How To Manage Imposter Syndrome In Midlife

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This is The Midlife Male Newsletter where each Sunday I share my thoughts for the week, a new episode of the podcast and a recommendation from each of my 6F's?(Family, Fitness, Finance, Food, Fashion & Fun!)?designed to help you maximize middle age.

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In Health - G?

Alright...Here we go?

How To Deal With Imposter Syndrome In Midlife?

Struggling with imposter syndrome is nothing new for me.??

When I was in my 20’s I was Harvey Weinstein’s Executive Assistant. I told him to f-off 20 years before the #MeToo movement and still went on to produce two successful films…But, I never quite felt like I belonged in “The Biz” and was always comparing myself to the movers & shakers around me.

In my 30’s I built an award winning sports DVD business for children that held licenses with the NBA, NCAA, MLB and NASCAR and produced over 50 titles. It was called Team Baby Entertainment. Former Disney Chairman Michael Eisner acquired that business…

I was chasing all the things I thought I was supposed to and had big goals; entrepreneurship, a fat paycheck, family, house, status and pretty quickly I had it “all” and yet I felt like the outsider and not worthy of the private plane trips, stays at “Michael’s homes”, hanging out and recording videos with A-List celebrities.?

I didn’t do a very good job of handling it and ended up in a pretty dark place.?

In my 40’s, I transitioned from risk-taker to risk manager and became a multimillion-dollar producer and partner with one of the largest insurance firms in the United States which was acquired in December 2020 for my second exit.?

Nobody understood that move at the time and to an extent I didn’t either…And, if I’m truly being honest, I always felt like an imposter there.?Like all of my partners were more committed, aligned and sure of themselves and their careers than I was.?And while I was “pretty good” at it, they were much better at it because they were real and I was the fake.?

Now, here’s the problem…

I’ve had some success, more than a few failures and here I am at almost 50 trying something new.??

Can I really do this??

Is it even possible??

Can you relate?

And that’s when the inner critic creeps in.??

Watch out for this MF’er!?Watch out for what you’re telling yourself.?

Imposter syndrome rears its head when we’re vulnerable, uncomfortable and in “The middle”. That’s where things get messy. And let’s be real here, midlife is an uncomfortable time for men where we start to question pretty much everything.?

I listen to other podcasts and think they’re better than mine.?

I read other newsletters and don’t feel mine is as well done.?

I see “best selling” in front of other authors' names and doubt if I'll sell enough books to earn that distinction.

I watch other speakers and I’m like?“wow, that guy blows me off the stage”.

I browse other coaches and thought leaders websites and tell myself that their message is much tighter and more on point than my own.?

But here’s the thing.

None of that is true.?(well maybe some of it's true, there's some pretty awesome stuff being done out there...)

There’s room for ALL of us to be awesome and to experience success…Me, you, everyone.??

And quite frankly, no matter how much it sucks to let those thoughts, insecurities and doubts get in my head, I won’t allow any one of them to stop me.?Not now, not ever.?

And neither should you. No matter what it is you’re working on.

There will always be someone doing what it is that you’re doing or that you want to do that’s way out ahead. Absolutely crushing it…

And that’s where the comparison comes in.??

It’s when we compare ourselves to someone or something else, that we miss out on all we have to offer.

Kate reminded me the other night, somewhat sarcastically?(I think she was insinuating that “enough is enough” and hey, keep all this maximizing middle age s*&t in perspective big guy…)?of what I’ve done this year:

Wrote a book, hit 200 podcasts and 200 newsletters, gained over 15,000 followers, listeners, subscribers, built a mid six figure coaching practice, wrote a 60 minute keynote and launched a speaking business, got in the best shape of your life, competed at hyrox, dekafit and climbed 29029 vertical feet, took our son to college and stayed married…

"Overachieving Syndrome is more like it”....(She's sweet like that)?

It helped. But I also know that this feeling will return.?

Here are 3 Lessons I’ve learned that help me manage Imposter Syndrome:

• ?It’s not that you’re not “there”, you’re just not there YET!?I remind myself that all they’ve done is gotten a head start.?Just keep moving forward. There’ll always be people both ahead and behind you.??
• It doesn’t matter when you get there, it only matters that you get there.?Run your own race.?Every time I've tried to speed up, catch up or keep up..I cramp up. Pace yourself.?At 29029 we all got the same red hat at the top of the mountain.?Didn’t matter who got there first.?
• Everyone is a beginner at something.??When I went to my first Impact 11 keynote speaker bootcamp, I was petrified that everyone in the room was a pro.?They were!?Just not at keynote speaking. And that's why they were there. I sat next to the former police chief of Aurora, IL, the creator of Shazaam, a submarine commander and a guy who has his own lab at Harvard! Why were they all there??To learn something new!??

We all have the ability to do great things.?

It’s natural to feel like an imposter at times.??

Embrace it and learn to use it to maximize your success, not hinder it.

In Health -

G

Teddi Dean grew up immersed in Southern California’s surf and skateboard culture. As a teenager, he toured the country with the Vans skateboard team and became part of the legendary Powell and Peralta Bones Brigade. Later, Teddi branched into film-making,?and although he struggled with alcohol addiction and anxiety along the way, he found contentment in the teachings of the Buddha and the practice of meditation. Today, Teddi is a respected yoga and meditation teacher who leads classes in mindfulness and meditation at the Modern Elder Academy in Baja.?

Listen out for Teddi’s thoughts on;

Meditation

Just start with what you can do. Start with five minutes a day, but stick with it, and weave it into your daily life, like taking a shower or preparing food. And don’t make it too dramatic; just do it because that’s when the magic starts.

Breathwork

The breath is the best teacher. It tells us immediately whether we’re in line with our own natural rhythm or not. And even when we have to deal with something stressful, we can use our breath to bring us back to the moment so we can deal with whatever triggered us much more skillfully.

Letting go of busyness

We don’t have a proper perspective on busyness because everyone around us is just as busy as we are. Busyness is the norm, so we worry about what people will think if we say we’ve been sitting around meditating or practicing the lost art of non-doing.

Contentment

We don’t have a right to pure bliss and happiness in this life. But, if we’re really awake, we do have a right to some sort of contentment. And that stillness is always available to us. We can access it anywhere, even in the middle of Times Square on New Year’s Eve.

Middle age

Midlife is a really juicy time of life. We’re in a constant state of becoming. And who and what we were ten years ago is very different from who and what we are now. So we need to understand that and give ourselves the space to be surprised by ourselves.?

Get in touch with Teddi;

Teddi's Website

Teddi's Instagram

Mindfulness of Ageing Workshop, September 16-18,?Village Yoga, Sedona

Modern Elder Academy

Links from Episode:

Greg's book; The Midlife Male: A No-Bullshit Guide to Living Better, Longer, Happier, Healthier, and Wealthier and Having More Fun in Your 40s and 50s (Which Includes More Sex ... and What Guy Doesn't Want That?)

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6F's 1 Goal...Maximize Middle Age

My perspective on work & life for the Midlife Male is simple. We all are navigating 6F’s—Family, Fitness, Finance, Food, Fashion, and Fun—Each week I'll give you ONE recommendation from each to help you design the life you want by turning your F’s to A’s.

Family?-?The internet can be an overwhelming place, especially for a parent with fast-growing, internet-able children. It’s tempting to want to lock your child in a digital-free bubble through their formative years, shielding them from all the invisible threats that lurk behind their screens...Read more?HERE ?from Fatherly.?

Fitness?-?I can't stand going into the gym without a plan. I also can't stand planning...So, I use LADDER.?Get stronger and workout more without planning workouts. This app has some of the top trainers and programming out there and it's super easy to use, integrates with my apple watch, I can use it anywhere whether i'm in my garage gym, on the road and even outdoors with no equipment.?It's also easy to modify workouts based on my needs.?Lastly, it's cost effective and great value. Click?HERE? to learn more.??

Finance?-??If you’ve ditched your Honda for a Ferrari, or quit your job to buy an RV and tour Canada, you may be living your best life, or you could be having a mid-life crisis... Triggered by extra income as the kids move out — or, more recently, the need to have more fun after pandemic uncertainties — some people opt to splurge on non-essentials, even at the cost of future retirement plans or investment goals...You're gonna want to read more?HERE.?

Food?-?Unfortunately, as you get older, your metabolism has the tendency to take a vacation, grinding to a screeching halt and making it feel like?weight gain ?and a?bloated belly ?are inevitable conclusions. Research suggests that testosterone levels tend to decline as you round the corner toward middle age, taking your metabolism along for the ride.?HERE? are 40 tips for men who want to lose weight after 40.?

Fashion?-?I'm obsessed with the James Perse linen pants I just got.?These?Lightweight Linen Garment Dyed Pants are made in a classic, lightweight linen that is breathable and soft. Style details include an elasticized waistband with drawcord, slash pockets and back patch pockets. Relaxed, easy fit.?Check them out?HERE.?

Fun?- I had a really fun Saturday yesterday and there was nothing "special" about it. Too often we think that "fun" has to be an "experience".?What if we focused on simply enjoying the simple things we enjoy doing? Slept in a bit and cuddled with Harper, took the dogs for a walk, knocked out a quick workout and then gave them a bath, enjoyed a nice cold plunge, went out for fajitas for lunch and now I GET to write this newsletter.?Whatever you choose, have a fun today!?

ABOUT?GREG:

I help men maximize middle age.?Through one-on-one coaching and a weekly kick ass podcast and newsletter, I challenge men in their 30s through 50s to live better, happier, healthier, and stronger.?And I advise, consult, and invest in brands that aspire to the same.?I'm also an author, keynote speaker and entrepreneur.?

Interested in working with me??Let's set up a call! Click HERE!?