How to Navigate Relationships with Emotionally Unstable Colleagues

Workplace dynamics can be challenging, but when you’re dealing with an emotionally unpredictable colleague, manager, or direct report, the challenge intensifies. Their mood swings, reactions, or inability to regulate emotions can disrupt workflow, create tension, and make it difficult to collaborate effectively.

While you can’t control their emotions, you can manage how you engage with them to maintain professionalism, boundaries, and a sense of control over your work environment. Here’s how.

1. Recognize, But Don’t Absorb Their Emotional Reactions

An emotionally unstable colleague may be reactive, unpredictable, or prone to extreme emotional highs and lows. Their stress, frustration, or anxiety might spill over into meetings, emails, or everyday interactions.

What to do:

• Stay neutral. Avoid mirroring their emotional intensity.
• Acknowledge their feelings without taking them on as your own.
• Use emotional detachment strategies to keep your focus on work, not their moods.

Example: Instead of reacting to a colleague’s passive-aggressive email, respond with professionalism: "I see this project is causing frustration. Let’s find a solution that works for both of us."

2. Set Clear Boundaries Around Emotional Outbursts

When a coworker’s emotions start to dictate workplace interactions, it’s essential to set clear boundaries. You do not have to tolerate yelling, manipulation, or unnecessary drama just because it happens in a professional setting.

What to do:

• Address inappropriate behavior in a calm, firm manner.
• Keep conversations solution-focused rather than emotionally driven.
• If needed, escalate concerns to HR or leadership when boundaries are consistently crossed.

Example: “I understand this is frustrating, but let’s keep the conversation professional so we can resolve the issue effectively.”

3. Don’t Match Their Emotional Intensity

It’s easy to get drawn into someone else’s frustration, anger, or stress—especially in a fast-paced work environment. But escalating alongside them only fuels workplace conflict and dysfunction.

What to do:

• Maintain a steady, professional tone.
• If they escalate, disengage rather than responding emotionally.
• Use de-escalation techniques, such as redirecting the conversation back to work objectives.

Example: If a colleague starts venting aggressively in a meeting, respond with: “Let’s focus on the next steps to move this forward.”

4. Hold Them Accountable for Their Professionalism

Emotional instability shouldn’t excuse unprofessional behavior. If a colleague repeatedly brings personal emotions into the workplace in a way that disrupts productivity, accountability is necessary.

What to do:

• Stick to facts when discussing issues—avoid emotional language.
• Reinforce workplace expectations for professionalism.
• If behavior persists, document incidents and involve leadership or HR.

Example: “I’ve noticed that our team meetings often become tense when deadlines approach. How can we ensure these conversations remain productive and solution-oriented?”

5. Manage Up When Your Boss Is the Emotionally Unstable One

A volatile manager can be particularly challenging. If your boss is prone to emotional outbursts, mood swings, or unconstructive criticism, you may feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.

What to do:

• Communicate proactively to prevent last-minute chaos.
• Anticipate their triggers and adjust your approach accordingly.
• Maintain strong documentation of requests, tasks, and agreements to protect yourself.
• If necessary, seek guidance from HR or a mentor on handling the situation.

Example: If your manager frequently changes their expectations at the last minute, say: "To ensure we’re aligned, could you clarify priorities so I can focus on what’s most important?"

6. Know When to Distance Yourself

If a colleague’s emotional instability is consistently affecting your well-being, productivity, or job satisfaction, it may be time to create distance.

What to do:

• Limit unnecessary interactions.
• Rely on written communication when possible.
• Prioritize workplace relationships that are constructive and positive.

Example: If a coworker frequently dumps their personal problems on you, shift the focus by saying: "I hope things improve for you soon. Let’s get back to the project so we stay on track."

Final Thoughts: Your Professionalism Comes First

Navigating emotionally unstable colleagues requires emotional intelligence, clear boundaries, and a commitment to professionalism. While you can be empathetic, your primary responsibility is to maintain your own stability and ensure your work environment remains productive and healthy.

If someone’s emotional instability is creating a toxic workplace, remember: You are not responsible for managing their emotions, but you are responsible for protecting your energy.

Have you dealt with emotionally unpredictable colleagues or managers? What strategies have helped you maintain professionalism in the workplace? Share your insights in the comments.