How Managers Can Support Staff Through Personal Trauma and Breakups

As a manager, you’re often seen as the first line of support when your staff face personal challenges, such as trauma or a breakup. These issues don’t just stay at home—they inevitably impact performance, productivity, and overall team dynamics. While it's not always easy to know how to respond, offering the right kind of support can make a significant difference to both the individual and your organization as a whole.

Here’s how you, as a manager, can help guide your staff through tough personal times while maintaining a positive work environment.

1. Be Compassionate and Acknowledge the Issue

It’s important to recognize that when an employee is going through personal difficulties, they may not be at their best. A simple, compassionate acknowledgment of what they are dealing with can go a long way. Without prying into personal details, expressing concern and offering a listening ear in a private setting can help the employee feel valued.

Statements like, "I’ve noticed you seem to be struggling lately. If you ever want to talk or need any support, I’m here to listen," open the door for them to seek help without feeling pressured.

2. Promote the Use of EAP Services

Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) exist to support staff during difficult times, and as a manager, it’s crucial to remind your team of the resources available. Often, employees may not know the full extent of the support EAP services provide, or they may fear that using these services could jeopardize their privacy. Assure them that EAP counseling is confidential and separate from HR, and encourage its use as a way to process personal challenges with professional guidance.

3. Offer Flexibility Where Possible

Personal trauma and emotional distress can affect concentration, motivation, and performance. Offering temporary adjustments such as flexible working hours, work-from-home options, or reduced workloads can help ease the burden during their recovery. This flexibility allows the employee to manage their personal life without the added pressure of performing at their usual capacity.

Flexibility also sends a message that you value their well-being and are willing to work with them through tough times rather than expecting them to "power through."

4. Foster an Open, Supportive Work Environment

Building a workplace culture where mental health is openly discussed and support is encouraged can make it easier for employees to come forward when they need help. Ensure that your team understands that it’s okay to seek support and that struggling with personal issues doesn’t reflect poorly on them as professionals.

Holding regular check-ins with your staff and creating space for open dialogue about well-being can help normalize conversations around mental health.

5. Set Boundaries and Respect Privacy

While it's essential to offer support, it’s equally important to respect an employee’s privacy. Avoid pressing for details about their personal situation unless they choose to share them. Establish clear boundaries so they feel comfortable knowing that your primary focus is their well-being and professional support, not delving into their private matters.

6. Watch for Signs of Burnout or Withdrawal

Employees who are going through personal trauma may show signs of withdrawal, burnout, or disengagement at work. Watch for changes in behavior, such as a drop in performance, increased absenteeism, or signs of emotional distress. In such cases, it’s essential to check in with the employee and offer help rather than penalize or ignore the behavior.

Your proactive approach can prevent the situation from escalating and ensure that your team member gets the help they need early on.

A Balanced Approach

Supporting staff through personal trauma or breakups is about finding a balance between empathy and professional responsibility. Your role as a manager isn’t to solve their personal issues but to create an environment where they feel safe, supported, and encouraged to use the resources available—such as EAP services—to regain their footing.

By taking these steps, you not only help your employees recover more effectively but also foster a workplace culture of resilience, trust, and mutual respect.