How to Motivate and Connect: Strategies for Building Meaningful Connections

I’m excited to share some powerful tools that can help you motivate those around you. Whether you’re dealing with procrastination, avoidance, or simply trying to foster a sense of vision and forward movement, these strategies are designed to create genuine connections that lead to meaningful progress. Connection is at the heart of everything, and in this article, I’ll share some stories and tips that will show you just how impactful connection can be.

Understanding Emotional States: The Power of Awareness

This week, I had the privilege of speaking to university students about recognizing their emotional states and the behaviours that stem from them. I introduced them to my “attune in process”, where we start by identifying our resting emotional state. Students wrote down emotions like exhaustion, stress, and worry—common feelings for many of us. One student, however, described themselves as “bubbly,” which brought a refreshing contrast to the discussion.

We then translated these emotions into sentences that reflected the underlying thoughts driving them. These thoughts, often hidden in our subconscious, revealed themselves in statements like, “I don’t know if I am enough to do this,” or “Can I get my assignments in on time?” By doing this exercise collectively, the students were not only able to recognize their own patterns, but they also realized they weren’t alone. This collective awareness created a sense of clarity and connection in the room, illustrating the profound impact of shared experiences.

The Importance of Connection in Early Fall

As we move into early fall, whether you’re in a classroom, at home, or in the workplace, your primary focus should be on building connections. Connection is the foundation upon which dreams and aspirations are built. Without it, people tend to isolate themselves, leading to anxiety, procrastination, and avoidance. These behaviours are symptomatic of disconnection, and by making connection your top priority, you can start to turn things around.

I recently had the opportunity to work with the Calgary Immigrant Women Association, where 168 staff members from various departments came together for a staff appreciation day. My challenge was to connect these individuals—not just to each other, but also to the organization’s mission. The result? By the end of the day, the room was electric with connection. I’ll walk you through exactly what I did so you can apply these techniques in your own settings.

Building Connection: Start with the Personal

One of the most effective ways to build connection is by sharing a bit of yourself. Before even getting on stage, I made a point to walk around the room, introduce myself, and make eye contact with as many people as possible. This simple act of acknowledging others is something we often overlook in our busy lives, yet it can be incredibly powerful. Whether you’re a teacher greeting students at the door, a parent taking a moment to truly see your child, or a leader engaging with your team, this small gesture can set the stage for deeper connections.

When I did take the stage, I shared a personal story for the audience get to know me a little. I find that when leaders, teachers, or parents share appropriate parts of themselves, it opens everyone up to deeper engagement. For example, I shared a memorable moment from a family trip to Disney World, where my son and I had a front-row seat to the fireworks while on a roller coaster. It was a small, yet unforgettable moment, and it set the tone for others to share their own memorable experiences.

Moving from Personal to Meaningful: Scaffolding the Conversation

After sharing personal stories, I guided the group through deeper questions. First, I asked them to share a memorable moment with those at their tables. This started the conversation on a light note, but it set the stage for the next question: “What has been a defining moment in your life?” I shared a personal story of overcoming family struggles, which allowed others to open up about their defining moments as well.

One woman shared her story of immigrating to Canada from India in 2020 and being separated from her family for years due to the pandemic. Her recount of reuniting with them at the airport brought the room to tears and created an immense sense of empathy and connection among everyone present.

Connecting Through Values

The conversations naturally progressed to discussing values—what each person truly cares about. By scaffolding the experience with well-crafted questions, we built a pathway that led to meaningful discussions. When we finally talked about values, people were ready to share because they had already connected on a personal and emotional level. This set the stage for aligning their personal values with the organization’s values, reinforcing the idea that they were in the right place.

The Power of Stories and Connection Strategies

One key takeaway from this experience is the importance of storytelling in creating connections. Stories evoke emotions, foster empathy, and help us see each other as humans with shared experiences. Whether you’re leading a classroom, a team, or your family, think about how you can incorporate stories and meaningful questions to build stronger connections.

Here are some tips for how you can create this wherever you are:

1. Share Your Stories

One powerful way to build connection is by sharing your own stories. As a teacher, you might relate to your students by saying, “Hey, I was the one always talking in class, just like some of you. I know how tough it can be to stay quiet for an hour.” Sharing these kinds of personal, relatable experiences not only makes you more approachable but also helps others feel seen and understood.

Humor can also be a great connector. My son’s favorite teachers are the ones who tell funny stories—he connects with them on a personal level, and it makes him feel more engaged in the classroom. Whether you’re a parent or a leader, consider how your personal stories, even the light-hearted ones, can create a bond with those you interact with daily.

2. Ask Powerful Questions

The next step is to ask powerful, thought-provoking questions that encourage deeper conversations. Whether you’re talking to students, teammates, or your children, the goal is to scaffold the experience—starting with safe, easy questions that gradually lead to deeper, more meaningful discussions. This process allows people to open up naturally, without feeling pressured.

For instance, you might begin by asking, “What’s something fun you did this weekend?” and then move on to, “What’s something that really matters to you?” These types of questions not only foster connection but also encourage people to dream, to think deeply, and to engage with the world around them in a more meaningful way.

3. Embrace the Opportunity to Connect

Connection is what brings communities, families, and teams together. However, disconnection occurs when we ignore opportunities to create these bonds. Being brave enough to foster connection—whether by sharing stories, asking meaningful questions, or simply taking the time to engage with others—can have a lasting impact.

I’m inspired by organizations like the Calgary Immigrant Women Association, which took an entire day to invest in their team’s well-being and connection. The dividends from such an investment will be far-reaching, strengthening the fabric of their community.

Conclusion: The Call to Be Bravely Connected

People don’t dream when they are disconnected. They don’t dream of how to make their community the best place to live, or their school an incredible space to learn. In a world where disconnection is all too common, I challenge you to be brave today to connect with those around you, whether in your classroom, your workplace, or your home. If you ever need support in fostering these connections, whether through consultation or a workshop, I’m here to help.

Remember, the effort you put into connecting with others today will pay off in ways you might not even imagine. So, keep being brave, and keep connecting.

You can find more articles and thoughts like this on my blog, my YouTube channel, or my Podcast on Spotify.