How to manage irritating colleague at workplace?

I meet my friend Renu after longtime. "Hey Renu I saw your FB update regarding joining new company. How is it going on? " I asked Renu excitedly.

Renu kept on looking at the coffee mug in her hand, took a long breath in and replied with smile, "Everything is perfect except that pathetic girl Nisha."

Her facial expression said everything. Out of concern I asked her, "What happened?"

"Nothing this stupid girl sits next to me and keep on doing time-paas. Half of her time goes on YouTube. After that she needs to talk to her mother who is in her hometown. I mean this is too much. You tell me who talks to mother for hours in office man? And the worst part is she is our customers favorite and I work so hard still there 2 - 3 complaints get reported in a month. I feel like talking to my boss and telling him how unprofessional she is. Just imagin have to face her 10 hours. It is too much I cant take it anymore."

Renu continued and said, "You tell me how should I tell my boss?"

This kind of situations we face every now and then. It can be frustrating too. Basically you find Nisha's habits irritating and you want your boss to solve it. Think again.

Before approaching your boss think is there any other way to deal with your frustration over Nisha’s work habits, and that is to use this situation as a learning experience for yourself. Also think if you complain about Nisha how will your boss take it? Because if the customers are happy and she is able to perform and that is reason she is there.

This is a time for self introspection. I asked Renue to question herself, “why does Nisha’s different work style irritate me so much? Why do I want her to perform her job the way I want?”

Ask yourself, “ Can I speak to her directly? About her phone calls and tell her that my work is affecting on one on one? or can I become Nisha’s friend? "

This is tough but not impossible. Pause and reflect. How other's way of working or their behaviour is affecting you?

When it comes to managing difficult colleague ( he/she is difficult according to you) we tend to get anxious and our emotional trigger becomes their typical behavior.

Take it as a challenge and try to resolve the problem. Through such kinds of experiences your people management and interpersonal skill grows. Because changing a company is not the solution since there is a possibility of bumping on another Nisha. Because your problem is not Nisha but the behavior which these kind of personalities exhibits and your mind gets hijacked . Introspection is an insightful technique to work on your emotional intelligence it helps you to become aware about self emotions and result in achieving self regulation and to become empathetic.

Author: Dr Aparna Sethi

The Author of this article conducts workshops/ corporate training programs on Emotional Intelligence / Inter personal skills and Diversity and Inclusion. Do call on 88 0000 3366 for more details.