How Much Are You Worth?

Bernard Arnault has a net worth of $215 billion.

PEANUTS!

Even if you combined his wealth with that of Warren Buffett, Elon Musk, and every other billionaire from the Forbes 100, it would still be less than 1% of what you are worth...

In the eyes of your child.

And even that pales in comparison to your worth...

In the eyes of God!

Don't sell yourself short!

In today's world, it's easy to feel like just a number.

Regardless of your age, experience, or expertise, you only get one vote. I'm not advocating for a different system of democracy, but I am suggesting that our society undermines our self-worth. This might not explain everything, but it goes a long way in understanding why people protest so much, and so violently.

We all need to feel important. That we make a difference. That we count.

And in the eyes of the President of the United States, you don't. Or at the least, you only count for one. And if you are not in a swing state, then not even that much.

Loving your kids, and convincing them they are loved, are not one of the same thing.

It's a worthy battle. To win, you need more than a simple meme or a catchy jingle in carpool, because suicide rates are skyrocketing.

So, the more you can convince your children that they are loved, the more self confidence they will exude (and the less therapy they will need).

Narcissists are simply people whose parents failed in this primary responsibility.

It's not, as many think, that narcissists have an unreasonably high sense of their own importance. It's actually the opposite. They are terrified that they are really insignificant.

So they build grand and mighty walls of illusory self-importance.

Their delusions are deeply entrenched, not because they believe them, but because they need them.

They need them because self-hate is debilitating.

Hence, the narcissist craves your admiration. Because you are giving them the validation they desperately seek.

And, initially, it works like a charm. The first compliment is greeted with immense joy and appreciation, catapulting you onto a lofty pedestal.

What the narcissist offers is hard to resist.

Indeed, waking up next to someone who feels you've saved their life is enticing and often, intoxicating. It's very potent to be adored and cherished in such a profound manner.

It's a reaction unlike any; in any other relationship.

Because healthy people appreciate praise, but they don't need praise.

It's absolutely understandable how people get drawn into the narcissist's orbit. We all want to be needed and feel significant.

After all, who cannot deny that some significant part of running for public office is not just to be called, Mr. (or Mrs.) President?

The narcissist offers what feels like a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a hero.

Indeed, that feeling can be as addictive as any drug. Love, in this form, ranks high on the toxicology scale. And victims of narcissistic relationships often follow a pattern not dissimilar to an addiction.

The perfect victim of the average narcissist is someone who might struggle connecting with people. The narcissist makes such people believe they have discovered someone who genuinely values and appreciates them. And therefore the clueless victim believes they have found true love.

This is not a matter of mistaken intentions, both the narcissist and their victim are playing the game for real. They both believe (honestly believe) they are being genuine.

You Cannot Build a Castle on Quicksand.

The narcissist is their own worst enemy. They are trapped, because they genuinely believe they are unworthy. Therefore, they swiftly set out to dismantle any affirmations and undermine any sense of validation that is offered to them.

They are akin to the Borg in Star Trek, and live by a similar iconic line, "Praise is futile." It may have an impact initially, but it quickly loses its effectiveness. By the next encounter, the narcissist has already erected defenses against it, convincing themselves that it's insincere.

At the other extreme of civilization are those precious souls who truly love themselves.

Without a doubt, these are the best people to be around.

Just as the narcissist sucks the air out of the room, these elevated human beings radiate joy, light and love.

That's why the Torah portion called Bamidbar, counts the babies of the tribe of Levi. A practice not done for any other tribe.

Because you can't get enough of them.

The tribe of Levi made it their mission to know and teach this skill.

Rav Noah Weinberg zt"l taught us a simple but effective technique to achieve this most important goal. Every evening, as you put your precious offspring to bed, ask them this question:

Who Loves You?

The easy answers are mom, dad, grandparents, aunts and uncles. But then expand the circle to include friends and even more distant family.

After you have exhausted the entire list, then ask this question:

WHO LOVES YOU MORE THAN EVERYONE?

GOD!

Of course!

Loving yourself is THE BEST FEELING!!!

It doesn't come from what you own, wear or drive around in.

It comes from realizing how important you are to others.

The difference between those who love themselves, and those who don't, is remarkably fine.

Both are praised, but the ones who love themselves, believe it.