HOW MUCH SUGAR IS NEEDED TO MAKE A ZADDY?

There are zaddies everywhere in the world. What differentiates one zaddy from the other is the intensity of lusciousness that each carries with an unapologetic swagger.?

There are also daddies. They move up or down the daddy ladder depending on who they are compared with, what they do, their social and financial statuses, their handsomeness, who addresses them as such, their age, and the likes.

If you are a person’s father, you are simply a daddy. If you are the supreme example of something, say love, beauty, prostitution, betrayal, jealousy etc, you are a daddy. That’s why we can say Fabian (From the famous TV series, “When you are mine”) is the daddy of all family black sheep. If you are an older man splashing money and gifts on a younger sexual partner, you move up the ladder a bit; you are a sugar daddy. You’d need a lot of sugar to maintain the hallowed status of a sugar daddy. We may not be able to determine just how much sugar you’d need. But there is another step on this ladder that is higher than being a sugar daddy. Make a guess…

In August 2016, Tyrone William Griffin Jr., an American songwriter and singer with the stage name, TY Dollar $ign released a song titled ‘Zaddy,’ wherein he imposes sexual colouration on the concept of daddy and brings it out as ‘Zaddy.’ He sings: ‘I fuck her/ she keep on calling me zaddy/she keep on calling me zaddy/ I give her the D, I give her the D/she calling me zaddy.’ TY Dollar $ign does not mention age differences but we get the impression that the zaddy in question is rich and has got a lot of swagger. This goes in line with pop culture’s tinting of the ideal conception of zaddy through history and culmination in what Urban Dictionary now defines as ‘a fine, handsome and sexy ass intelligent man that makes you smile and drip every time you see him. He knows how to handle business in and out of the bedroom…’ ?TY Dollar defines being a zaddy further with this part of his song ‘She love to go shoppin’ in Paris/She keep on callin’ me zaddy…She got zaddy runnin’up a budget on her.’ TY does not stress the significance of age but we get the impression that the lady calling him zaddy is younger than him. We also learn that the zaddy in question is rich, stylish, handsome, and sexy and ready to spend lavishly on the lady.

Earlier than TY Dollar $ign’s song, zaddy first appeared on the 30th of January 2016 when Blac Chyna was arrested. She, in the instagram post referenced Rob Kardashina whom she was dating at the time, as her zaddy. From that moment onward, instagram was overtaken by users of this slang.

Zaddy has been remotely linked to zaydeh, a Yiddish word for grandfather. Your zaddy therefore is your grandfather. Phonologists would find the phonemes of daddy and zaddy interesting since the biggest difference is in the initial consonant. This is a typical note on the fragility of English words on meaning and sound level. Zaddy and daddy are a perfect example of minimal pair. The meanings of both words are not so far apart. The typical, earliest, most venerable or finest example of something could be termed a daddy or zaddy. It’s thus easy to conclude that apple’s MacBook is the zaddy or daddy of all computers. There is something in the /z/ that imbues it with a stylish, attractive robust meaning.

Pop culture gifts us a lot of zaddies. Some of them: Idris Elba, Zayn Malik, Ryan Reynolds, Tom Hardy, Barrack Obama, Joe Manganiello, Stephen Young, Chris Pine etc. In Nigeria, there are tons of zaddies in entertainment industry: Wizkid, Davido, Lamide, Burna Boy, Tuface to mention few. The above names do not in any way suggest that only guys in the entertainment industry can be a zaddy. Wole Soyinka is the zaddy of Nigerian playwrights just as Ben Enwowun is the zaddy of Nigerian artists, just as Linda Ikeji is the zaddy of Nigerian bloggers.

?There is however no hard and fast rule about who qualifies to be a zaddy or not. The same rule that applies to beauty being a phenomenon often deemed to be in the eye of the beholder also applies to zaddy. One girl’s zaddy is another woman’s daddy. On the daddy aspect, he is rich, older and attractive while a zaddy is not necessarily an older person though he can be; he is attractive, sexy, and fashionable. But the quantity of sugar needed to be a qualified zaddy cannot be limited to sexiness and swag and style and age and attractiveness, though they are all metaphors for the sugar in our question. Being sinfully wealthy is a level of zaddiness that everyone covets. Yet, it does not stop there.

Do you now have an inkling of how much of sugar you need to be a zaddy? You still don’t? It’s already spelt out: be the baddest of your kind. If you are young, embrace your youth and explore all its dividends. Zaddiness is a question of beauty and quality, for only such can bring all eyes your way. And it doesn’t matter whether you are young or old. Wacko Jacko was already a musical zaddy at age 5. Fatai Rolling dollars was still a zaddy of music even in his 70s and 80s. Take a pause and look around you today, you’d find a world of zaddies in their chosen fields; young/old men and women doing exploits with all the nerves in their bodies and minds. Tend your passion, hone your skills. That’s about the quantity of sugar you need to be a badass zaddy!

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I am Joshua Omidire, your percipient writer, brutal headitor, relentless logophile, publisher, digital marketing expert, graphics designer, video editor, and ad manager. With me at Famecliff Digital Pro is a team of mad content creators who make the kind of magic that turns simple content into your brand's spotlight.

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