town.”

When you live in a small town, you are not anonymous. People know you. Those people will see you again. You can’t burn bridges because small towns don’t have many. You might disagree with someone, but when you realize you’ll probably see them at the grocery store, the elementary school, church and the movie theater, you have greater incentive to be nice.

When you’re anonymous, it’s a whole lot easier to be a jerk. (See the Internet.) The worst of you can come out because you don’t think you’ll see those people again anyway. Who cares? Say the passive aggressive statement. Cut off the stranger. Climb over someone because they were just in the way.

Maybe right now you live in New York City and think this is the silliest idea you’ve ever heard. You don’t live in a small town. There are millions of people flowing through that city every day. Fair enough, but keep this in mind, every industry is a small town.

You will work with the same people again. You will see the same people again. You will run into the same people again.

I got a speaking engagement at a company recently that has 100,000 employees. It’s one of the most valuable companies in the world. The person who booked me said, “One of my coworkers worked with you 20 years ago. He’d love to say ‘hi’ when you’re in town.”

I shared an office with this person at the first real job I ever had in 1999. Did I think I would see him again? Did I think we’d both change cities and industries multiple times only to cross paths two decades later? Of course not. Thank goodness I wasn’t a jerk to him.

That’s not always been the case. I’ve burned some bridges. Some out of necessity, some out of immaturity and arrogance, a dangerous cocktail. I wish I’d been nice.

I think you’ll wish you had been, too.

Nice wins long term, for you and everyone around you.

Pretend you’re in a small town, because you are.

Every industry is smaller than you think.

Don’t be a jerk.

PS - I share ideas like this once a month. Don't miss the next one! You can sign up for my newsletter at https://buff.ly/2qxplJ1.

Dolores Broderick

Customer Success Manager

5 年

Hey Jim, I hope you're doing well!

回复
Glenn Hawkins

Program Manager supporting the Naval Undersea Warfare Center, Keyport, Naval Base Kitsap-Bangor, Puget Sound Naval Shipyard (PSNS)

5 年

There is no evidence to support this, only a desire for it to be true.

回复
Dale McKinnon

President of Media Awakened, Intl.

5 年

"I've been thinking about what you said..."

回复
Mark McDowell

Preconstruction & Estimating Director

5 年

Office jerks will always find a way to change other’s opinion of colleague they are threatened by. Hard to rise above it, but it’s possible with integrity and patience.

Emma Merstetter

Strategic Partner

5 年

Sometimes you can say it in one: please. Why is this a hard word for people to know and say and use? :)

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Jon Acuff的更多文章

  • The meanest thing my kids ever said to me!

    The meanest thing my kids ever said to me!

    It’s a tie. When I sat down to write this post.

  • If You Can Worry, You Can Wonder! Here’s How...

    If You Can Worry, You Can Wonder! Here’s How...

    5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5, 5 … If you peeked inside my head on Sunday afternoon, that’s what you’d find. My brain is…

    1 条评论
  • Someone needs to tell Gen Z this ASAP!

    Someone needs to tell Gen Z this ASAP!

    I saw this picture online today. I loved the photo, but I didn’t like the message.

    21 条评论
  • The 1 Word That Can Change Your Entire Life

    The 1 Word That Can Change Your Entire Life

    Last July, I read something that changed my entire life. Ugh, people say that kind of thing all the time on Instagram.

    7 条评论
  • 2 Ways To Change How You Feel When You Feel Like Quitting

    2 Ways To Change How You Feel When You Feel Like Quitting

    Fear thinks about you a lot. In a way, you should be honored because it never bothers people who are boring.

    1 条评论
  • How To Cut Your Emails By 85%

    How To Cut Your Emails By 85%

    I still remember the first time I tried email. I was a junior in college.

  • 3 things I learned from spending 10 seconds with a billionaire

    3 things I learned from spending 10 seconds with a billionaire

    Fourteen years ago, I used to hang out with Dan Cathy, the CEO of Chick-fil-A a lot. I know what you’re thinking, “Of…

    23 条评论
  • I used to think this was SO DUMB!

    I used to think this was SO DUMB!

    Did you know you could choose your thoughts? Did you know that you didn’t have to beat yourself up with mean inner…

    1 条评论
  • The Law of the Harvest

    The Law of the Harvest

    I started my own company 10 years ago. After about 15 years of working in corporate America, I decided to strike out on…

    1 条评论
  • The Best Question NO ONE Asks

    The Best Question NO ONE Asks

    It’s almost the middle of the year and for most people, New Year’s Resolutions are 10 million years ago. January feels…

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了