HOW TO MANAGE YOUR ANGER IN THE WORKPLACE

We all know the feeling of ‘anger’; we all have felt it at some point or the other. Whether it was projected in bursts of loud, relentless arguments, or it was a short-lived moment of annoyance - we all know how unpleasant it feels when something triggers the mercury level within.

Frankly, there is absolutely no relationship, personal and even professional, that progresses without a few arguments. Even the healthiest relationships, be it that of colleagues, team members, or any other form of professional relationship - all have a little bit of anger sprinkled in. Mostly, the frustration is well-placed & seemingly justified.?However, what is out of alignment is the disrespect in that expression of frustration. A wrong phrase, an eye roll, a single act of banging the door or stomping the foot has the power to completely ruin relationships that most people work so hard to build in the office. As a result, learning how to express your anger becomes extremely important.

What we don’t care about when we are angry usually bites us when it matters the most. Those who are always in the habit of being stressed & getting angry tend to develop health issues at a very early age. Mental or emotional issues such as anger & anxiety can lead to so many serious issues like high blood pressure, undetected cardiac issues in adulthood, in addition to impaired professional relationships and a stressed life.

HOW TO OVERCOME FEELING HELPLESS WHEN ANGRY?

Many times, we simply overlook the root cause of our anger. We feel, we react and then we just move on. But anger can’t be dealt with anger. The only way you can deal with anger issues be it with your colleagues or juniors is with logic, understanding, love, and trust.?Ask anyone who loses their temper, are they happy to be angry? No. Anger often ends with regret or frustration.

The core strategy of how to deal with anger is to know the cause and source of it. Your ability and maturity to display such traits during tough times are what helps you cope with this very natural emotion in a healthy manner. Being mature has nothing to do with age. Once you learn how to express your anger rightly, your ability to handle younger and older people with different mindsets at the workplace with calm and composure will marvel you.

Think about all the things you have said or heard during an argument. There would be a lot of things you wish you could take back. Things you wish you knew in that very moment so you could take a step back and ‘think’ before you ‘react’. In a moment of rage, it is human to lose control over our actions. The only way to overcome this, like any other skill in the world, is practice. Work on your anger management skills, take baby steps and ensure to get better with every outburst of frustration, until you become that person in the room who always knows how to maintain their calm even when everyone else appears to be losing it.

HOW TO EXPRESS ANGER CONSTRUCTIVELY

To overcome that helpless feeling & avoid saying things that you may look back to regret later, follow these 6 steps:

• Avoid confrontations & talk it out healthily

When you feel like you are about to lose your temper, the first thing to do is to take?‘SPACE’ for yourself. Think things through before acting on them. Ask yourself where your reaction is coming from. What is the other person trying to say? Are you wrongly directing your anger at them? Is the other person possibly misdirecting their frustration? After answering all this, ‘TALK’?about it a little later when you are calmer.?

Approach them with calmness and composure and sort things out. Avoid using the word ‘anger’, in your conversation. Let them explain their feelings calmly while you listen carefully. If while talking, you see them getting aggressive, just assure them that you are there to listen. Take your time but talk with calm. Let people share things about you they don’t appreciate, then you share the same without outburst or frustration.

When you do this, you will be surprised to learn that things that make either of you unhappy can be talked about and discussed in an optimistic manner without the need to get aggressive and frustrated.?

• Use rationale

From the point of acting with calm and composure, while you are taking space and thinking by yourself or even talking it out, you need to ask yourself the question, “Am I looking at the situation rationally, or am I completely blinded by my emotions right now?”. It is fine to be overwhelmed with emotions at times. But when that happens, you need to take a step back until you can look at things with more reasoning. It’s all about asking the right question.

Moreover, if you are in a senior position and have teams working under you, note that your team members tend to replicate you, even when you’re not around. Your anger management skills are no exception. When you exhibit that you can handle situations that cause you frustration and anger with calm, it leaves a positive impact on the team and demonstrates to them how they should deal with similar situations.?When you do what you preach, not only do people listen to you better, they also respect you a whole lot more.

• Walk away instead of saying something regrettable

Many people assume that walking away from a situation is for the weak. But the fact is, it takes a lot more strength, control and courage to walk away. Stepping away from a situation that is causing you to get angry can go a really long way in preventing unpleasant situations. Always remember: not all battles are worth fighting.?

Better give them the pain of you walking away, than making them remember words you wish you never ever spoke. Understanding the importance of walking away from certain situations helps you prioritize composure over harsh words.?Remember that no matter the situation you always have a choice and it’s that choice that will define you in the future. Additionally, learning the art of walking away from situations that bother you is incredibly liberating. It makes people feel less trapped in the situation.

• Use healthy coping mechanisms

In many cases, all you need is to do is let off some steam. Weeks of long working hours, stress, not taking enough breaks or all of the above that could eventually lead to angry outbursts. Don’t blame yourself for needing time off, you’re only human. Instead find healthy ways to let off steam without hurting yourself or other people in the process.?

Engage in art forms such as pottery, coloring or painting, playing or listening to music, dancing, taking a walk, practicing a sport and the like. These activities might sound simple but their impact is far reaching. Letting people around you know that you are not in the space of dealing with your colleagues/team members and you need cooling time is a much healthier way of dealing with issues that impact us emotionally.?

This also helps you to learn more about yourself, introspect and even grow and evolve as a mature human being. Divert your negative, frustrated energy and anger issues in positive artistic places or just write in your journal.

• Lighten up the situation

A significant difference between those who manage their anger well and everyone else is their ability to take control and change the atmosphere of the room in the blink of an eye. Even when you are in an argument yourself and you want to be the one to take things a notch down then this step might help.?When you find someone in the middle of an emotional breakdown, try adding some humor and cracking some jokes.?

However, find fun in the situation and not the person.?Try to recall similar incidents that happened with you in the past and you ended up being embarrassed and laugh it off. If you are in a senior position, your juniors & team members look up to you and if they see you making light of even the toughest situations, they will learn the art of 'taking it easy' as they work with double zeal to achieve the tasks.

• Be empathetic

A rough situation can always be defused by showing that you care. There is nothing in this world that showing belief in an individual or appreciation cannot fix. These simple steps of showing that you respect & value their presence & contribution towards achieving goals go a long way in making everybody feel valued & appreciated.

At the end of the day, anger destroys professional (and personal) relationships, but being empathetic mends it and strengthens it so that even when you move onto better career opportunities, you know that all along the way, you have established lasting professional relationships with former colleagues, team members & superiors.

CONCLUSION

Getting angry is a normal human emotion and it is unreasonable to expect one to completely get rid of their anger. Even the most evolved professionals can sometimes have emotional breakdowns.

We can’t control the numerous events that we go through in life. However, how we respond (and not react) to these situations and how much we choose to work on our anger management is what makes all the difference. Becoming self aware can make you dig deep into the source of your anger and deal with situations much more healthily.

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