How much is 'enough?'

'He who knows that enough is enough will always have enough' - Lao Tzu

General

As children, our spirits were unbridled and unbroken. We still had our neurological network of fear - the bogeyman under the bed, the monster in the dark - but our spirits led the way, not our fears. With various experiences that we went through in life (and I talk not only about me but almost all whom I have met) there was a shift in balance - from spirit to survival. We started focussing on survival - I 'have to' take this call, I 'must' complete this by EOD, I 'need to' get this done.

One thing is certain - we will all die one day. There is no doubt about that - however, what we seem to forget is that till that happens, we have been provided the opportunity to live. And as we live, doing the things we love, spending time with people who we care about, the experience of which fill us with hope and happiness, sorrow and pain and anger and hurt will come along. Yes, we will still shed tears but will always return to a place of peace.

Accepting that we cannot be always happy, always peaceful is the key to contentment. Unless you experience hunger, you will never savour food. Unless you have experienced thirst, you will never enjoy the sensation of water trickling down your throat. And thus, life WILL bring you all kinds of emotions.

Dealing with Emotions

A young adult had asked once, 'How do we deal with emotions?' And I answered, we don't 'deal' with emotions, we feel them. And once we do, we let them slither away, like smoke in the breeze, so that we are ready to feel the next one, and the next. Almost all problems in life emerge out of our decisions to hang onto emotions - whether it is shame or guilt, or pain or hurt, or even pleasure and joy.

Hanging on to emotions (whether connected to good memories or bad) is a sure shot method for disaster and prevents moving forward in life. Unfortunately majority of people just do this. Which leads to stress, anxiety, depression and various psychosomatic disorders.

The Concept of Enough

Contemporary fear fits into two categories the fear of not having enough and the fear of not being enough and both are connected to survival. And whenever survival is threatened, the organism will do anything to get out of it. And till the time they do, post the instance where this 'threat' was triggered, they will continue to live in stress.

So whether your Boss screams at you - eliciting 'you are not good enough' or you want to take your family for a trip and your bank statement disagrees - eliciting 'you dont have enough' the end result will be the same - disappointment and emergence of low self esteem.

How do you know you are good enough? The question itself is incomplete and hence there is no answer. Good enough for what? Without that 'what' and 'as per who' the question does not make sense. And here we spend our lives chasing it in our failed attempts to be 'good enough.'

Enough as an input to Stop

When do you know you have had enough?

Food. Drink. Time spent with a boring relative. A relationship. Losing money in a business. Being taken for granted. A job that is not helping you grow. What needs to happen for you to pull the plug and make it stop?

Usually there is a feeling, maybe the waning of happiness and beginning of discomfort. Or discomfort that is no longer acceptable or tenable. Whichever may be true for you, unless you 'know' it, your decisions would appear to be random. They are not. Each decision you make is unconscious and happens at the same specific threshold of discomfort.

The camel has to realise how much straw it can carry before the beduin piles on more and more before the 'last straw breaks the camel's back.'

It is thus imperative for you to figure out your penultimate straw and make the changes required before your 'back gets broken.'

Business

Whether for someone else (a job) or on your own, it is important that you be prepared for change. And you for that you need to recognise the feeling of the penultimate straw.

When do you shut down your business?

When do you diversify into something else?

When do you get in a Consultant?

The answer to all these questions lie in your ability to recognise the feeling that you have which tells you that you must act now - before it's too late. Before you lose your balance!

Conclusion

When we talk about enough, we invariably, at one point or another, reach the philosophical question - What do you really want? And when we ponder on the answer, the next step is to figure out whether it is within our control or not. If it isn't, well, you are setting yourself up for failure. So what do you control? And how can you make it happen?

As business owners and leaders in business (and of course in life), it is absolutely crucial that you recognise your feeling for change and take decisions in time before it's too late.