How A "New Year's Theme" Changed My Life

In my weekly newsletter, Parenting Prose, I demystify the life altering journey of motherhood. I say the quiet part out loud: this is the hardest job in the world, and one that we are woefully unprepared for.

My hope is that by sharing a variety of my own experiences, I can help soften what often feels like an abrupt and wildly disorienting introduction to parenthood.

Towards the end of 2021, a friend of mine shared a gratitude practice that changed her life.

She had been starting every day by writing an entry in her 5 Minute Journal app. The first section of the entry involved writing her personal mantra.

This concept seemed foreign to me at the time, but she insisted the positive impact was worth getting through the initial discomfort.

She challenged me to come up with my own mantra heading into 2022. (I've since swapped out "mantra" for "New Years Theme" since I start this practice at the beginning of every calendar year.)

Personally, I was pregnant with my third child and settling in to my new home in a suburb of Chicago. Professionally, I had been promoted into a brand new role in a segment of our company I had never worked in before. I was embarking on a lot of unknowns and big life changes.

I decided that "grace" would be central to my theme as I embarked on this gratitude practice. My 2022 theme became "I can do hard things and I deserve grace."

Both the personal and professional transformations that took place that year were made so much more manageable as a result of the grace and self-compassion I lent myself daily.

By the end of 2022, I was blown away by how effective this concept of a "New Year's Theme" had been.

I am wildly goal-oriented and ambitious, yet somehow my New Year's resolutions only made it through March every year.

Writing the daily theme was a practice I stuck with for 365 days in a row. It turns out that when you write the same sentence over and over again and read it back to yourself daily, you start to actually believe it.

I've been doing this now for 2.5 years, and the impact is unlike anything I've ever experienced.

In 2023, I decided my theme would center around investing in myself.

As a full-time working mom to 3 kiddos born in under 3 years, and a recovering life-long people pleaser, the thought of investing in myself felt like trying to converse in a foreign language.

I was feeling overwhelmed and all consumed by my roles as mom, life partner, and professional. I remember the intense internal turmoil and tension, as if my "self" was trying to get through to me - "Hey! I'm here, too... and arguably the most important part of you!".

My 2023 theme became "I matter and deserve to be invested in."

Coming up with the New Year's Theme or mantra is only half the battle. You then have to live it.

What did I want to invest in? What did I even like? That's how far away I had drifted from myself... I didn't have the answer to that basic question.

I realized that I was never going to arrive at an answer if I kept letting life pull me in a dozen different directions, so I started setting really firm boundaries.

I prioritized tech-free walking every single day. I needed the quiet and lack of distraction to get in touch with myself again.

After a couple of months, my interests started emerging.

I love reading, so I joined a book club.

Growth is my core value, so I started yoga - a practice I had always been intimidated by.

Health is incredibly important to me, but a consistent gym routine had never stuck, so I expanded my narrow definition of exercise to include walking.

I started walking 10,000 steps a day.

I started prioritizing quality time with both old and new friends.

All of these on their own may sound insignificant, but when I reflect back on 2023 and add them all up, I invested a lot in myself.

And I owe a great deal of that to this daily New Year's Theme exercise.

I'm so proud of myself for sticking to this self-investment well into 2024.

I've always loved sports, and started playing pickleball a few months ago.

Today, I took my very first guitar lesson after years of being an aspiring musician. Why should my kids get to have all the fun?! ??

My relationship to myself is the most important relationship I'll ever have in my life.

Investing in it has been so incredibly impactful, and has had compounding positive impact.

I highly recommend this practice of creating a personal theme for the year and sticking to it!

What would your theme be for 2024?