How to Move Beyond Regrets and get to Your Sweet Spot

“How did I get here?” 

This was the exact question I found myself asking as I sat and mused over the events of my life in the preceding five years or so.

I was sad and relatively unsatisfied with where I had been at the time. I looked back over my life and began to go over every single decision I had taken as well as all the steps I had taken to get to where I was at.

“What could I have done differently to get a different result?” “And how was I getting geared up to shake things up a bit in order to get a different result?”

“Where did all the time even go?” “Who is responsible for all the mishaps I had encountered along the way?”

From the little conversation, I found myself having with myself, I realized that I was still being held back in the past.

Ultimately, I realized that I had not completely let go of my mistakes and all the things I probably hadn’t done right. And as a result, I was still stuck in the past with all its mistakes, heartaches and pains. In other words, I was still hung on regrets.

Conducting a self-retrospective analysis of my life revealed the enormous amount of weight I still had hung onto my shoulders. A weight so heavy that it even prevented me from taking any meaningful steps towards getting to a better place. A place I would rather refer to as ‘the sweet spot’.

This is life and sometimes we cannot prevent bad things from happening. We all make mistakes with our decisions, relationships, careers or families. But the problem is not in making mistakes. The problem becomes when we refuse to look beyond our faults and choose to dwell in the unpleasant zone of regrets.

Regret kills productivity. Because, rather than figure out how to do it better the next time to increase the likelihood of success, we spend all that time and energy remaining fixated in one spot. The spot of regrets and despondency.

But, now it is time to move beyond that spot and begin to take the leap towards your sweet spot.

After wasting a good amount of time regretting nearly every decision I had previously taken, I finally found the strength and courage to move beyond that unpleasant spot. And now, I have found my sweet spot and I am constantly basking in the glow that this beautiful place brings.

If it worked for me, then it definitely can absolutely work for you. So, let’s get right into it.

To move beyond Regrets:

Appreciate the fact that you messed up

Sometimes, what I find commonly is people failing to take responsibility or ownership of their faults. People would rather try to apportion blames to other people rather than own up to it. Get this right: you are absolutely responsible for how your life turns out. So, it’s up to you to choose whether to become successful or not. It doesn’t matter how badly other people may have treated you. You are absolutely responsible for what happens to your life. So, when you do make mistakes or take decisions that do not turn out right, take responsibility for them. Some people would even pretend that those mistakes never happened. Don’t be that way. Own up to your faults because that is where the healing process starts from.

Analyze your faults and come to peace with yourself

Now that you know that you didn’t get that thing right, it is time to take stock of what actually got you to that place. Analyze your unique process to find out where you may have missed the mark. And after you have done that, try to find peace with yourself. Don’t over think it. Acknowledge it happened and let’s move on.

Realize you have not failed but have only learned a different way of getting things done

Yes, that thing did not work out as planned but you have at least learned not to do things a certain way and hopefully will be able to come up with a different and better way to get that job done.

Keep hope alive and look into the future

When there is life there is always hope for a better future. I always tell people, “you think you have the worst of problems, but wait until you hear what your neighbor is passing through!” Sometimes, the door would not open just because you knocked on it once. It may require repeated knocks and even a total tearing down to get that stuff delivered into your hands.

Do not allow the internet or social media judge you to stupor

Sometimes when we find that we do not succeed at something we are trying to achieve, we may be tempted to go to social media to find solace and comfort. Actually, that may be detrimental in some circumstances and so it might be best for you to enjoy your solitude than have social media dictate your mood. For me, while carrying out a self-introspective and retrospective analysis of my actions, I completely turned off social media. That approach helped me heal better and faster. So, learn to discover what would make the difference for you.

It can only get better, not worse.

So, enjoy the rest of your journey. Life is like a ball. Today, it might roll towards you, and at other times it might roll away from you. Don’t stress it; rest it. When one door closes, others will definitely open up for you. So, keep hope alive and do not lose heart. Because your breakthrough is closer than you know!

Congratulations to you as you journey away from that place of regrets into your sweet spot!

Thank you for reading.

Evi Abada regularly writes at www.pearlsglobalimpact.org. Feel free to get in touch with her here or email at [email protected].