How to make your kid successful

I don't pretend to know everything, but what I know, I like to share.

And I know a big worry of every parent is: 

"How do I ensure my child's success?" 

Here's an idea that is simple, yet powerful. 

It concerns the way in which we talk to ourselves.

We all have "self talk radio" that is constantly running in the background.

One of the things it says over and over is:

“What’s in it for me?”

This underlying question is running in almost everyone's minds.  

It’s very common.

If someone invites you somewhere, or makes you an offer, the question fires:

"What's in it for me?"

A new opportunity arises, and there it goes again.

"What's in it for me?"

And why is this question a problem?

Because this question reveals a mindset of lack.

“Gimme, gimme, gimme.”

“Take, take, take.”

It’s the voice of the ego based on fear, insecurity, and a lack of abundance.

It’s victim thinking, not a hero. 

Poverty Thinking

I experienced this growing up.

 It was like life was an all you can eat buffet.

But “You better get your money’s worth.”

It’s why cruise ship guests put on their “buffet pants.”

Or the advice of some who say, “don’t fill your plate with the cheap stuff, grab the good stuff.”

Now, what if we could shift this to the opposite?

What if we could change the question?

Not

“What’s in it for me?”

But rather

“How can I help?”

By asking this new question, there is an assumption of abundance. This question assumes you have the power, capacity, and ability to help. It’s a powerful question. You are tapping into your true gifts. It comes from a deeply spiritual place, not your ego. There is more than enough to share.

We’ve all had ups and downs in our lives. I personally experienced many magical miracles. And then flipped to complete despair.

What I’ve noticed is that in times of despair the presence of the first question and absence of the latter. Mindset is the key.

So what is mindset?

A mentor of mine recently gave me an amazingly simple definition:

“Mindset is the voice(s) in your head.”

That’s so true. I hear my parents, teachers, and even people I don’t care for speaking in my head. 

Who put these voices in our heads?

These voices get installed automatically throughout life. Parents. Teachers. Relatives. Caregivers. Friends. Facebook. The media…

The thing is, unless you are aware, you are being programmed all the time. If you let it wash over you daily without consciousness, you are installing these voices. The prevailing mindset of lack, poverty, and despair.

Reboot

The good news is, you can reinstall new voices. It’s like upgrading your internal operating system to the latest, greatest version. You choose your own voice.

My son Alejandro is now a freshman in college. 18 years old. He is full of hope, optimism and has bright plans for the future. This makes me feel so full of gratitude. My wife and I have spent the last two decades preparing him for this launch into the future.

What I want most for him is to retain this flipping of the questions. To always ask more empowering ones:

“How can I help?”

“What can I offer the world? 

What was I born to do? 

What are my unique gifts?

Who needs my help now?

A Lifetime of Questions

Of course, questioning goes on for a lifetime.

We never completely know. We are always discovering.

The journey of life and success IS the journey of discovering the answers to this question. Life is self-discovery. And this question can change your life.

How can I help?

I hope this awakens something inside of you. New voices = new life. This goes beyond parenting, music, education, business, whatever. This is for you. And through you, you will light up the world.

I am grateful to be able to work with so many wonderful students, parents, teachers and families every single day in my role as music educator, publisher, coach and mentor. Music is in us all and is truly more than just entertainment. It is a metaphor for life.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do they light a lamp and place it under a basket, but place it on a lamp-stand, and it gives light to all who are in the house. Let your light so shine, so that they may see your good works…” – Matthew 5:14. the Bible