How Many Times Do We Need to Forget Before We Remember?

It’s Sunday morning, and you’re full of ambition.

You’ve signed up for a new course. It's a recommended course that is promising to change your life. And you need a new beginning, you feel a bit stuck or bored, or both.

You feel energized, proud of your newfound determination. The course feels almost miraculous, new ideas, new information, new people. Everything is fresh, exciting, full of promise. This time, you're convinced, things will be different. But by Thursday, half of what you learned has already slipped away. And the first time you're faced with a challenge, you react just the same as you always have.

Sound familiar?

This cycle of enthusiasm followed by rapid forgetfulness is one we’ve all experienced, and it’s a product of how our brains are wired.

The question is, why does this happen? More importantly, how can we harness a deeper understanding of how our brains learn and remember in order to change habits and retain information longer?

The process of learning, absorbing information, making connections, and applying knowledge is a complex one.

Neuroscientists have spent decades trying to understand exactly how our brain encodes, stores, and retrieves information. At the center of this investigation is the delicate balance between learning and forgetting.

Forgetting isn’t just a failure of memory; it’s an essential part of brain function. We need to forget some things to make room for new information. The phenomenon is like clearing out the clutter in a closet, if we kept everything, there’d be no space for new clothes. But forgetting also becomes a problem when the information we want to keep slips through the cracks.

Research suggests that our brains are designed to filter out non-essential information. That’s why we often forget things that seem crucial at the moment but are later deemed unnecessary for survival.

The good news is that mastering this process is in our power; however, it requires an understanding of how the brain operates on both conscious and unconscious levels.

Much of what we do in a day, nearly 95% is driven by habits, automatic behaviors that allow our brains to conserve energy. This means that much of our daily behavior is automatic, shaped by past experiences rather than conscious decisions.

Habits are ingrained in a structure deep within the brain, responsible for controlling movement and habitual behaviors. The brain loves habits because they reduce cognitive load, freeing it to focus on other things.

However, this efficiency comes at a cost. The downside is that these routines, both good and bad, are hardwired, and once established, can be difficult to change.

Breaking free from an old habit or learning something new often feels like fighting an uphill battle because, neurologically speaking, it is!

But we do have hope! neuroplasticity, the brain’s ability to rewire itself in response to learning means our brain isn’t static. It can create new pathways and connections, but doing so requires intentional effort and understanding of how memory and learning operate.

Memory is often likened to a computer. You input data, store it on a hard drive, and later retrieve it when needed. But in the brain, things are a bit more complicated. it's divided into three key processes: encoding, storage, and retrieval.

Encoding: This is how we process information and transform it into a format the brain can understand and store. Attention plays a crucial role in encoding, which explains why multitasking often leads to shallow learning.

Storage: After encoding, information is stored in different parts of the brain. Short-term memories are stored in the prefrontal cortex, while long-term memories move to the hippocampus. And here is the important part, if a memory isn’t consolidated (strengthened and moved into long-term storage), it’s likely to be forgotten.

Retrieval: This is the process of recalling stored information. The more frequently we retrieve a piece of information, the stronger its neural connections become.

So why do we often forget what we’ve just learned? The answer lies in a combination of our brain’s natural forgetfulness and, ironically, our reliance on habits.

Once we’re outside the structured learning environment, like those first few exciting days of the course, the brain defaults back to its comfortable routines, pushing new learning aside.

Luckily, we now have some answers for how to override this forgetfulness:

Spaced Repetition: The more you retrieve information over spaced intervals, the less likely you are to forget it. This technique forces your brain to recall information repeatedly, strengthening neural pathways.

Active Learning: Instead of passively reviewing notes or reading, engage with the material through discussion, teaching others, or applying knowledge to new situations.

Interleaving: Rather than focusing on one subject or skill for a long period, switch between topics or activities. This forces your brain to continuously adapt and prevents the “autopilot” mode from kicking in.

Mindful Focus: The prefrontal cortex is responsible for attention, planning, and awareness. Focusing attention while learning ensures that the brain is fully engaged in the encoding process. Mindfulness practices, such as meditation, have been shown to improve focus and cognitive function.

The more we operate with conscious awareness, the less likely we are to fall into old routines. When you’re aware that your brain is trying to revert to a habit, you can interrupt the process and choose a different course of action. This awareness, coupled with deliberate practice, rewires the brain over time.

Knowing Ourselves to Break Free from Ourselves

The beauty of this insight is that we have far more control over our learning, memory, and habits than we often realize. By understanding how our brain learns, stores, and retrieves information, we can take deliberate steps to retain knowledge longer, break old habits, and create lasting change.

It begins with awareness - knowing when you’re on autopilot and making a conscious effort to override those automatic behaviors. It continues with deliberate, structured practice: spaced repetition, active learning, and interleaving, all tailored to how your brain naturally operates.

In the end, by knowing ourselves better, by understanding how our brains work, we unlock the potential to live better. It’s a process of continual growth, learning, and self-awareness, allowing us to reshape our habits, retain knowledge, and ultimately lead more fulfilling lives.

As Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett, a leading researcher in affective neuroscience, puts it: "Your brain is not a static organ; it is sculpted by your thoughts, emotions, and actions."

Perhaps the greatest takeaway from this is that by consciously shaping how we think and behave, we shape our future.

Now, the question is - knowing how your brain works, what will you choose to remember?