HOW MUCH WORSE CAN LEWY BODYS GET?

How much worse can it get? Lewy body’s at Night times

The only signs there were that a bad night lay ahead was that I felt restless and a little unnerved before I went to bed, not sure if that has anything to do with it but what followed was one of the worst nights I have experienced since my diagnosis, and that’s quite a statement I can tell you, and the reason for this is? It was never-ending, almost continuous all night without a break and so incredibly draining.

Going to sleep these days isn’t any problem whatsoever, in fact, I can say, sadly, I am doing more and more sleeping each week, not something I can control, it just happens without any warning no matter what time of day so last night I seemed to drop off immediately more or less.

I knew as soon as I opened my eyes as I saw the blood on my side of the sheets, I panicked and my first thought was Elaine, who was thankfully sleeping right next to me but whilst writing this Elaine says that was out of sheer exhaustion because if I get no sleep? Neither does she. I had somehow managed to scratch/cut myself whilst hallucinating that I was fighting gangs of knife wielders and gangsters after my blood, and then, believe it or not, it got worse and I really can’t go into detail or my flashbacks would last longer, but involved people and loved ones dying in the most horrific way right in front of my eyes and no matter what I did I couldn’t save them, one by one they perished and their screams penetrated the deepest parts of my mind. The night continued with frustrating night terrors when I finally dropped off and didn’t stop until I sat bolt upright this morning shouting Elaine name, arms flaying trying to reach her but stopped at every turn until I realised finally I was back in the land of the living and in my own bed next to the love of my life, all safe and well.

I have kept this blog as free from Horrific details as I can as I wouldn’t want to share that with anybody for fear of frightening them or upsetting them, I won’t even tell Elaine the exact details as I know she will feel so helpless about how tormented I am. TORMENTED is the best way and word I can use to explain all this, it feels never-ending, and knowing it will never go away unless the inevitable happens is so gut-wrenchingly depressing.

I have tried all the medication on the market but at the end of the day, it’s my dementia, nothing else, the curse of Lewy body, my cross to bear and up to me to try and wait this out until many questions are answered, but in the meantime, I hope to carry on writing reports/ blogs like this in the hope that all know the point is we have to keep fighting this, we have to be together on this, we have to try somehow to make sense of it all, no matter how hard it gets, we have to try because if we don’t, what’s left? The easiest thing in the world is to give up, anybody can do that, can’t they? But we have to fight it to find out the best way to beat this, don’t we? If we don’t? What’s the point of it all ????

Till next time……