How to Move Out of Fear

I am getting the same questions over and over with the same request. “Hey, Dr. Sylvia, what advice do you have to move out of the fear that is rampant these days.”  

Comments are so similar. From ones about wasting time to ones about poor sleep or gorging on junk food or drinking too much. Others are about arguing over anything no matter how trivial, to emotional distancing in relationships. 

They all seem to boil down to looking fear in the eye and deciding what to do next. 

Here is my response after some deep dives into my own pattern of facing fear over the years. 

To all who read this: fear is like a family member who lingers too long, who sucks your energy, who can only live (kinda like a virus) with you as the host. 

• Fear makes us freeze at the sound of a sneeze 
• Fear makes us hoard toilet paper just in case. 
• Fear makes us stay glued to our phones to know what is going on. 
• Fear makes us binge on food, drink, Netflix. 
• Fear makes us discount anyone who disagrees with us. 
• Fear makes us feel alone, even when others are within reach. 
• Fear makes us feel guilty about not caring enough when others are worse off. 
• Fear makes us judge, blame, and attack so we can feel strong. 

You can add to this list from your own experiences. 

Here is what happens when you finally tell fear to take a hike. When you can say “Enough, get out, you are no longer welcome here. You are boring because your stories are all the same.” 

When you can do a pattern interrupt. 

What happens next? 

• We start to move. 
• We move our bodies by taking walks, doing yoga, or jogging in place 
• We move our minds by reading, yes reading books that have been gathering dust. 
• We move our emotions by reaching out to family, friends, neighbors. 
• We move our desire to always be right by checking for facts. 
• We move away from the refrigerator knowing we’re not all that hungry. 
• We move into times of silence, just because it feels good. 
• We move to show compassion to those who are held down by limiting beliefs. 
• We move to find new skills that were dormant inside of us. 
• We move to ask for help when we forget to move. 

And here is what happens then:

• We step out of the box. 
• We step into possibilities we never thought existed. 
• We being to live and love and care and dance and sing in ways that never seemed possible. 

And what happens then? 

We grow. We grow. We grow.  

And, after the fear loses its power and all the efforts to move take hold, what happens then?  

We finally can make a difference in ways that amaze and satisfy. 

Keep going and keep growing. 

About Sylvia Lafair

As a curious kid, I was fascinated watching how often people would make the same mistakes and complain about the same upsets time after time. I observed it in family, neighbors, at school and even in books and films.

As I grew older I saw how specific experiences become behavior patterns that people lived by yet barely noticed. It was “same stuff, different day,” just like in “Groundhog Day.”

My fascination with the power of personal and cultural patterns deepened after my father died from a sudden heart attack when I was 14. The cause? Constant conflict at work.

My determination to understand what happened and why led me to an amazing discovery: unresolved family patterns follow us to work. That’s what was behind the stress my father carried throughout his career.

Work stress became the enemy.

My search for more answers became my passion, to find ways to transform outdated, ingrained patterns that destroy health and the joy of success.

Now, I do what I do to prepare, liberate and empower leaders and teams — and to ensure no one need lose a loved one over unresolved conflict and stress at work.

Ready to take your leadership to the next level?

Take the leadership quiz>>HERE<<

Find out why kind of leader you are and how you can break through the barriers holding you back!

— Sylvia Lafair PhD — founder of Creative Energy Options (CEOInc.) and the world’s leading authority in Pattern Aware Leadership Development, Top Global Leadership Guru and award winning author of Don’t Bring It To Work.

Read Sylvia’s columns inINC.com and The National Business Journals