How much $$ is your marriage worth?

What’s your marriage worth to you?

How about your relationship with your kids?

$1,000?

$5,000?

$50,000?

Most — I hope, all — of you think that’s a preposterous question. The relationships with the people we truly love are priceless.

It’s impossible to put a monetary value on them.

So you say…

So you claim…

But then I meet people each week who do just that — without even realizing it.

Here’s what I mean...

One of the first questions I ask my potential clients is to paint a vivid picture of the lifestyle they want.

Some have trouble doing this, while some can paint the picture with ease.

Many of them want a lifestyle in which they’re more mentally and physically present with their spouse and with their kids.

It’s part of the lifestyle they want — but it’s not part of the lifestyle they’re living now.

Some of them tell me their current lifestyle, career, or workplace is impacting their marriage. It’s jeopardizing their important relationships.

Many of these individuals are making $200,000-plus salaries.

And when asked what’s keeping them back from making a change, they often come back with a dollar amount.

“I need to make sure I keep my $XXX,000 salary.”

So let’s be brutally honest: That dollar amount is the price you’ve put on your marriage and relationships with your kids.

Hey, that’s not fair!

You might be saying to yourself, “but I’m doing it for my wife and kids.”

“That salary is all for them!”

Well, let me ask you this: If you’re making that salary now, and your relationships are suffering…

If you’re making that salary now, and you’re living in quiet desperation…

If you’re making that salary now, and you’re coming to me because you are clearly worried about losing the people or things you love…

Then that dollar amount you’ve named is absolutely the price tag you are putting on those relationships.

Because if you truly value your relationship with your wife and your kids, you’ll immediately put them ahead of money in the pecking order.

Right?

Pain Avoidance

Now, I don’t write any of this to demean you. I’m not doing this to pass judgement.

I’m writing it from experience. I’m writing it because I’ve absolutely been there.

I’m writing this because I’m heartbroken every time I see someone choose to remain in a comfort zone of misery — jeopardizing their relationships — instead of standing up and fighting.

A basic part of human nature is that we are often motivated more by pain avoidance than by the pursuit of happiness.

And some people, more than others, let that pain avoidance mindset totally paralyze them.

If you’re one of those people, clearly envisioning your perfect lifestyle isn’t enough to get over the barrier of “perceived pain” you might have to endure to get to that lifestyle.

And, by perceived pain, I mean the “what ifs.”

What if I work really hard to change and I’m still stuck at the end of it?

What if I spend money on a coaching program and it doesn’t work?

What if part of my transformation involves quitting my job or having difficult discussions with people around me?

I could go on and on…

But those “what if” questions represent pain points that may or may not happen.

That’s why it’s “perceived” pain.

But they’re enough to stop some people in their tracks.

So let’s change the question…

Instead of asking you to define your desired lifestyle…

I’m going to ask you: What’s your life going to look like if it continues down the current path?

What if it leads to further distance from your spouse?

Further distance from your kids?

What’s your life going to look like if you add the loss of these relationships to your current anxieties?

The feeling of waking up each day and dreading your workday.

Weekends ruined because you’re constantly worried about work, about money, about whatever?

Think about how much pain will be derived from that lifestyle.

Think of how much pain you're enduring now ... and add to it.

How much pain will be derived from doing nothing?

The fact is, your short-term pain avoidance is setting you up for massive pain in the longer-term.

Are you waiting for massive pain to force your hand?

Recently, someone here on LinkedIn tacitly admitted to me that he’s waiting for the crisis to hit so that there’s so much pain it forces him to invest in changing his life.

Quite honestly, that’s what it took for me.

The anxiety attacks, the snapping at my kids at the dinner table, the ruined weekends, the late nights…

None of it motivated me to change until it became so loud, so overpowering that I shut down my profitable PR/ad agency overnight.

I’ve had some folks here comment to me that sometimes it’s better to have a “lightning strike” moment like that to force change.

And, yes, there was some benefit to being forced to swim without the benefit of a life preserver.

But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you really want to avoid pain, you’ll begin taking action now to make changes in your life before it’s too late.

If you really want to avoid pain, stop putting that salary-driven price tag on your most beloved relationships and make a change before you head off the cliff.

Know this: The earlier you act, the more likely it is that you can build the lifestyle you desire, while strengthening your relationships, and building the financial freedom that allows you to have the experiences that fulfill you.

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If you're ready to act to stave off the coming pain and, yes, build the lifestyle you desire, please click here to join one of my upcoming Group Informational Discovery Calls to learn more about my Freedom Club coaching experience.