How Mindful Feeding of Your Thoughts Affects Your Health and Happiness

In the past couple of months, I have been so busy working and trying hard to balance my professional, personal, family, and social lives. But I was struggling. I was struggling really hard. From the outside, people might not have noticed that I was falling off balance. Maybe some did, but I can assure you the majority didn’t. How could you notice at first glance?

?I may not have an outstanding, high-achieving life, but I do have a decent educational background, a solid professional career, a fulfilling personal life, and an impressive volunteer profile. So to some, I might look perfect at first glance. But was I?

?I was completely off track, messing up everything little by little without even realizing it. Despite my best efforts to keep everything in place, I was failing. I started to stress over even simple tasks, and when I couldn’t complete a given or pending task, it felt like my whole world was falling apart. I was completely burned out and stressed, which eventually led to physical complications. My husband, a constant supporter, tried to guide me not to stress about anything. He advised me to adopt stoicism and a nirvana mentality to help cope with balancing my life.

Taking his advice, I began reading several articles where I discovered ancient Taoist philosophy , which teaches you how to balance seemingly opposing forces and live in peace. Taoism is represented by the Yin Yang symbol, also known as “Taiji” or "Tai Chi" or "Taijitu ,” which dates back to ancient China before the 3rd century and represents the unity and duality of nature.

The yin-yang symbol consists of a circle divided into two halves by a curved line. One half of the circle is black, representing the yin side, while the other half is white, representing the yang side. A dot of each color is situated near the center of the other’s half, symbolizing that both sides carry the seed of the other. The intertwining halves cross a spiral-like curve that splits the whole into semicircles, and the small dots represent the idea that both sides coexist and unify opposites to form a whole. The curvy line signifies that there are no absolute separations between the two opposites. The yin-yang symbol embodies duality, paradox, unity in diversity, change, and harmony.

This Yin-Yang representation helps you understand that there will always be pressure in life, significant changes to cope with, and things beyond your control. At the same time, there are many things you can control and adapt to, allowing you to maintain your calmness. You can always choose how you want to respond and maintain balance. Some struggles break us to the core, making us feel like it’s the end and we can never be the same. I agree with the latter part—we’ll never be the same, but we’ll become the best version of ourselves, rising like a phoenix. Just like Japanese Kintsugi , there's beauty in the broken. Remember, each struggle you've endured has made you stronger.

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To cope with my struggles, I sought various guidelines, inspiring talks, books, articles, and other resources. I discovered several Japanese techniques that helped me tremendously, and I believe they can be handy for others as well.

1. Ikigai - What's your purpose? Ikigai translates to "reason for being" or "purpose in life." It represents the intersection of what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. By identifying your ikigai, you can find a sense of meaning and direction in your life. Start by reflecting on your passions, strengths, values, and the needs of the world around you. Consider what brings you joy and fulfillment, and how you can use your talents and skills to make a positive impact. By finding the sweet spot where your passions, skills, and values intersect, you can discover your ikigai and live a more purposeful life. For further reading, you can explore "Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life " by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles and “The Art of Japanese Living: How to Bring Mindfulness and Simplicity Into Your Life ” by Jo Peters.
2. Shikata ga nai - Control what you can control. Shikata ga nai emphasizes acceptance and resilience in the face of adversity. When faced with a situation that's beyond your control, instead of resisting or fighting it, accept it and focus on what you can control. Practice resilience by finding ways to adapt to the situation and persevere. By embracing shikata ga nai , you can cultivate a sense of inner strength and peace, even in challenging times.
3. Wabi sabi - Embrace imperfection instead of stressing. This concept embraces the beauty of imperfection, transience, and the natural world. It's about finding beauty in the imperfect, the incomplete, and the fleeting. Wabi-sabi encourages us to appreciate the simple, unadorned, and natural elements of life. Embrace the imperfections and flaws in yourself and the world around you. Instead of striving for perfection, focus on the beauty of what's real and authentic. Find joy in simple and natural things, such as a quiet moment in nature or a handcrafted object with visible imperfections. By practicing wabi-sabi, you can cultivate a sense of gratitude and contentment and find beauty in unexpected places. A deeper exploration can be found in "Wabi-Sabi for Artists, Designers, Poets & Philosophers " by Leonard Koren.
4. Gaman - Stay strong, control how you react. Gaman translates to "enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity." It emphasizes perseverance, resilience, and self-discipline in the face of hardship or adversity. Gaman is about staying strong and not giving up, even in difficult circumstances. Recognize the challenges you're facing and accept them with patience and dignity. Remember, you can control your attitude and your actions. The philosophy of gaman is detailed in "Bushido: The Soul of Japan " by Inazo Nitobe.
5. Shoshin - A beginner's mind. In Zen Buddhism, Shoshin means a beginner's mind—a state of openness and wonder that allows a person to approach life unfettered by the preconceptions, biases, or habits associated with knowledge and experience. This mindset can lead to continuous learning and growth. For insights into this approach, "Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind " by Shunryu Suzuki is a recommended read. When you're a true beginner, your mind is like a blank slate—receptive, eager to learn, and open to all possibilities, much like a child discovering something new. However, as you acquire more knowledge and expertise, your mind can become less open to new ideas. In essence, this concept highlights the importance of maintaining curiosity and a willingness to keep learning.
6. Oubaitori - We all grow and bloom at our own pace. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, we should focus on our own growth and value what makes us special. Oubaitori emphasizes the importance of individual growth and the unique path each person takes. This idea is echoed in "The Courage to Be Disliked " by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga.
7. Kaizen - Always seek to improve. Kaizen means "continuous improvement." It's about making small, incremental changes or ongoing sustainable improvements in all aspects of life, from personal development to business operations, to achieve long-term progress and growth. Find areas where you'd like to improve. Break down your goals into small, achievable steps that you can work on consistently over time. Focus on making incremental progress rather than trying to achieve major changes all at once. Celebrate successes along the way and use them as motivation to continue. "The Spirit of Kaizen " by Robert Maurer provides valuable insights into this concept.
8. Shu-Ha-Ri - Learning and mastery. Shu-Ha-Ri is a martial arts concept that's been adapted to various fields, including business, education, and personal development. It refers to the stages of learning and mastery: Shu (follow the rules), Ha (break the rules), and Ri (create your own rules). Shu-Ha-Ri emphasizes the importance of following tradition and learning from others before developing one's own style or approach. Learn and master the basics of a particular skill or field. Once you've a solid foundation, start experimenting and exploring new approaches and ideas. Finally, develop your own unique style or approach based on what you've learned. Through Shu-Ha-Ri, you can achieve mastery in your chosen field while also fostering creativity and innovation. For a detailed exploration, read "Learning Agile " by Andrew Stellman and Jennifer Greene.
9. Mono no aware - Beauty in impermanence and transience. Mono no aware describes the bittersweet feeling of appreciation for the fleeting nature of life. It's a reminder of the impermanence and transience of all things, including joy and sorrow, beauty and decay. It's about cherishing the present moment, acknowledging its beauty, and feeling gratitude for the time we have. Start by noticing and appreciating the small moments that bring you joy. Think about their transient nature. Instead of clinging to experiences or material things, appreciate them for what they are and let them go when it's time to move on. By practicing mono no aware, you can cultivate a sense of gratitude, acceptance, and resilience in the face of life's impermanence. This concept is beautifully articulated in "Mono no Aware: Enchanting Transience – Embracing the Beauty of Life’s Fleeting Moments " by Yumiko Kaito and in "The Tale of Genji " by Murasaki Shikibu.
10. The Pomodoro Technique - A time management method. This method involves doing focused work during 25-minute intervals—known as pomodoros—and taking a five-minute break. This method helps improve focus and productivity. For an in-depth guide, refer to "The Pomodoro Technique " by Francesco Cirillo.
11. Hara Hachibu - Eat until you are eight parts (out of ten) full. This practice encourages mindful eating and helps maintain a healthy lifestyle. It's a principle followed in Okinawa, Japan, where people often live longer and healthier lives. For more information, read "The Okinawa Program " by Bradley J. Willcox, D. Craig Willcox, and Makoto Suzuki.

Finally, I want to share a quote that resonates deeply with me:

“One of our greatest freedoms is how we react to things.” ― Charlie Mackesy, The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse