How To Manage Rude People

Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who is "rude"? Do you dread meeting with one?

I've encountered a few and you can tell when a) they cut in while you're speaking b) they assume they know it all c) they lord their views on others d) they never apologize when wrong e)it's always about their interest f) their voice must be the loudest in the room or the final one. So, what is the best way to manage rude people?

Here are five practical tips, I'd love to hear yours:

·        Be prepared for a tough conversation: If you know the person is generally perceived as rude, you’ve got to set yourself in the right mood before having the discussion. This way, nothing comes as a surprise and you are in control of the situation. Develop a tactic on how to engage without arousing the negativity. Be factual. Use open-ended questions to dig into the details and make an excuse for the person’s attitude upfront.

·        What are their triggers?: Every attitude has a story behind it. So before you judge, listen. Don't just listen to what's being said. Try and see through what is not being said. Empathize. Why are they being rude? Is there something else going on that you are not aware of? Is it a one-time behavior or is there a trend? Are you the only one who experiences this behavior? Are they just having a bad day? Digging deeper beyond the expressions you see can give you a perspective on how to manage the situation.

·        Choose Your Battles: Don't take it personal. There are some things not worth fretting over. Depending on the interaction, you can choose whether to let it go, when to be silent and when to speak. Assess the situation and decide the appropriate response. Taking a few seconds to decide what to do empowers you and sets you above the situation.

·        Respond vs. React: We communicate beyond words. Tone of voice and body language speak louder than words. When confronted with a negative tone and body language, do not reciprocate automatically. In the end, soft always wins over harsh! Control the tone of your voice. Speak slowly and in a softer tone to neutralize the atmosphere but don't compromise on the quality of the discussion while doing so. You can still be assertive, speak firmly, and get your thoughts across without flaring up. Controlling your emotions takes lots of practice so practice breathing techniques that can help you manage the situation. Then practice, practice, practice. You'll feel great afterwards.

·  Call Attention to It: Don't shy away from confronting unacceptable behavior. Sometimes, a rude person doesn't even know he or she is displaying such behavior. So, if you tolerate it every time you are also passively encouraging it. Find the right moment to give the feedback but do so in a constructive and timely manner. Cite a specific example to help the person relate. Be firm but remember to address the behavior and not the person.

 How else have you managed a difficult conversation with someone's who's rude and does not even know it? Leave a comment.

Mofoluwaso Ilevbare (Fofo), GPHR.

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