How to Network as an Introverted Professional (3 Simple Tips)

I can vividly remember attending my first true networking event back in grad school. I felt like a fish out of water. I love meeting new people, but to this day the idea of a “networking event” causes a mild blood pressure spike.? As an introvert, I appreciate conversations that have depth and weight. Engaging in surface-level conversations with strangers about the weather or the latest sports victory can drain me rather quickly.??

As a leadership coach I frequently hear from clients that, while they know they need to build and maintain their network, they find networking to be a mild nuisance at best, and downright anxiety inducing at worst. As a result, they either avoid networking opportunities altogether, or show up with an attitude of I-just-need-to-get-through-this. The pandemic has only exacerbated networking anxiety for many introverted professionals. Understandably, many of us are a tad rusty in the networking department, particularly when it comes to in-person networking opportunities.???

My goal here is to provide a quick refresher on why networking is important, particularly for the 25-40% of professionals on the introverted end of the social engagement spectrum, as well as provide some simple tips to help you approach your next networking event with more confidence.??

Why Network?

In IT-speak, a network is “a system that connects numerous independent machines for the purpose of sharing data and resources”.? A machine with a robust network has exponentially more data and resources to use and share with others, compared to a machine with a weak network.????

While everyone has slightly different motivations for when, why and how they engage in networking, making the effort to network more purposefully and strategically can have major benefits, whether you are an entrepreneur seeking new clients, or an internal employee looking to move up in your organization.? Here are just a few benefits:?????

• Idea generation: By actively exposing yourselves to different people and new ideas, you expand your access to different perspectives, which can open you to new worldviews, experiences and problem-solving strategies.??????????
• Visibility: Networking puts you on people’s radar and demonstrates to others that you care. Simply showing up to an event and engaging with others can put you top of mind among thought leaders, your senior leadership team or prospective clients, as they are considering who to share new opportunities with.?
• Confidence Building: By talking with many different people about the work you do, and what you care about, you can learn to communicate more confidently and effectively with just about anyone. ?????????

Here are a few simple strategies that have helped myself and my more introverted coaching clients to approach networking opportunities with more confidence

Tip #1: Game It to Tame It

If networking makes your stomach churn, you’re most likely ruminating on potential negative outcomes and making the stakes too high. “I hate these things”, “What if I say the wrong thing?”, “What if I can’t think of anything to say at all?”??

See how it feels to create a game out of your next networking opportunity.? Maybe your “game” is to share contact info with at least 10 people, or to ask each speaker at least 1 question. I worked with one client that dreaded awkward silences. His game was to count the number of awkward silences he witnessed at the event (he lost count). The actual game isn’t important - the purpose of gamifying your networking opportunities is to get you out of your own head, and to lower the stakes.? After all - it’s just a game!????

Tip #2 Tighten Up your Elevator Introduction

Be ready for the inevitable “So, what do you do?” question by preparing and rehearsing a short and simple explanation of what you do, and why you’re at the event. Keep it under 30 seconds and unless you are at an industry-specific event, don’t use any jargon. As the name implies, you should be able to make this introduction to a stranger in the time it takes to go up a few floors in an elevator.??

If you’re curious whether or not your introduction is resonating with someone, look no further than their eyebrows. When human beings are interested in an individual or an idea, our eyebrows go up.? When we’re confused, our eyebrows scrunch.? So get out there and raise some eyebrows!???

Tip #3: Quality Over Quantity

If you’re a data analyst looking for a new role, you can send a generic resume to 100 different companies and hope that someone calls you back for an interview.? Alternatively, you can identify 5 roles that you really want, and apply for those roles in a meaningful way, by researching each company and tailoring your application accordingly. While both options will take roughly the same amount of time, the latter is likely to lead to a more favorable outcome.???????

The same principle applies to networking. Early in my career, I felt compelled to attend every professional gathering (happy hours, conferences, you name it). It was not a good use of my time and energy, and I often didn’t even want to go. I went because I felt like I had to, lest I miss out on some professional opportunity. By being more selective and strategic about the events and gatherings that we commit to, introverted professionals can protect our valuable time and energy. As a rule, if you’re unable to clearly articulate your motivation for attending an event (e.g., to learn about Topic X, to connect with a recruiter from Company Y), you probably don’t need to be there.??

Additionally, you're likely to have more success if you approach the opportunity with a giver's mindset. Author and networking guru Keith Ferrazzi said it best: "The currency of real networking is not greed, but generosity."

SUMMARY

The great news about networking is that you don’t have to be a raging extrovert to gain value from it. It’s a skill that can be developed through focused practice. As your competency increases, so will your confidence, creating a positive reinforcement loop that will have you networking like a pro before you know it.?

Have you employed any of these strategies (or some variation) over the course of your career? I'd love to hear what's worked for you - let me know in the comments below!