How networking changed my life...

Most of you will know a carer of some description. They might not describe themselves that way, but the reality is that even if you’re helping your elderly neighbour get to the shops once a week - you’re taking on a caring role.

It can be an incredibly isolating experience at the best of times. When your entire world has to revolve around one person, it can feel like absolutely everything else gets pushed aside. YOU don’t matter anymore, it’s all about the person you care for.

It can feel like that’s a natural and logical progression - if someone depends on you for everything, their needs should come first. The problem is that there inevitably comes a point when this isn’t sustainable any longer and you begin to burn out.

I am, naturally, a people person. I love being around people, talking to them, and meeting new people, so extended periods where I’m not able to meet that need means that I start to struggle. You can imagine the effect that the pandemic had on me.

Due to my son Elijah's complex health needs, when Covid-19 first hit the UK, I had to shield for 6 months. From March until August, I was isolating to keep my son safe. There was never a question about whether I’d do it, but the mental impact it had can’t be doubted.

I was, at this point, being coached by the wonderful Tamsen Garrie (who still coaches me to this day). The demands that being Elijah’s carer placed on both my mental and physical health were becoming unmanageable - he needed, and still needs, a sizeable team to meet his needs and I was the one coordinating it all. I was burnt out, stressed beyond belief, overwhelmed, utterly exhausted, and running on empty. The stressors in my life were unlikely to change, so I needed to learn how to put boundaries in place, and how to handle the stress.

Tamsen’s coaching gave me that. I learned to understand how my body reacted to stress and how I could deal with it. She helped me to understand why boundaries were important, and how I could implement them. Together we took the broken, burnt-out Kaddy, and gave her back her sparkle.

Another gift that Tamsen gave me was the introduction to the WMB network. Being a carer is a lonely business anyway, and then the pandemic compounded that beyond belief. My already small circle became even smaller. Even when the world opened back up in some small way, we still needed to stay home so the tentative networking efforts I’d been making truly felt like they’d been for nothing.

While I couldn’t do in-person networking, I had a laptop and an internet connection which meant I could network online. It was the lifeline I needed. It gave me the human connection I so desperately craved, and enabled me to keep my son safe as well. It gave me the boost I was looking for and enabled me to connect with the people that would help take Carers Collective from a tentative idea to a fully-fledged organisation.

From there I’ve met the people who deliver the courses, I’ve connected with admin support staff, and people who have given me new ideas. It’s meant that I know, no matter how hectic life gets, I’ll have some time that I can dedicate to myself and my business - learning, growing, connecting.

As humans, we’re not supposed to hide away from each other. We are designed to connect, to support each other, and to be social. And in a time when all of that was taken away from me, WMB found a way to give it back.