How to Maximize Your Relationship Investments

Did you know that by NOT using Body Language skills, you are losing AT THE VERY LEAST 60% of your ability to connect with others?

Horrible, right!

If you are ready to get a 60% return on your relationship investments - keep reading!

Let me share a recent story of how vitally important Body Language is to the return on your relationship investments:

As I was working on my first slide deck for my first client (!!!) at a Starbucks, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a mother and adult daughter gathering. They pulled up into the two comfy chairs across from me and started their conversation. Moments later, the mother is moving her chair away from the wall where I noticed a spilled drink. We all made small talk about how this is "usually the kids"...and not an adult problem. The daughter shares a few side comments about her obvious displeasure in herself. I share a few thoughts as the Starbucks team-member cleans up - at which we all giggle and go back on our merry way.

After the clean-up had finished and the mother/daughter resumed their positions, I took a moment to carefully practice my skills of observation.

What I saw completely fascinated and saddened me. It also propels me to share the education of Body Language. The simple truth is WE CAN ALL get this 60% return on your relationship investments if we simply SLOW DOWN to take note of what we are observing.

Leaning in is a sign of interest and connection.

The mother was propped up on the front of the chair, angled over the arm of the chair at her daughter. Her legs were crossed - towards her daughter. She furthered communicated her "I want to connect with you and am excited to do so" body language by leaning towards her daughter Lastly, she also used an excited tone and pace with her voice.

Her daughter, on the other hand, had tell-tale signs of disconnection.

The daughter's body was completely snuggled way back into the chair. Not one part of her feet, torso or shoulders angled at her mom. They all faced forwards, towards the door. To boot, shortly after the conversation resumed, her legs crossed away from her mom. The ONLY PART of her body angled towards her mom, on occasion, was her head.

Continuing up the body, this daughter displayed gross signs of discomfort and displeasure by securely crossing her arms over her chest (and it wasn't cold). Her facial expressions were those of discontent, disbelief and even disgust. Not even her tone was warm and inviting when she spoke to her mom. It was short and punctuated.

Now, to the non-careful observer, one would have seen a simple, unheated, decent conversation between 2 people. It was civil and the content sounded a bit like catching up on the weekly happenings.

However, to the astute observer - one would have wondered what was going on that had one person so engaged while the other was completely closed off.

It could have been the daughter was simply feeling mad, uncomfortable and/or upset at herself for spilling her drink. She might have been reluctantly meeting with her mother out of duty more than a deep care to connect Or there could be a million other things that reasons for her cold attitude.

Regardless of what was behind the daughter's cold Body language, they BOTH missed out on a deeper possible connection. By not slowing down to read each other's body language, they both lost at LEAST 60% of their time, energy and investment in their relationship. A deficit that could very well bleed into future moments in negative ways.

THE SCIENCE BEHIND COMMUNICATION AND OUR BIG PROBLEM

While it can be difficult to accurately measure how much communication is nonverbal, in any given situation - authors Barabara and Allan Pease set out to do just that back in the 1970s and '80s. After analyzing thousands of recorded sales interviews and negotiations - they discovered that, in business encounters, body language accounts for between 60% and 80% of the impact made around a negotiating table.

Personally, I would beg that outside of business, body language is an even larger percentage of our communication. In intimate times - it accounts for 100% of communication.

Yet, here is the BIG PROBLEM: we are never taught how to read, work with and interpret the non-verbal world. We have laser focus on the verbal - which is only 40% or less of communication. We are leaving the other 60% untapped, on the table. 

I don't know about you - but I find this is HORRIBLE investment strategy.

HOW TO TURN THIS BIG PROBLEM INTO YOUR SUPER POWER

If this was your money, would you stand for a 60% loss right out of the gate? Would you ignore a 60% potential to earn more?

Said another way: can you afford to go into your next sales pitch, negotiations or important relationship conversation with only 40% of your potential?

I think not!!!

This is the exciting news: now that we KNOW there is 60% more to gain on the table...we can educate ourselves on how to use it!

Let's turn this outdated investment strategy on its head and get you that 60% return on your relationship investments.

How?

I am so glad you asked.

By building your Body Language reading "muscles".

See, science has discovered that the part of our brain that reads body language is DIFFERENT than the part of our brain that hears and interprets the verbal words.

This is an EASY fix!

Since your brain is like any other muscle in your body - we have to start working out this part of your brain to build it's awareness, functionality and stamina. Over time, the more you work this muscle, the easier it will be to "read" the body language. While today you might only be able to use 5 or 10% of this "muscle", eventually you will get to your full potential with more practice.

Practice, practice, practice might not make perfect. But it sure does build "muscle memory" and help you gain more return on your relationship investments!

Are ready to get that 60% return on your relationship investments?

Here are a few ways to awaken your Body Language Muscles:

• We can work together 1-on-1, through small groups or by brining me into your office or next team building day!
• Take online courses to get the skills & tools to awaken your Body Language Muscles
• Check out my Meet-up page to see if there is one local to your area.
• Join our community to receive free tools & tips straight to your inbox!

Reach out to me today!