How to manage the "odd one" in a team?

It is not uncommon when I work with a leader and their team that at some point during the preparation stage, they say something along the lines of "I am a bit worried about how Mike will take this on board.", "You will probably notice that Susan has a bit of a difficult relationship with the rest of the team", or "Jerry is always a bit negative and brings the mood down".

You have probably experienced a team before where there was this one person that was a bit different from the rest.

Or maybe you have managed a group before, and there was this one person that you found challenging to manage.?

Don't worry, this is normal.

Teams are complex. They are made up of individuals with different values, good and bad experiences, expectations, backgrounds, and ways of working.

We are all so different, and not everyone is gonna become best friends on a team.

And I don't believe we are supposed to.

But what I do believe is that there is power in our differences.?

That even the people that you feel irritated by, have the potential to be great partners in a project or on a team.?

What it comes down to is taking the time to really understand why they do what they do? What shapes their thinking and actions? What motivates them? What drives them?

Let me share an example.?

Several years ago, I worked with a team of managers as part of a strengths development project. Each team member completed their CliftonStrengths assessment had a 1:1 coaching session with me, and then came together for a team workshop.?

Before I started the work, I was warned about this one person who might be difficult to manage. He had been in the business for a long time. He was described as stubborn and difficult to talk to.

Without going into too much detail here, I wanna share a bit of the outcome of the team development work.?

The positive intent of the strengths-development angle helped the person stay open and receptive to the exercises.

And in addition, the team members and manager were able to look at this person and everyone else through a new lens, a strengths lens. They started to see this person's tremendous value for the team based on his knowledge and experience. They started to see that the "stubbornness" was not a reluctance to change but came from a place of concern and motivation to create the best outcome.

Because people's talents constantly influence their interactions, decisions and activities, it is not uncommon for others to misread them, especially when they have different strengths.

People can even have negative misperceptions of a strength when it is not intentionally used or even overused.?

This can lead to others devaluing a person's strengths and actions and even judging or labelling them as the "difficult one".

Consequently, the individual might disconnect from the group and retract themselves even more.?

What you can do to help yourself bring the team closer together and grow relationships is to help people become more aware of their own and everyone else's talents. Help them see the value they each bring and learn to appreciate the strengths the others bring to the team.?

The differences are their advantage as a team.

They don't have to become friends, but they can learn to lead with positive intent and appreciate one another. They can learn to adapt their communication and collaboration to play to each other's strengths.

A strengths-based team is a group of imperfect but talented contributors who are valued for their strengths and have learned how to work together to realise their goals.

And don't forget, the "difficult" one is often just the person that is misunderstood and not seen for their strengths.

As a leader, I invite you to challenge yourself to look at them through a different lens and focus on what is right with them instead of what is wrong.

_______

If you would like support to bring your team closer together or understand how to see everyone for their strengths and what they contribute, then reach out whenever you feel ready.

I can support you with a strength-based team development approach.

Together we can develop strategies for you to manage every team member effectively (even the tricky ones) and support your team in building stronger relationships.