How much do you really need?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how conditioned we are to want more, bigger and better, whether that be money, job title, house, cars, whatever. We accumulate stuff because we can. Perhaps it's human nature to strive for more, and that includes money, which has become a universal proxy for success.

But is it really? And more importantly, should it be?

I've found that most people rarely dig deep to figure out what their values really are. They get on a path and push the pedal to the metal, using titles, status and compensation as the measure of success. Some of this is undoubtedly ego driven, and some of it is the very real need to provide for your family. But much of what people spend their precious time on earning money goes far beyond what they really need to live the life they have.

The means has becomes the end.

I think the most important questions you can ask yourself are these:

How much do you really need? And for what?

The answer to this will depend greatly on how honest you can be with yourself about what is truly important to you. In working with military veterans and others in a major life transition, the first step I have them take may seem to be backward, but is actually a massive leap into the future:

Just who the hell are you? And what do you care about?

These are foundational questions that may have never been asked or answered before. When you are young you move forward with energy but not much wisdom; you build a resume and a career based on linear progression, with new opportunities coming from the work you are currently doing. New blocks build on existing blocks, and you may spend little time wondering if these are the right blocks to build what you really want out of life.

For me the most importance currency has been time and the freedom to choose; I have always traded freedom for money in an effort to live my life my way. The key is that I've always strived to make sure the choices I've made reflect who I really am and what I really want out of the time I have on this earth.

One of Stoicism's four virtues is having the courage to make choices for your life that reflect your core values. Epictetus said this:

“Two words should be committed to memory and obeyed: persist?and?resist.”

Persist in your desire to find your path and resist the temptation to give in to using money, power, fame, or influence as proxies for success.

Money is fleeting; your life could end tomorrow and you can't take it with you. Strive to find something more enduring, more satisfying, and more soul affirming. Figure out how much you really need and focus on the life you really want.