How to be mentally fit in a world that isn't mental at all.

Dear you,?don’t worry — your brain won't be lifting weights or entering a gym soon but think of this as the physical fitness of our minds.?Just as our bodies require regular exercise and checkups, our minds need the same as well.

I hope you are doing okay amidst everything that is going on in the world today.?How are you coping? Racing with the tides? Slowing down? Exhausted? Keeping well? I would really like to know (feel free to send me a DM or share in the comments). This month brought some memories and I would love to share them with you, hoping that it helps you thrive.

Growing up as a child, I never really understood what it meant to have a relationship with myself,?I spent more time with others than I did with myself. As time went on, I noticed that I didn’t know how to be by myself and I needed the company of others most of the time to feel normal. This became increasingly difficult as I grew older, some friendships grew apart as I progressed academically changing schools, and some died while the others that were thriving had me so dedicated to them. For the most part, I knew how to manage and maintain good friends but little did I know something was lacking.?

As years went by, and friendships evolved,?I realized that spending time with myself was a necessity, in fact, it was going to help me be a better friend and support system. It became glaring that just because I loved the company of people right from childhood did not?mean that I should neglect to spend time with myself, love my own company and become more in touch with myself. In fact, I would always put the needs of others before mine and most times let their thoughts, words, and action dictate my response.?That in itself was very unhealthy.?

The world today, given the rise in technology and the current economy, is not gracious enough to care about your mental well-being, so protecting your mental health is first, your responsibility.?

Mental health in the most simple terms is how we manage and process information, the way we think and feel about the information we receive every single day goes to show whether we are mentally healthy or not.

Self-awareness is a necessity when it comes to your mental health because it helps you understand yourself better; your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. It also helps you prioritize what is important to you at every given moment, which helps you stay focused at all times.

Also,?understanding your stressors and managing stress, being intentional about the people in your circle play a considerable role. Our mental health is directly affected by the people we surround ourselves with, the places we go and our environment; the things we see, touch, and feel.

World mental health day was last week and I shared live on a radio show, "Tell your story" by Quinesta Nemine Ekom on the role self-awareness plays in preserving our mental health.

The following week, I?also shared on the Global Arts in Medicine Fellowship conference on "Making mental health a global priority. My presentation was centered on Making Mental health a priority in the society". For my presentation, you can watch from 37:19 - 1:09:58 minutes but I assure you chioma akin-adekeye and Eni Bankole-Race did exceptionally well on their presentation: Making mental health a priority in the family and the workplace; you should watch the whole thing.

?"Building a mentally healthy society is a collective responsibility?of everyone, regardless of their status". -Esta Richard Etim

As much as I believe that making mental health a global priority in our society is a collective responsibility, I also believe that it starts with each and every one of us.??

However, it is important to state that the content of this newsletter is strictly for prevention: helping us deal with challenges that expose us to risk factors associated with mental illness and not for treating a mental condition.?Though some of the content here might be helpful, seeking professional help should be the priority.

Imagine a world where everyone is self-aware, gracious to their neighbors, and consciously working towards building and supporting others regardless of their race, background, or status. From hospitals to schools, social media, workplaces, right down to the home front, etc.?Picture that world...

After I lost weight, I realized I wasn’t truly healthy; I mean I was physically healthy but my mental health was on the back burner. I suffered severe burnout, stress and finally experienced a mental breakdown during the pandemic. At that moment, I knew I had to do something different for the change I desperately needed.

"We should strive to become mentally aware, so it can help us know ourselves better and?attract the kind of friendships and relationships that will serve us."- Esta Richard Etim

Our mind is a powerful tool and our brains have this extraordinary capacity to process and analyze information, but like anything that’s high-performance, it also requires constant care and maintenance.

Here are some things that worked for me and you can try them too:

1. Accept yourself: Everything that makes you unique, love it and accept yourself, even your mistakes and failures too because then, you can learn from them.

2. Extended grace to yourself: For all the mistakes you have made, forgive yourself and also try to stop being too hard on yourself for things that you would ordinarily let go of if you were dealing with others.

3. Invest in your personal development: Becoming an Ardent learner can help improve your confidence and communication skills.?

4. Learn to accept the things you cannot change: There are certain things that may never really change but you can change your perspective and be intentional with how you respond.

4. Practice gratitude: Life is laced with a lot of uncertainties; no one really knows what tomorrow will bring but we choose to make each day we wake up memorable. Showing gratitude regardless in the face of uncertainty helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships.

5. Spend more time with yourself and also practice self-reflection often.

6. Accept that you are not responsible for people's actions, everyone is responsible for what they think, feel and eventually do, not you.

7. Practice self-care daily: Do things that help you de-stress and feel relaxed daily.?Like watching a movie, listening to your favorite playlist, talking with friends, etc.

8. Learn to embrace failure, glean the necessary lessons and move on quickly (this is a tough one but practicing it consistently does really help).

9. Intentionally removed all forms of pressure in your life: For me, I redefine things around me that usually bring pressure, for example; Consistency for me on LinkedIn is being able to share my bi-weekly newsletter every month for now.?This may seem 'unacceptable and unrealistic to some but it isn't to me.

Remember, what works for you and your well-being is the best choice at all times.

10. Showing kindness to people: Kindness has been shown to?increase self-esteem, empathy, compassion, and improve mood. It can decrease blood pressure and cortisol, a stress hormone, which directly impacts stress levels. People who give of themselves in a balanced way also tend to be healthier and live longer. ( Mayor Clinic Health system)

?Here are some tips I shared during my presentation at the Global arts in Medicine Conference that can help improve our mental health.

Becoming mentally fit?improves relationships with those around you, whether it’s with a family member,?partner, or friends. It helps us build the tools we need to have a healthier relationship with ourselves, which ripples out to healthier relationships with others.

Here are some more tips :

• Having a morning and evening routine, incorporating some self-care practices as process goals.
• Meditation is also a great way to keep your brain in shape because it helps boost your overall awareness of your sense of self.
• Therapy is a fantastic option, bringing a trained and experienced professional into your life, to be able to share more comprehensive feedback on your thoughts and perhaps another perspective that could help steer you in a better direction.
• Finally, Prayer: This is such a powerful but underutilized weapon in our arsenal and makes up part of our spiritual health; It is the glue that holds our being together. Prayer shows absolute trust and commitment to God and His ability to keep His promises.

Why is it important?

Becoming mentally fit can help us better sail through life’s inevitable ups and downs, including the ability to overcome adversity and face challenges.

It can also help us learn to become less reactive, something that has become all too common in today’s culture. That moment when we have more control or more awareness over our thoughts and feelings and behaviors, we can choose to respond in a more proactive way, rather than react.

Becoming mentally?fit requires some consistency. It can be practiced in just a few minutes every day or as often as works for you, as there is no one-size-fits-all approach.?

Being able to set aside a little bit of time to connect with yourself can go such a long way in helping you feel more empowered.

The ability to be able to observe how you react to things in your external environment and just observe that reaction without reacting can be so powerful. Being able to identify the things that stress you out, the things that excite you, the things that fill you, and the things that drain you can be such a powerful place to start.

I hope this makes your journey?feel a little less complicated.

Have a beautiful week!

Stay F.I.T,

Esta.