How to Be More Attractive to Men when Dating – Instantly
Susan L. Edelman MD
Psychiatrist in Private Practice, Dating Coach, Adjunct Clinical Associate Professor at Stanford University, Author
Sometimes, when you meet a guy you really like, he doesn’t like you back. If you’ve been dating for a while, you know very well how difficult it is to find someone attractive you can picture yourself with long-term, so it’s that much more disappointing when the guy you like is not attracted to you.
Most women often believe that physical attractiveness is the key to a man’s heart and attention. Why wouldn’t they? In a culture as obsessed with youth and beauty as ours, how you look seems all important. As a result, these women put in a lot of work on their appearance, focusing on their clothes, makeup, and spending thousands on beauty treatments. All of this in the hopes of solving the question of how to look more attractive in dating. At the same time, they are ignoring all the other essential factors that can make a woman appear more attractive to a man.
Taking care of your look and body is perfectly fine, but don’t underestimate the many other ways you can make yourself more appealing to potential partners. What makes you attractive to men goes way beyond what is skin-deep.
Here are the top 5 tips that will help you to instantly be more attractive to men:
Tip #1: Mindset
When you’re looking for the right man, you can easily start taking things very seriously. A bit too seriously at times. This is perfectly normal, as you know your dating goals and have created space in your life to be laser-focused on them. But, one of the best ways to connect with a new man in your life is to lighten things up and just have fun. It can either look like being more playful or you might even tease him a little bit when appropriate. When he’s having a good time, you are a more attractive woman in his eyes.
You want a man who enjoys being with you and wants to do that as much as possible. But if his date is always thinking "business," that might not be the most enjoyable date in his mind.
If you are sick of dating right now, then you’re probably feeling a little burned out and you may need a break. Dating shouldn’t feel like a chore. Try to think of a date as a meeting with someone new, who can teach you something about your dating journey, whether or not he is Mr. Right.
Tip #2: Smile.
Yes, women have been told to smile more for centuries, and most women are sick of it. But it’s not about faking a smile just to make yourself more attractive to a guy, but to remind yourself to show you enjoy his company. If you are enjoying his company, you really shouldn’t be faking it.
Even if you are nervous, you can still enjoy meeting someone new. Try to be present in the conversation, connect with your date, and not the worries you came with to your meeting. Get to know him. A good man wants to make you happy and smiling is an easy way to show you are happy.
Tip #3: Boost Your Confidence
The only way that new clothes and makeup can help you to look more attractive for men is if those things boost your confidence. Men love confidence, they love a woman who is comfortable with who she is because, at the end of the day, that’s what sexy really is.
New clothes and makeup can only hide your self-esteem issues to a certain point. If you struggle with your confidence, it’s essential to put in the work to learn to love yourself and appreciate your gifts. That may not be a quick fix, but once you do that, everyone will take notice of your new persona, not just your potential Mr. Right.
Tip #4: Appreciate What He Does for You.
Here’s a secret into how men think: if he does something nice for you and you don’t show appreciation, you’ve just committed a big turn-off. Be they compliments, flowers, or small gifts, he wants a reaction from you. Don’t brush them off or change the subject. This is a very important way to be more attractive to men. Practice it until you get good at it.
The best thing you can do is acknowledge the nice thing he did, even with a simple remark like "That’s so sweet!" or "Thank you so much!" You’re also sending him a message that these are the types of behaviors you like and want in a relationship. If he gives you flowers and you say nothing, he might think that A) either you really don’t like flowers or B) you don’t appreciate his efforts. And that can be confusing for a man when you are dating.
If you want to learn about more ways you can appreciate a man, check out pages 143-147 of my book, Be Your Own Brand of Sexy.
Tip #5: Be a Little Mysterious
Meeting a man you really like can feel wonderful. So wonderful that you can feel the need to share everything about yourself. But this can easily lead to oversharing, which robs him of the experience of wondering about you and wanting to get to know you better.
It’s human nature to feel like the prize is more valuable when you have had to work hard to earn it.
Your Next Success Steps
Why don’t you pick one of these areas and work on it? Which one do you think you need to practice? See if you can enjoy yourself more when you try these approaches. Notice whether men seem more attracted to you. Leave us a message or question below. I’\d love to hear from you.
If you want other suggestions to become more attractive to men when dating, my Single Woman’s 12 Piece Toolbox in Chapter 7 of my book, Be Your Own Brand of Sexy, will give you many more ideas!