How Negative Dispositions Infect Others: A Reflection On Contempt

Contempt is more than just a negative emotion; it’s a powerful thing that can infect the very person it’s directed towards. This is perhaps the most significant part of negative dispositions and judgement that we often ignore.

Contemning someone can be devastatingly infectious, not in the way you might think, but in how it affects the very person upon whom it is inflicted. When a person is consistently subjected to contempt, they begin to internalise it. This insidious process leads them to believe they are unworthy, that they have little value, and that they somehow deserve to be treated with disdain.

There are people who endure contempt because of differences in personality. They may not be very cheerful, may struggle with conversations, or may be turbulent and assertive. This reception of contempt often makes them take a posture towards those who despise them for not fitting a preferred personality type. And that posture can be one of hostility.

This hostility is not necessarily expressed through actions; rather, it manifests in a demeanour that can seem unapproachable. It is simply a reaction to feeling horrible about oneself, making it difficult to maintain a cheerful countenance. In their hearts and minds, they may feel anger and sadness because they are not chosen or accepted.

If required to partner with others, they might not be the first choice, and that rejection is deeply hurtful.This affects their behaviour, making it seem like they are perpetually angry. However, it is more complex than that. There is anger, but there is also profound unhappiness. They may wish they were different, wish they were better. The pain of not being accepted or chosen among peers is significant. Despite this, they may love having people around, even if conversations are minimal. They cherish friendships and a sense of family.

This belief doesn’t remain confined to their thoughts; it manifests in their actions and behaviours. They start to act in ways that reflect the low value they perceive in themselves, reinforcing the negative treatment they receive. It’s a vicious cycle where the initial act of contempt becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Often, people who seem perpetually unhappy are simply reacting to how they are being treated by others. Their unhappiness is a reflection of the negativity directed towards them, especially in environments where those who inspire such feelings are present. It’s important to recognize this pattern and try to break it, to try offering understanding and support instead of contempt.

This perspective aligns with research in human behaviour and psychology.

Internalisation of Negative Feedback

Research in social psychology shows that when individuals receive consistent negative feedback, they often internalise it, leading to lower self-esteem and self-worth. This is known as the “looking-glass self” concept, where a person’s self-concept is influenced by how they believe others perceive them.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

The idea that contempt can lead to behaviours that reinforce negative treatment is supported by the concept of the self-fulfilling prophecy. If someone believes they are unworthy and acts accordingly, others are more likely to treat them in ways that confirm this belief.

Social Rejection and Emotional Pain

Studies have shown that social rejection activates the same brain regions as physical pain. This means that not being chosen or accepted can cause real, measurable distress. This emotional pain can manifest as hostility or withdrawal, as a protective mechanism.

Contempt and Hostility

The feeling of contempt and its impact on behaviour is well-documented. When individuals are treated with contempt, it can lead to defensive or hostile behaviour, not because they are inherently hostile, but as a reaction to protect themselves from further emotional harm.

Importance of Social Bonds

Humans are inherently social beings who seek connections and acceptance. The desire for social bonds and the pain of social rejection are fundamental aspects of human behaviour. Even individuals who may not be outwardly sociable often crave companionship and acceptance.

Behavioural Responses to Negative Treatment

Cognitive-behavioural theories suggest that negative treatment from others can lead to negative self-perception and behaviours that align with those perceptions.

How contempt affects individuals’ behaviour and self-perception are grounded in these well-established psychological principles.

But here’s the good news, recognizing these patterns can be the first step towards breaking them. This cycle can be broken with positive reinforcement and supportive relationships.

So think about that one friend, sibling, colleague or acquaintance who may just be infected by negative feedbacks and take the right steps onwards.

References

Internalisation of Negative Feedback

Cooley, C. H. (1902). Human Nature and the Social Order. Charles Scribner’s Sons.

Mead, G. H. (1934). Mind, Self, and Society. University of Chicago Press.

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Merton, R. K. (1948). The self-fulfilling prophecy. The Antioch Review, 8(2), 193-210.

Rosenthal, R., & Jacobson, L. (1968). Pygmalion in the Classroom: Teacher Expectation and Pupils’ Intellectual Development. Holt, Rinehart & Winston.

Social Rejection and Emotional Pain

Eisenberger, N. I., Lieberman, M. D., & Williams, K. D. (2003). Does rejection hurt? An fMRI study of social exclusion. Science, 302(5643), 290-292.

MacDonald, G., & Leary, M. R. (2005). Why does social exclusion hurt? The relationship between social and physical pain. Psychological Bulletin, 131(2), 202-223.

Contempt and Hostility

Gottman, J. M., & Silver, N. (1999). The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work. Crown Publishing Group.

Fischer, A. H., & Roseman, I. J. (2007). Beat them or ban them: The characteristics and social functions of anger and contempt. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 93(1), 103-115.

Importance of Social Bonds

Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497-529.

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218-227.

Behavioural Responses to Negative Treatment

Beck, A. T. (1976). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. International Universities Press.

Ellis, A. (1962). Reason and Emotion in Psychotherapy. Lyle Stuart.