How To Make Your LinkedIn Connection Requests Irresistible

I love connecting with people. Meeting other professionals has been one of the favourite aspects of my entire career.

So if I love connecting, why are all these connection requests in my LinkedIn inbox giving me such a headache?

I should be delighted:

So many new people wanting to be part of my network. How exciting!

And indeed, there are those approaches that are delightful: the people who reach out and begin a conversation, by using the full 300 characters that LinkedIn allows us for that first, crucial message.

They tell me why they are getting in touch, they tell me how we met, or when we met. And if we haven't met yet - they tell me what they want.

I love those messages, and normally (not always - I'm not perfect either), I respond quickly. I accept and send a message back. So then we can take it from there.

But then, there are all those connection requests that sit there forever. You know the ones I mean. The ones that say: "I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn." The ones that make you wonder: "Who is this?" or "What do they want?" or "Are they spammers?" and the ones that always make you think: "What's in it for me?"

Sadly, that's the great majority of messages in my inbox. The ones that puzzle me. The ones that make me do all the work because it's me now who has to check out their profiles and find out who they are. (And I don't always have time for that, and then they get forgotten).

I often wonder why people send

canned invitations.

I guess, partly, because they don't realise that there is an alternative; partly because they click on the wrong buttons; and partly, because they don't think it's a big deal. Firing off the standard LinkedIn connection request is quick, convenient, effortless. And if one person doesn't respond, you just move onto the next one.

Heck, there are even LinkedIn gurus who recommend this approach. (Yep, I've been on those webinars). To which I'd say - if you treat LinkedIn users like a commodity, doesn't that just miss the whole point of LinkedIn as a professional relationship-building tool?

So, this is my take.

My golden rule.

Only ever send personalised connection requests.

Why?

Because personalised connection requests ...

a) make it easier for us to say YES to each other

b) make it easier to say NO if there is not a good fit

c) get a quicker response

d) save time and effort

e) make the process a lot more enjoyable!

And best of all, it stops the confusion about whether to connect with someone or not. Believe me, that's the number one concern people have about connecting on LinkedIn:

"I don't know what to do with all these strangers who end up in my inbox.

So I just ignore them."

But who wants to be ignored?

I don't want this to happen for you, so here are my tips on how to make your connection requests irresistible:

The most important thing to get right is this (because you can't undo it):

Select carefully from where you start your connection request. Admittedly, LinkedIn doesn't make it obvious where to connect from. They have put connection buttons everywhere! Sometimes you can personalise the message, sometimes you can't (!?!).

On the desktop version, always go to someone's profile and start the connection request from there, as the option to personalise the message will come up automatically when you click "connect". On the mobile app, also go to the person's actual profile and but don't click on "connect", but on "More", and then chose the "personalise invite" option. If you click on "connect", it sends the prewritten message from LinkedIn that is so unhelpful.

All other ways to connect in a personable manner are unreliable. Too often you end up clicking "connect" and LinkedIn automatically sends the horrid, self-centred, canned message that no one really wants to receive. (So beware of connecting with someone via the Alumni lists, for instance. Instead, go back to the person's actual profile).

Onto Your Actual Your Connection Request:

1. Be clear about who you really, really want to connect with. This sounds so basic, but you would not believe how many people don't seem to give this much thought. Ghosting is a serious phenomenon on LinkedIn: people reach out but when the other person opens their network, they run for the hills. Never to be seen again. What is the point of that?
2. Be clear about why you want to connect. What are you hoping for? What would be a great outcome, once you are connected?
3. Think about the other person before you write your message. What is of interest to them? (hint: look at their profile, their articles, their videos, their comments). What's in it for them if they connect with you? People will want a good reason to let you come into their network, so give it to them. (The days are gone when everyone just accepted anyone to reach a maximum number of connections).
4. Be transparent in your initial, short message: why are you reaching out? And why not say it? Giving the other person some idea of where you are coming from is critical. It helps both of you manage expectations. Here are some of my reasons. You'll have your own, I'm sure:

• Provide Context: Are you following up after a meeting, conference, webinar? What brings you to this person's profile? Maybe you are already connected on twitter or IG, and all you need to do is mention that you want to connect on LinkedIn, too.
• State What You Have in Common: what do you share with this person that gives you common ground, for instance, a shared interest or experience - you might have gone to the same university, had the same employer, profession, sector.
• Fulfil a Promise: maybe you met recently and you are sharing something you promised, such as an article, a link, a referral. Remind them of who you are, where you met, and what you're offering. Jot their memory.
• Appreciation: Maybe the person shares great information on LinkedIn that you love reading, or the person offered a free webinar that has helped you, or the person inspires you. Yes, this can turn into flattery, but if it's genuine, why not? People love hearing about the impact they make.
• Making a (Reasonable) Request: Be upfront whether you are reaching out to expand your networks, need a specific contact, or some advice. Not everyone will respond positively to this, but if you ask politely and it's within reason, many professionals will accept your invitation. And there are always those who want to give back to their community!
• Referring to a Joint Connection: Unless confidential, do mention the name of who referred you. Shared connections immediately create trust, and make a positive response much more likely.
• Mix and Match: any of the above scenarios may overlap. The most important thing is - make it easy for the other person to say YES!

These are six ideas of what to mention when you approach someone cold on LinkedIn. Of course, there are more ways to do this, within the 300 character limit. But hopefully, this will have given you some ideas to build on.

Does this sound like a lot of work?

Initially, yes. It certainly isn't as quick as firing off the canned LinkedIn invitation. But trust me, the results will speak for themselves. Once you start writing tailored messages with that one person in mind, you'll realise it actually doesn't take that much time. And the more you do it, the better and faster you'll get at it.

So hopefully, soon you'll see a difference and a much better ROI: people will respond more often and you can start building the professional relationship you wanted in the first place.

Here's to making your connection requests more irresistible.

How do you deal with connection requests?

I'd love to hear, so why not comment below?