HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AS A MOM? AND NO, IT IS NOT SELFISH
Kusum Basavaraju
Mindset & Manifestation Life Coach * Empowering individuals to take charge of their lives, manifest their desires, make an impact, and achieve financial success by overcoming limiting beliefs, overwhelm, and self-doubt.
AS MOMS, WE RARELY EVER MAKE TIME FOR OURSELVES OR TO WORK ON OUR OWN DEVELOPMENT!
HERE ARE TOP 5 TIPS ON MAKING TIME FOR YOURSELF AS A MOM!
AND NO, IT IS NOT SELFISH!
This How To Make Time For Yourself As A Mom post is written by Tatiana Rapier. Read more about her below.
Right now all I will say is, If this mom of 4 under 4 can do it, you and I have no excuses mamas, just saying!
Remember when you had all of the time in the world for yourself?
Me neither, but at least I had a little bit of time for myself before I had kids!
Between diaper changes, meal times, school schedules, work schedules, dishes, laundry, and everything else on our plates, we moms don’t usually get much time to ourselves.
Motherhood can be really overwhelming and all-consuming. It’s so easy to get lost in it.
A couple of years ago, I was attending a women’s conference at my church and the speaker asked us to think about our hobbies and interests.
I literally couldn’t think of a single thing that I liked to do! The best answer that I could come up with was playing an instrument that I hadn’t played in years.
It was a huge wake-up call for me!
No one wants a mindless robot for a mom!
We are better moms, wives, friends, sisters, coworkers, and whatever else we are when we take time to develop ourselves outside of motherhood and our daily responsibilities.
What are your hobbies and interests? What was the last book you read or the last passion project that you worked on? When was the last time that you learned a new skill?
TOP 5 TIPS ON HOW TO MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF AS A MOM
Now, more than ever, it can be really tricky to find time to work on your own development! So here are my top five tips for making time for yourself with everyone at home!
1. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF NAP TIME AND/OR QUIET TIME
If your kids are young enough to take a nap during the day, I highly recommend taking that time for yourself!
If your kids aren’t at a good age for taking naps, you can implement a “quiet time” for everyone. Set aside a time where everyone has to hang out in their own rooms or safely play by themselves for a specified amount of time and spend that time doing something that you enjoy!
It’s tempting to spend nap time or quiet time catching up on housework or vegging out in front of the television or mindlessly scrolling on your phone (all of which you are totally allowed to do sometimes), but you will feel SO much better if you dedicate even a small part of that time to developing yourself and doing things that you truly enjoy!
I promise that sometimes it’s better to be mentally and emotionally happy than to have an empty sink!
2. TAKE ADVANTAGE OF BEDTIME
If your kids go to bed before you do, this can also be an excellent time to dedicate some time for yourself!
If nap time/quiet time doesn’t work for you, try taking some time for yourself in between when your kids go to bed and when you go to bed!
If you don’t like to stay up late or if you are an early riser, another similar option would be to get up before your kids wake up and use that time for yourself.
Find whatever works best for you!
3. SET A TIMER
Time is a slippery little guy and it can get away from us so easily!
Setting a timer can be super helpful in making sure that you get some dedicated time for yourself, especially if you have other things that you want or need to get done!
Setting a timer allows you to focus on what you are doing instead of spending extra time worrying about what else you have to do!
Plus, knowing the amount of time that you want to set aside can be really helpful in deciding where in your schedule spending time on yourself would fit best.
4. SCHEDULE IT IN
Speaking of making schedules, physically putting time for yourself on your schedule is a great way to make sure that it actually happens.
Penciling in some you-time (digitally or physically) also helps to show yourself and others that you are making yourself a priority!
If you don’t set your own schedule, someone else will set it for you!
You have to make time for what is important for you, or everything else in life will fill up that space for you!
5. BE INTENTIONAL WITH YOUR TIME
This tip is especially important if you don’t have a lot of time to set aside for yourself.
Planning out what you are going to do, when you are going to do it, and how long you are going to be doing it for will help you maximize the time that you do have!
Don’t waste your “me” time thinking about what it is that you even want to do!
Don’t get me wrong, the goal is to take away the stress of not knowing what to do, not to box yourself in so that you can’t enjoy your time if things don’t go exactly to plan!
Make a plan, and then be flexible and enjoy your time!
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It can feel counterintuitive or selfish to make setting aside time for ourselves a priority, but it isn’t selfish!
If you go around doing everything for everyone else twenty-four seven, you are going to end up feeling resentful and burned out.
Nobody wants that!
It’s not about making yourself more important than everyone else; it’s about making yourself just as important as everybody else.
It’s not fair to yourself or others to take zero thought to your wants and needs and then expect them to be met elsewhere.
When you finally dedicate some time and care for yourself, you will be better equipped and have a greater capacity for caring for your kids and loved ones.
So come up with a plan and let your loved ones know what it is so that they can support you!
It might feel a little strange at first to dedicate time to yourself and your development outside of motherhood, but it will feel more and more natural the more that you do it. With kids constantly needing our time, attention, and apparently the food off our plates, time to ourselves can seem impossible; but even the most social people need time alone and things that they can have just to themselves.
NEED SOME IDEAS FOR WHAT YOU CAN DO DURING YOUR “ME” TIME?
HERE ARE 5 IDEAS OF THINGS THAT YOU CAN DO TO HAVE FUN AND DEVELOP YOURSELF AT THE SAME TIME!
1. TAKE AN ONLINE COURSE
Is there something that you would love to learn how to do or know more about?
There are so many opportunities for learning online, especially right now! Don’t let money hold you back! There are so many free or cheap options out there!
2. PICK UP AN OLD SKILL OR HOBBY
Did you use to play an instrument, play a sport, or really enjoy reading?
If you have the resources available to you, try out one of your old hobbies or skills and see if you still enjoy it! (It’s totally okay if you don’t, but now you know!) Who knows, maybe we will all start scrapbooking again or something.
3. TRY OUT SOMETHING NEW
Do a small, manageable project or activity just to see if you like it!
There are so many things that you can try with things that you probably already have at home like painting, drawing, baking, or photography!
4. DO SOMETHING ACTIVE
We all know that physical activity is good for us, but we don’t always enjoy it.
Going for a walk, doing a yoga video, or dancing can be really fun ways to relieve stress and get to know yourself a little better! The goal isn’t weight loss here, it’s just to take care of yourself and maybe learn a new skill!
5. PHONE A FRIEND
If you are struggling to come up with ideas of what to do or try, ask your friends and family!
Ask them what they like to do and maybe even try something together if that is an option! The more things that you try, the better idea you will have of what you enjoy and what aspects of yourself you would like to develop further!
Check out these posts for more ideas -> How To Do Self-Care The Right Way?
50+ Things To Do In Your Free Time (or during your me-time ;))
If you can’t find any alone time, you can always try to do activities that you can include your loved ones in!
Maybe you can bake some cookies with your kids, have a family dance party, or make some fun creations with Legos.
The goal is to learn, grow, and enjoy yourself, so get creative if you have to!
The more time that you spend developing yourself and getting to know yourself, the easier it will get. You might be surprised by what you learn about yourself!
This is a hard season of life, especially with all of the craziness going on in the world right now. But now, more than ever, we need happy, healthy people who are willing to grow and improve!
Your family needs you at your best.
The world needs you at your best.
You are worth it!
What are some hobbies that you have or would like to try? Let us know in the comments below!
ABOUT GUEST AUTHOR, TATIANA RAPIER
Tatiana Rapier is a young mother and owner of Love J and T, a blog and online platform designed to help moms not feel so lost in motherhood.
When she’s not taking care of her four kids four and under, she loves cruising, going to Disneyland, and trying new foods! You can find more ideas for fun and fulfillment with and without your kids on her blog and Instagram account!
Here has also created this amazing Getting To Know You PDF, be sure to check it out and find yourself all over again!
Thank you for sharing your practical and helpful tips with us, Tatiana! And more importantly, for this much-needed reminder – moms need to make time to care for themselves, and it is not selfish!
“My alone time is for everyone’s safety.”
xoxo,
Kusum