How A Narcissist Manipulates & How To Break Free

First of all, it's important to clarify that labelling someone as a narcissist doesn't necessarily mean they are completely devoid of any redeeming qualities.

We all have some narcissistic tendencies and exhibit certain traits to varying degrees.

?However, when these traits become excessive, they can cause problems and have a negative impact on both, your relationship and your mental well-being.

That being said, it's crucial to be aware of the red flags associated with narcissistic behaviour.More so, recognising how they consistently play the victim card is an important aspect of this.

Additionally, if you want to salvage the relationship and if they genuinely value it, it's vital to find ways to break free from their manipulation and work on improving the dynamics between you.

The Manipulative Tactics

1. Initial Appeal Of A Narcissist:

Narcissists often start as funny, caring and playful but this is a facade that doesn't last.

2. Narcissists As Non-Random Occurrences:

Encountering a narcissistic partner is just either bad luck or a random event.

3. Control And Manipulation:

Narcissists seek partners they can control and manipulate at will, preferring submissive and accommodating individuals.

4. Empathy And Kindness Ineffective Against Narcissists:

The traditional relationship advice involving empathy, kindness, and love is ineffective when dealing with a narcissist.?

5. Inability Of Narcissists To Sustain Positive Traits:

Narcissists are incapable of long-term empathy or selflessness.

Also, narcissists find it challenging to put their own needs aside for the sake of others and the relationship.?

6. Red Flags In Narcissists:

Refusal to respect boundaries, ignoring opinions and constructive feedback, and lack of accountability.

7. Punishing Vulnerability:

Narcissists punish any signs of vulnerability or attempts to expose their faults.

If you ever had such an encounter, you would understand what I am talking about as they expose their dark side.?

8. Refusal To Apologise:

A hallmark of narcissists is their inability to apologise or accept fault.?

9. Gaslighting:

?Oftentimes, narcissists engage in gaslighting, deliberately causing their partners to question their own sanity or make them feel overwhelmed by their own emotions and tell them they are weak.

10. Victimisation:

?Narcissists typically portray themselves as victims, deflecting blame onto others.

11. Preying On Those With Critical Backgrounds:

People who grew up in critical or neglectful environments are more susceptible to narcissistic relationships and behaviours.

?12. Familiarity In Chaos:

?For some, the chaos and demeaning nature of a relationship with a narcissist feels familiar and normal.

?13. Emotional Withholding:

?Narcissists often use affection and emotional closeness as a bargaining chip, granting them selectively to reward behaviour that serves their interests while withholding them to punish or control their partners.

?14. Moving the Goalposts:

They frequently change their expectations or the rules of the relationship, keeping their partners off-balance and perpetually trying to please them.

This tactic ensures that partners remain invested in the relationship, striving for approval and validation that is always just out of reach.

?15. Isolation Techniques:

?Narcissists may attempt to isolate their partners from friends, family, and activities they enjoy.

By undermining these relationships and interests, the narcissist gains more control and reduces the likelihood that their partner will seek outside support or perspectives that could threaten their dominance.

?How To Break Free

?1. Importance Of Boundaries And Self-Respect:

The key to handling a narcissist is establishing strong clear well-defined boundaries and maintaining self-respect.

?2. Slowing Down In Relationships:

?It's advisable to take things slowly in dating to identify and understand the traits of a partner.

?3. Recognising Green Flags:

?Take your time to identify positive traits like validation, empathy, curiosity, reciprocation, healthy conflict resolution, and selflessness in a partner before making any commitments.

?4. Learning And Changing Self-Relationship:

?The key to breaking free from a narcissistic relationship is to learn and improve the relationship with yourself and do not be fooled or bullied.

?5. Building Self-Esteem And Self-Worth:

?Strengthening self-esteem and self-worth is crucial in overcoming narcissistic abuse.

?6. Understanding True Love:

?Recognise that in relationships love should be gentle, caring, kind, selfless, and warm, without power struggles, ego or manipulation.

?7. Overcoming Trauma And Fears:

?Breaking free from the hold of past traumas and fears is necessary to escape the cycle of abuse or bullying.

?8. Inherent Worthiness Of Respect And Love:

?Everyone is inherently worthy of kindness, love, and respect, regardless of their past experiences or what they've been told.

?9. Seeking Professional Support:

Don’t be shy or embarrassed to engage with therapists or support groups that can provide the guidance needed when leaving a narcissistic relationship.

They offer strategies tailored to individual experiences, aiding in recovery and personal growth.

?10. Cultivating A Support Network:

?Also, seek help and support from your network of friends, family and other close acquaintances, who may understand and support your journey and all this can reinforce your resolve to break free.

Their encouragement and support can help you to diminish the isolation or disrespect often felt in such relationships and empower you to make healthy choices for your future.

?Final Thoughts

With all the chaos, manipulation and control orchestrated by a narcissist, finding liberation is both profound and challenging. Know that, breaking free from the grip of such toxicity is not simply an act of defiance, but also an act of restoring and empowering yourself.

Tough, this journey requires resilience, as you must often navigate through self-doubt and the confusion caused by gaslighting in order to reclaim your self-worth.

?Remember the essence of this story goes beyond escaping the hold of a narcissist; it is about reclaiming your own narrative. It's about rewriting the script, replacing lines of dependency and submission with dialogues of independence and strength.

The final act is one of transformation, where you not only survive the storm, but also learn to find joy in self-sufficiency and peace in solitude.

If you have read this article till this page, I want you to carry forward not a sense of fear, but a glimmer of hope. Hope that, regardless of how deep the scars may be (we all have them), you possess the inherent strength to heal.

Hope that love is not about control, but about the freedom to be yourself. And I hope that every individual holds the key to breaking free from their own chains and unlocking their own power.

?Lastly, in this newfound freedom, there also lies a responsibility - a responsibility towards yourself, nurturing the growth that was once hindered by someone else's shadow.

Finally, as we step beyond the grip of manipulation, we venture into the vast potential of our own futures.

Let this piece of writing stand as a testament to the resilience of the human spirit and as a guiding light for those who seek a path towards self-liberation and authentic living.