How to network as an introvert

I used to hate networking with a vengeance. I get easily overwhelmed in crowds, so classic networking sessions were daunting AND draining.

As a business school graduate, I (forced myself) to go to many networking shenanigans. After putting on my name tag and best smile, I would start to fold into myself.

After trial and error, I’ve discovered that 1:1 coffee chats are my jam.

???I’m reclaiming networking on my own terms, and wanted to share what has worked for me.

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1???Understand your why

Pause and reflect; find a quiet space and take out a journal (I prefer pen & paper because it slows me down)

???Answer these questions:

~ Why are you networking? (e.g. are you a student/new grad exploring career options or pivoting into a new industry)

~ What do you want to learn from these chats?

???Identify groups of people you want to talk to (e.g. industry or role)

~ For me, I focused on recruiting and talent program management in startups

~ Tip: limit to 1-3 groups so you don’t get overwhelmed (you can always adjust as you go along)

2???Adopt a netsharing mindset > networking mindset

(inspired by my 1:1s with David Woodward, my career counselor at Cal)

~ Let go of this false belief about networking: what can you TAKE from others

~ Reframe mindset to netsharing: what can you GIVE in this relationship

~ In other words, "expand the pie" instead of "pie is limited"

3???Create a networking schedule

Time block and bucket tasks to minimize the chaos and build a routine. Adjust your schedule as needed— I recommend starting off with 2 people/week.

?? My schedule:

• Monday: reach out to 5 people
• Tues-Wed (flexible): coordinate time
• Thurs-Fri: conduct coffee chats

4???Schedule coffee chats

Send “cold” messages to people who you think are cool, brilliant, or interesting (BINGO for all 3) or ask for “warm” intros from friends, colleagues, and coworkers (even your dog).

~ Share your target groups and ask them to connect you to one person that they think you should talk to

~ or go to your friend’s LinkedIn network and find a person you would like to talk to

~ Here is a helpful networking mapping video to follow along with if you’re feeling overwhelmed

Free networking platforms to check out:

• Lunchclub: pairs you up with friendly strangers for “lunch chats” depending on your wants/goals
• adplist.org: chat with mentors and industry experts
• LinkedIn: I like to come here to find mutual connections and to send “cold messages” (can be overwhelming), sharing a great “Networking with LinkedIn” video

~ Tip: for cold messages, start with alumni if you went to college

Cold Message Template & Example

?? Template: “X! My name is X and I’m a X. I’m also [insert common connection]. I would love to learn more about [insert what you want to learn]. Would you be open for a 20 mins chat?”

?? Example: “Nina! My name is Sondra and I’m a university recruiter. I’m also Cal Alumni. I would love to learn more about recruiting challenges at a Series B startup, peer to peer. Would you be open for a 20 mins chat?”

5???Prepare for coffee chat

??30 mins (I tend to go overboard when I prepare, so setting a time limit for me was crucial to not “get lost in the sauce”)

???Ask yourself this question: what do I want to learn from this person?

~ Research the person’s LinkedIn. I love looking at who the person follows, their posts from the last month, and experience (with a focus on career pivots)

~ If a specific work, article, or experience captivates me, I gave myself 30 more mins to go down the rabbit hole

???Write down 3 specific questions for coffee chat (link to great questions shared by Tian Shi here)

6???Go to coffee chat!

?? Before virtual coffee chat

inspired by my mentorship calls with Elena Sarango-Muniz

~ ??Set a timer for 10 mins before the call to transition

~ Do a simple breathwork exercise to calm and focus the mind (scientifically proven technique in comments)

~ Pull up video call platform and questions on the side (my notes app is my emotional support)

? Before in-person coffee chat

~ Pack physical journal and pencil

~ Arrive at location 10 mins before appointment

~ Do a simple breathwork exercise to calm and focus the mind (technique here)

??? During chat

~ Let person know that when you’re looking down, you’re taking notes (overcommunicate, especially virtually)

~ Ease into call with intro questions, here are some of my favs:

~~ Where are you calling from?

~~ What has been giving you joy this week? Can be big or small

~ Ask this question at the end of each chat:

~~ My goal is to meet and learn from as many people as possible in XX industry/role. Can you connect me to one person who you think I should talk to?

7???Follow up (most important step!)

~Send thank you email/text/LinkedIn DM within 48 hrs of chat

~State one thing that resonated with you from conversation and follow-up on any action items discussed in thank you message

Thank you message template

?? Template:

“Hi X, I was X by our conversation and am still thinking about [insert 1 point that resonated with you]. Thank you for your time. As promised, I’m following up with you about these discussed actions items: X, Y, Z”

?? Example:

“Hi Nina, I was delighted by our conversation and am still thinking about your in-person networking tips. Thank you for the chat! As promised, I’m following up with you about these discussed actions items:

~~ Scheduled another call with you in a month to continue discussing community-building

~~ Could you send me the email of your friend at X company so I can schedule a coffee chat with them? Thank you! - Warmest, Sondra”

I hope that this article was comprehensive and helpful. Feel free to connect with me and share with particularly resonated with you!