How to make a team become a family?

First of all, I think we all understand the differences between the two terms and the upsides of working, playing or performing with a family instead a team. The idea is to develop relationships in a way that you feel the joy, the excitement and the commitment of working with people that love the same goal as you and that provide an environment of trust and confidence that allow you to grow.

The thing is that it’s not easy to create this mood. Usually people tend to not care about the well-being of someone else, specially if its not close to them A regular family have stories, struggles and a habit of defending theirselves against the outside. So, if we want to create something similar, we need to understand the patterns so we can try to replicate.

1. You need to create a goal that is shared collectively. A family wants to achieve something as a group, not only as individuals. They want to live in peace, have enough savings to go out on a vacation or buy a house. Individually they all look for their own (go to college, start a business or whatever) but they need to have something bigger than themselves that unites them. Not only because mom or dad says so, but because they are committed to the goal, they are convinced about the benefits of it. You can’t expect, as a boss, a teacher, a coach or as a leader, that people will follow only because you say so. You have to convince them, by making the proposed (not imposed) goal more appealing to them. In case they don’t want to join the team goals is better to let them go.
2. A set of values that everyone needs to follow. I find that this is one of the hardest things to do because, usually, we don’t think too much in our values, the identity that we have (or want to have). We tend to know in general what we want but then, when we have to order them and prioritize, the struggle starts. Does responsibility come first than order? Is it the desire to win more valuable for us than honesty? Is creativity more important than following instructions? There’s not one way better than the other (they’re all values) but you need to have them written down, in a list, which one your “family” wants the most. This will help you, when recruiting new members, to have an extra rubric to evaluate them. Maybe they have all the right skills but not the values to fit in your team, so it should be a hard pass. 
3. A common enemy. You’ll have to be united by the idea of protecting the team for different agents, in the outside, trying to harm us. We’ll have to protect each other so we need to be close, to provide attention, help and the will to walk the extra mile in case it’s necessary. Doesn’t always have to be a person, it could be another team, the Government, a bad habit or a circumstance (like COVID) but the idea is that we motivate to fight against it and to win this war. It will allow the team to focus, develop more awareness and to have someone else (outside the team) to aim their anger.
4. Clear chain of command. In a family you know that parents are the ones that hold all the authority. But as the sons start growing up they have to be involved in family issues and discussions, because that will make them more involved and committed. In any team you need to share responsibility in order to get people on board with you. But, still, the chain of command should be absolutely clear. Who needs to be in charge of that project? What to do if things go wrong? Who could decide any change in the strategy? At the end, we need to nurture our team members so they can grow and be leaders of leaders, that they know what to do on the pitch or the field but, at the same time, know where to look in case they need help or trust the person above them to follow their instructions.

These are, in general, some tips to make any team grow and become a family, ready to face anything and to overcome all adversity.

Do you think there’s something else I need to add?