How to Mediate Tension Without Taking Sides

Where two or three are gathered conflict is inevitable. At some point in life, you will have a fair share either as the participant or a mediator.?

However, in today's newsletter letter, we'll be exploring how to resolve conflict without taking sides.?

As I mentioned earlier, conflict, especially in leadership, is non-negotiable. How you meditate and resolve conflict without taking sides or being perceived by others as being biased will test your leadership skills. The wrong signal of favoritism within a team can disrupt the team spirit you’ve labored to inculcate.?

Just like the old saying?"There is no tree that does not have its share of strong winds."

The question is, when the wind blows, how do you stand firm and ensure fairness? How do you ensure you don't lose the trust of the parties involved??

Let me share a story: two team members were to work on a project together, but they both had different ideas about the direction of the project. Both ideas were creative and innovative, and the competence of both of them to deliver on the job was not questionable. They were passionate and they had valid points.? If you were in these shoes, what would you do??

It's only natural to take sides with the person whose points made more sense to you, but as a leader, how do you ensure the other party doesn't feel left out??

The bigger picture here is not who is right or wrong but building the bridge where others can only see walls.

Here is how to maintain balance while meditating either in your personal or workspace

• Don't be in a haste to conclude:

Never jump to conclusions without fully understanding the problem. Acting based on surface-level information can lead you to make misinformed decisions. In the heat of conflict, listen actively to both parties before acting.? Ask questions to clarify if you are uncertain of the root cause of the issue. Sometimes, it could be that one of the parties involved just wants to be heard.?

Just like Andy Stanley said always know that "Leaders who don't listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.'”?

• Be Neutral:?

This is the part that the emotional nature in us struggles with when settling conflicts- neutrality. To best explain this concept is an African proverb that says "A river does not side with the fish or the fisherman."?

As a leader, you are the river. Your goal is not to point fingers, of course, you can always point out errors to both parties, but your ultimate aim is to find a middle ground that favors the entire team or organization. Make them understand it's not a contest of who is right or wrong neither is it a contest of who is the boss favourite. Putting aside personal alliance or grudges and maintaining neutrality if you want the progress of your team.?

• Paint the Bigger Picture to Both Parties:?

While meditating, make both parties understand why the grass suffers when elephants fight. Shift their focus to how their disagreement affects other members of the team. Refocusing the issue can make them see beyond their differences and be open to compromise.?

• Create an Environment That Encourages Dialogue:?

You can only resolve an issue when both parties are willing to air their views. It's important to create an environment where team members feel safe to express their diverse opinions in a respectful and solution-driven manner, even if they conflict with others’ opinions. If it's necessary set ground rules to avoid personal attacks and insults when airing opinions.?

• Involve Both Parties In Proffering Solution:?

After hearing from both sides and discovering the problem, the next step is to propose a solution, not dwell on the problem. One of the strategies I use is to encourage them to propose solutions rather than imposing a solution. That way, both parties feel involved, and no one is left out.?

As simple as these 5 strategies seem, meditating conflicts takes patience. You need to have a lot of this in your bank as a leader so that you don't get frustrated.?

From these five points I shared which do you think is the hardest part? Let's talk about it in the comments.?

Click here to grab a copy of my book, 'The Precision-Led Woman ,' and also subscribe to my YouTube channels, where I share insights on career growth, personal development, and leadership.?

Thank you for reading.

With love,

Victoria Ajayi!