How meatballs enlightened my career path.

A tale about?professional?experiments

It’s?Tuesday early morning. Berlin is whiter today from all the snowfall during the night.?

I see my reflection on the meat?counter’s glass,?while I wait for my favorite Turkish butcher to pack the 5kg of minced lamb meat I just ordered. This could be a?normal?day, but?it’s?far from it. 5kg of minced meat for someone who lives alone shows that something is off.?

I’m?pale. I look?defeated,?and tired, and?there’s?an emptiness inside that?I’m?trying to run away from.

As I carefully walk like a drunk penguin on the icy roads of Berlin, I replay over and over again the moment that brought me here. Two years of working for a dysfunctional organization, a pandemic, and overworking in meaningless things. I shut down my laptop in a middle of an out-of-touch and tone-deaf leadership training as I?screamed?“Fuck this shit!”.?Never returned to work.

It’s?Tuesday early morning.?It's?ice cold outside?and?you?can’t?hear a thing. Just the sound of me mixing minced meat with pistachios and arugula in a metal bowl. Today?I’m?not going to?work,?again. Today?I’m?making 200 meatballs.?

You see, after years of not allowing myself what I?really?wanted to do in my life and at work, it all came crashing on me?at once.?My career, although successful by my standards, was never intentional. Coming from Portugal meant you take the job you can and work it out from there. It?doesn’t?give that much space to think about what kind of company you would like to work?for,?and the work you would love to do. I mean?we?do think about that,?that’s?why I always had my own projects after my paying job.?But?it was never an option to live?from what I really wanted to do.

Years passed by, I got good at what I did, climbed the ladder, pivoted my career two or three times, and evolved in ways that allowed me to pay the bills, live a great life, and even make a name for myself in a very tiny pocket of the tech world. Things looked good. Until they?didn’t.?When I realized that I never asked myself what I?really?wanted to do, it meant that I?didn’t?have an answer when I needed to reply?to that question.?And that scared the shit out of me.

I knew?that?I?didn’t?want to?go back?to working with a laptop in a tech company. I?couldn’t?stand?that idea. But what could I do? I?didn’t?really explore other (serious) alternatives to that. I tried to be a photojournalist, full-time illustrator, event organizer, and many other things during my work life, but they?didn’t?work out. And saying no to a tech salary with my financial anxiety? Good luck with that.

I was stuck, I?had no idea how to move forward.?As I make tiny meatballs and patiently sear them on the pan,?I’m?listening to videos of?food safety and storage. I’m?really enjoying this. Only 180 meatballs to go. You might be wondering why?am I?talking about meatballs?

Look, I?didn’t?want to?go back?to work as a tech worker anymore. I had no idea what to do next. I knew I?didn’t?want to touch a laptop and want to do things with my?hands,?and that I love. I want to do stuff where I see the impact of my work right in front of?me,?in real-time. I was done to?“work for the millions of users and customers”?to never see the impact of my work.

I toyed around with multiple ideas of what to do next, and opening a restaurant or a catering business was?top?of the list, right on top of becoming a tattoo artist, a comic book shop, or a full-time illustrator.

It was crucial to me to experiment with a bunch of ideas, to actually test them! Not just thinking about it. I cooked meatballs for weeks for my friends and neighbors and?was taking?orders for desserts and full-on family lunches. I enjoyed the?whole?process - research, planning, shopping, prepping, cooking, packaging, storage. But I realized the life that came with it. The harsh reality of working in the food business came through talking with people in the industry, running the numbers, and realizing that as much as I love to cook and see people wolfing down on my meatballs, there was no future for me?there. I would be burned out again. This is a passion I want for myself. Not everything we love to do needs to be a career.

I moved on from that kitchen frenzy. I own several cookbooks, my cooking skills improved massively, I can cook on a semi-industrial family scale, and my fridge is better organized than ever.?

I learned a valuable lesson about finding myself again. Experiment, experiment, experiment.?

When one is tired, fed up, exhausted, we?just?want it to go away. We want a quick change. We?don’t?want that pain any longer. But the truth is that?is?going to take a while to figure out?what’s?next for you.?It’s?easy to fall into the trap of rationally justifying our choices and taking big bets. It might work out. But often?doesn’t. I encourage you to test your assumptions,?your passions, and your?potential future before you decide to move forward.?It will save you from future pains,?and?it will?allow you to make an informed and confident decision.

Cooking hundreds of meatballs taught me the importance of experimenting,?of?giving ourselves the time to discover who we are, and to really experience with?full?body, heart, and soul. To?really?feel if we want what we want, to feel how it feels to be in that position, and to be confronted with all the sides of those possibilities - the good and the bad.

It’s?Tuesday morning.?I’m?in my home shorts and an old T-shirt. The smell of fresh coffee runs through the flat.?I’m?writing this text as a coach. I left my tech career behind 2 years ago. If it?wasn’t?for the?meatballs?I would still be trying to achieve ridiculous business?KPIs,?dictated by a headless chicken who needs to create profit for his?masters,?while losing my soul in the process.

I experimented. I found my way. And I learned how to cook some badass meatballs.

Make your order today!