How Much Does One Change In 3 Decades? I Took A Little Time To Reflect On How I'm Different and How I'm The Same Since Graduating From High School.

I can't believe that it's been 30 years since I graduated high school! Or can I? In some ways 30 years has gone by in a flash. But at the same time, so much has happened, so much has changed. After all, it's been more than 10,957 days since I was a high school student.

And maybe it feels a bit like the old saying goes: 'Life is short but the days are long.'

I remember parts of my graduation day. It's a bit foggy overall though. Kind of like the weather that day. The start of the ceremony was pushed back 2 hours due to some light rain that morning. I remember putting a pink bandaid on my graduation cap that morning so that it would be a little easier for my family to spot me on the field of our football stadium amongst the 800+ other graduates. But just before all of us giddy graduates started to walk into the stadium, a strict teacher came and ripped the bandaid off my cap. She scolded me and said, "You are not allowed to put anything on your graduation attire!" I snapped back something about how it was a stupid rule and just another reason I was so excited to be leaving high school and heading off to the freedom of college. One of my basketball coaches was sitting near this exchange. He grinned and then said to me: "Ah, there's the passion and fire that made you such a great competitor on the court. Don't lose that."

And that hasn't changed. 30 years later, I'm still a passionate soul who doesn't like to be told he has to do things like everyone else.

I don't remember anything the speakers at the graduation ceremony said except the valedictorian using the obvious opening, "Can you believe high school is over?" 4 years prior, at freshmen orientation, the senior class president welcomed a bunch of us wide-eyed 14 year-olds by saying, "Can you believe you are finally in high school?" The truth was, I could believe I was in high school and then on graduation day, I could believe that high school was over.

I guess I've always been a bit of an old soul. Mature for my age. That hasn't changed much either. My advice and wisdom is often sought after-even by folks much older than me. And I'm all about the early bedtime!

When they called my name at my high school graduation ceremony, I could hear my family cheering from way up in the bleachers. The attention was a little embarrassing but I appreciated it too. Then I remember sitting through hundreds of other graduates' names being called. I looked to the right of me and to the left of me. In 4 years I had never seen either of these people. And that was okay with me. As someone with "Introverted preference" on the Myers-Briggs assessment, I liked going to a big school. And in college, I absolutely loved my huge, 400-person lecture hall classes. I could sit-back, listen and take notes without the fear of being called on. And hopefully, the professor was an engaging speaker.

I'm still happy to sit anonymously in a large lecture hall listening to a speaker but now I'm just about as happy to BE the speaker.

When my high school graduation ceremony ended, we tossed our caps in the air and then a sea of graduates started to walk across the football field towards the exit and the next chapter of our lives. In the large crowd, I remember bumping into one of my basketball teammates, Jason. We looked at each other, shook hands, and Jason said, "And that's a wrap on high school." I'd never see Jason again. We lost touch after high school. A few weeks ago, I learned that Jason had recently passed away peacefully in his sleep at the age of 47. I was looking forward to seeing him at our 30 year high school reunion. RIP, Jason.

Although I hadn't seen him in 30 years, I can remember him picking me up for basketball practice like it was yesterday. That hasn't changed either. I've always had a really strong memory of events and experiences of my past. I'm a total nostalgia nut.

After the graduation ceremony, my family hosted a brunch for my friends and their families. I remember my friends being surprised that their families were invited too. I told them how I was thinking about how if I was a parent, I'd want to be celebrating with my son or daughter on their graduation day. So of course, their families were invited.

I've always been quite empathetic. A blessing and a curse I suppose. It's probably why I don't have any hair...Feeling the feelings of so many other people for so many years can be stressful.

On graduation night, my best friend, his girlfriend, my girlfriend and I were supposed to go see Depeche Mode. We had gotten tickets months earlier and couldn't believe how lucky we were that they were playing on our graduation night. Unfortunately, the lead singer, Dave Gahan, got sick and the show got cancelled at the last minute. I was so disappointed.

I still build things up in my mind and often feel disappointed when they don't play out how I expected. But I've gotten better. It's a work in progress.

My Mom could see how disappointed we were that our plans had gotten cancelled. She bought us some champagne (Thanks Mom!) and we celebrated by listening to Depeche Mode CD's and sipping on the bubbly. We made a toast about all the good times we had had together and we made one to all of our futures. We hoped our lives would be filled with many more good times.

But I also wanted my life to be unique and impactful. That hasn't changed.

I'd go on to have an exciting and engaging experience at the University of Colorado at Boulder. Then after college graduation, I'd spend time as a sportscaster, surfer, and sketch-comedy performer before settling into my current role as a career and life coach. I'd write a workbook , give a Ted-like talk in front of 500 of my colleagues, and I'd create a Coursera course.

But what I'm most proud of is something I always wanted: To be a husband and a father.

So as I reflect back on how I've changed and how I'm the same since graduating high school 30 years ago, I guess it can be summarized by saying that I have changed a little, evolved a lot, and stayed mostly the same.

• My interests 30 years ago were sports, music, comedy, girls, and beaches. Those haven't changed much. But I've evolved and now my biggest interest is wellbeing/thriving/flourishing.
• My values 30 years ago were mostly about family, friends, and being unique. Those haven't changed but making a positive difference now is a driving force.
• My strengths 30 years ago were empathy, humor, communications, and basketball. Those haven't changed much though I'm not as quick a basketball player as I used to be.

If I dig a bit deeper, the changes are there. Maybe a bit subtle but profound and important.

I have less hair but I'm more self-aware. I'm a worse basketball player but a better communicator. I'm not as shallow and have deeper relationships. I'm more optimistic but also more anxious. I'm less skeptical and more spiritual. I'm less closed-off and more open. And most of all, my anger is down and my self-confidence is up.

I supposed the credit for most of these changes goes to father time. After all, experience is the best teacher. But also: family, friends, teachers, mentors, therapists, gurus, journaling and reflection all get credit too. But probably most of all, I give credit to a deep desire to live a fulfilling and meaningful life. As Stephen Covey said in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, "Begin with the end in mind." Hopefully, this is not the end. Here's to the next 30 years. May I change, stay the same, and evolve.

Sincerely,

Jordan I. Maness

PS: Have a nice day