How to Make Everyone LOVE YOU at Your Next Networking Event.

Attending a networking event seems like a no-brainer for sales professionals. Show up, shake hands, meet people, give your pitch countless times, collect business cards, and close deals. Right? 

Obviously there's more to it than that but I'm amazed at how attitudes about networking are keeping sales professionals and business leaders alike from leveraging this very important tool. Somewhere in between being a bulldog who over-pitches and a wallflower too intimidated to talk to anyone is a person who knows how to do what it takes to make networking a key part of his or her success. 

So after attending countless networking events myself I am not writing this as a proclamation that I am the new "Expert of Networking" but I have been at these functions enough times to see what works and what does not work when making new connections.

Here's some of my rules for networking like a professional.

#1 Have a pocket full of business cards with you. 

There are plenty of reasons you can tell me why this is lame and salesy and how "People don't even use paper any more, only digital connections etc." I've heard it all before. This is really just a hogwash excuse for not being prepared and not being bold enough to do what it takes to create a meaningful connection. The truth is people DO still collect business cards and even if they scan them to Evernote and toss them in the trash while connecting on LinkedIn (like I do) your business card is your best way to leave a tactile, memorable, impression on someone. You're creating a once in a life time experience and how you make this transference of information and an impression of yourself really matters.

Without a business card you're missing opportunities. A card can help jog someone's memory when you call later, send them that LinkedIn invite, or a handwritten note in the mail after the event. Also, the very act of placing a card in someone's hand is a rare opportunity to give something to someone that they have to engage with. You're making a connection that could potentially be very meaningful and it is completely lost when you shrug and say "I left mine in the car" or "I'm new to my job and haven't gotten them printed up yet". (By the way, if you're still waiting on your company cards to arrive, I'd say get real creative with another way to give someone a leave behind or don't show up. That's how much I think this matters.)

I know handing someone a card can be a very awkward thing to do but I have used statements like:

"Here add this to your collection for me"

"I promised myself everyone I met would get one of these today"

"Here ya go! Tell all your friends about me! Ha!"

All these are used as self effacing, humorous and ice breaking ways to put a card in someone's hand without being pushy.

#2 Come prepared to talk

Everyone will ask you "What do you do?/Who are you with?" when they meet you at a networking event. Your heart then begins to race and you gear up for your pitch.

"Here it comes," you think "now is my chance to make a great first impression and see if this person could be my next big client!" 

Here's the thing about anyone asking you "What do you do?" Most of the time, they don't really care and more of the time they won't remember. The question is really a just a conversation starter that almost everyone employs when they don't know what to talk about with someone they just met at an event. Sometimes it is nothing more than a knee jerk response to alleviate awkwardness. This doesn't mean you should be unprepared for this question but unless you want the conversation to stall out in record time, be ready for a way to keep the dialog going. Have a well prepared power statement of 10-15 seconds in length (not a sales pitch) that explains who you are, what you do, and what brought you there. But if you really want to engage, what you say next is critical. 

#3 Master and leverage Small Talk 

Everyone hates small talk. But if you can learn to master this skill it can be a powerful tool that gets you to more meaningful conversations. Getting better at small talk is a lot of effort but when used skillfully you can build some great connections with people who were strangers just moments ago.

The best way to master small talk is to come prepared with good questions and be ready to ask them when the time is right and the opportunity presents itself. After you exchange the normal "what do you do/how do you do?" pleasantries you've got to be ready to have a conversation. And this means (gasp!) finding things to talk about.

I work in the big city market of Atlanta. That means there are people I meet every day from different backgrounds, different countries, different parts of the State (which can feel like a different part of the country) and with different world views. This also means there are a wealth of stories each person has to tell and therefore no "lack of material" when it comes to good conversation. More likely than not, if I start listening to their stories I'll find similarities to my own story I can share and we can talk about things we have in common, and thus... a connection is made. 

Some good questions: 

"How long have you been with your current company and what were you doing before that?" 

"What do you like most about what you're doing now?" 

"Where did you go to college?" (In the South this can prompt great College Football conversations as well!)

"What brought you to this event today?" 

#4 Listen intently. 

Keep your questions sincere, open ended, and most importantly, once a question is asked... listen.

Respond with active listening techniques and deeper questions if they are naturally prompted. Listen with your ears but also with your eyes and your body language. Keep physical touch appropriate and tactful. When the comfort level is there it can be used to build a connection over a laugh or a shared moment. Listening includes nodding at the right times and dropping verbal/nonverbal cues that you're engaged and not glancing off down the hall because you just realized there's someone else you would rather talk to. Be attuned to body language, eye contact, and the responses you're getting to ensure a connection is being made. Be ready to get a read when it's time to move on if necessary and exit gracefully.

#5 Don't pitch. Don't brag.

Naturally, if you're at a networking event the topic of business will come up. If you have an opportunity to talk about business and/or your philosophy of doing business do so in a way that makes the person feel like you're competent, knowledgeable and down to earth. Mostly you want to display that you're more concerned with building trust than anything else. If you're making a real connection you won't have to pitch in some ham fisted way because you'll earn the right to make a business proposal when the time is right. The right time will inevitably come when you invest your time in building trust first. If you get a chance to talk about your successes, frame them in ways that could potentially help the person you're speaking with and not in ways that make them uncomfortable. DO NOT talk about success in a way that makes anyone think you're trying to impress them or sell them on anything. In a networking setting, use those stories of success as a chance to make trusted, long-lasting connections. 

#6 Above all, build (and don't abuse) Trust.

The biggest key to mastering networking is remembering that you are there to begin meaningful business relationships with people. 

Trust is your most valuable currency but it also 10 x's easier to lose it than gain it! When people choose to talk with you they are deciding to give you enough trust to let you know who they are, what they do, and what's important to them. If you take that information and start displaying how you intend to exploit it for your own gain (like closing a deal next month) you might as well start chewing on a clove of garlic and then see who wants to keep talking to you.

Sending LinkedIn messages, connection requests, or emails are great ways to follow up after meeting someone. However, this is also a place where many networkers begin to rapidly expend the little trust they had earned at the previous day's event. If you like LinkedIn as much as I do, send connection request with a note that references the context of how you met or something memorable that you talked about. Maybe an inside joke or a valuable insight from the event is a good idea but keep it brief and relevant!

 Don't send your sales collateral or a pushy meeting request (unless you discussed getting together when you met) and don't send a full pitch about what you do. If they connect with you on LinkedIn they'll be able to find out what you do and if you keep dialog open in a healthy way you'll know when what you do and what they need align. 

Don't add people to a newsletter list without their approval (I've made this mistake myself many times). Just like meeting that guy or girl you want to see again it's not a bad idea to give them a call or drop an email if there was a connection made and see what a good next step is in process of building the relationship but timing and respect is everything. Respect that there is a process and coming on too strong too fast can make trust evaporate in a second.

And that's really what networking is about. Relationships. Relationships take time, trust, self awareness, confidence and integrity. If you have these in increasing measure you'll be able to master your intro statement, ask good questions, make good small talk that leads to deeper talk. You'll also know how and when to follow up with the people you met and do so in a way that leads to a win-win for you and the person you connected with.

I'd love to hear your stories about successes and failures in networking as well! Leave me a comment below. 

Stay Connected, 

Jaq Baldwin