How making small changes to your mindset can improve performance.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot over the past few weeks and how my mind has been shifting in the last couple of months in reaction to various events. I’ve been observing what happens when things go right and wrong, when I feel strong and capable or when I feel overwhelmed and completely useless. My thoughts all came together this week as I watched and observed my son playing rugby festival this week.

I watched his team go into their first match, I could see they were hesitant and cautious. They were their best player down, the opposition was one of the best teams in the festival and they knew it. The opposition were strong from the get go, scored a tri almost instantly and commanded the entire game. Our boys had their heads hung low each time a try was scored and they frustrated and weren’t enthused as a team. The parents on the sidelines were finding the loss hard and were saying how happy they are when they are winning.

Match two was looming, their coach chatted to them and they headed across to the next pitch. As we walked across I went to chat to them (I still have a tiny bit of cool status for rowing the ocean and so I’m not a complete embarrassment to my son in front of his friends). I shared with them all the great moves, passes and team work I had observed in the first game (I’m not entirely clued up on rugby) and that despite not having their best player on the field, I could see how hard they were working to compensate. I asked them who they were playing next and what they thought they could do in this match to give them a run for their money. They all chimed ‘work together’ and ‘communicate’. I shared with them as parents how proud of them we are and that we believe in them. They started their match in a different frame of mind. Heads up, determined and focused. Needless to say, they won and went on to play some great rugby in the rest of the festival. I asked my son on the way home if he felt differently going into the first match as he did the second. He said, well they are really good, we’ve already lost a few times to them and we were missing our best player. When I asked about the second match, he said, well we’ve beaten them before and we knew we could do it again.

With lots of cheering and positive vibes from the sidelines, they grew in confidence over the matches. A win in the second match and then dominance of the third until a small mistake cost them the game in the last 10 seconds. There were tears from one player who thought it was his fault. Only just back from injury, I asked the team if they were happy he was back on the team and they all said yes and how greatly he had been playing. Reminding them once again about how well they had come together in that game and pointing out some of the great passes and fancy work and one child who rarely scores making a try between the posts. More smiles and enthusiasm for the final match, albeit cold, tired and hungry at this stage. Final match an early score lifted their spirits, shortly followed by three more try’s across the line. The referee keen his team doesn’t leave without a final score continues the game. A questionable decision at the end to allow the opposition a try but the result, a win for my sons team but a happy opposition leaving having lost but with a morale boost having succeeded in getting the last try of the match.

So what were the outcome and learnings? Was it ability, mindset, inter match pep talk or a combination of all three which changed things around?

The ability and skill of the team improved throughout the game. Before the first match they hadn’t quite worked out how they would look to replace that missing ‘star player’ and who within the team would have to step into his role. Not just the position within the team but what he also brings to the team in terms of morale, direction and skill. They had let these overriding thoughts of being on the back foot dominate their performance. By the second match, they had clocked this and by the last, they knew where and what they all had to do. Learning to be agile, prepared to adapt and approaching with a mindset of, 'whatever comes by way which is unexpected, I will eventually find a way through'.

The mindset for the first match was already defeatist before they stepped on the field. Not discussed as a team but individually the self doubt was there. It’s well versed that athletes performance is reduced even with the smallest amount of self doubt and this was evident in their hesitancy. If you don’t believe you can, it’s unlikely you will. So what can you do? Simply tell yourself you can and believing I could was the hardest part. . My mantra which took me from having never having stepped in a rowing boat to rowing across the Pacific Ocean and picking up a World Record was saying 'I can, I will' every time something difficult crossed by path.

And as for the pep talk, well we know it can boost confidence, morale and uplift others, so maybe a few words of encouragement here and there helps from time to time. Not only the boost in the moment but also the lasting impact of self empowerment and confidence you have given others.

In short, if believe you can, you most likely will. My favourite mantra many of you have heard me speak of before is repeatedly telling myself “I can, I will”. I say this out loud regularly when the internal voices tell me ‘I can’t’. Lift others up, encourage them. Not only does it make them feel better about themselves but makes you feel good too. Another of my favourite topics, the power of the ripple effect of kindness.

Px