How to make STRESS your Friend.

Who is not stressed out? Whether it's our stressful job or a relationship, A family episode or just concerns of the future. We all our stressed out.

Now during my course of conversation with lots of people, I asked them why are you so stressed? And their response was either it was the Boss at the job or spouse in the marriage or girlfriend or boyfriend in a relationship or the kids and so on. Also upon asking if they have a solution for stress, they all said no.

That's when I started researching it. Out of curiosity, I wanted to know if we are correctly understanding our stress causes. Because without finding the correct cause, it would be very difficult to find the correct solution for it.

WHAT IS REAL STRESS?

Well, first of all, we need to understand, stress is not something that the world is doing to you. It's your brain who is responsible for creating stress. `you are putting stress on yourself.

Now initially you may disagree with this idea but it requires an advanced understanding. It's not the circumstances that are creating the feeling in your life, but it's your reaction to those circumstances.

Even the National Institute of Mental Health defines stress as simply " the Brain's response to any demand". So it means it is your responses that are causing you stress, not your boss or spouse or your future.

STRESS IS NOT ALWAYS BAD

Sometimes stress is good. Stress triggers the "fight or flight" mechanism inside our body which tells us when and how to respond to the danger. It helps us to increase our heart rates, more oxygen intake, heightened senses and adrenaline rush, which are all necessary for survival.

The problem arises when stress stays for the long term. Since stress also releases cortisol, which in the long term leads to the brain's ability to function properly, it kills brain cells and even reduces the size of the brain. 

SOLUTION

Now there are a lot of solutions over the internet for stress reduction but one that I found most interesting and that worked for me is called

"MINDFULNESS- BASED STRESS REDUCTION"

This strategy involves three simple steps:

1. becoming more self-aware.

This means to recognize the thoughts that are causing you stress. This means if a job is causing you stress, what specifically in the job is causing you stress. If the relationship is causing you stress, what specifically in a relationship is causing you stress? You need to be very specific about it. 

2. Acknowledge & own it.

You need to start acknowledging and understanding the stressful thoughts and emotions. Also, you need to commit to taking full responsibility for your feelings and emotions. Because in the end, you are responsible for creating all of the stress in your life. You get stressed out sometimes because you are unable to live up to your ego, which you yourself created. So instead of blaming it on the external environment, own it to yourself.

3.Question yourself.

How you are responsible for creating stress in your life.

While most of you might not appreciate this, but this is very important. It's not to put you in self-guilt or something, this question is to make you realize about your choices. Because in the end, it was always a result of your conscious choices…You chose to start that business, or you chose to go into that relationship.

This way you still have a choice to change it. There is nothing wrong in making changes. You can get out of the business if you are too much stressed out and not feeling happy. Similarly, you have a choice to get out of the relationship, that you feel is toxic for you. 

Apart from changing the mindset, there are other simple techniques to destress your self….

 MAKE HABITS :

 Now there are good and bad ways both to destress yourself. 

Bad ways are smoking, drugs, alcoholism, gambling and even compulsive shopping. I do a lot of impulsive shopping from amazon when I am stressed out. But all these things are bad because they don’t really help you in long term and these are not smart solutions financially and for your health as well. 

There are good ways too…. And I have personally implemented some of them in my life and it has helped me a lot.

WORKOUT: Indulging in any kind of sport or workout activities will really help you to destress yourself. Because during these activities your body releases chemicals that reduces the levels of cortisol in your body and helps you to destress.

READING: Reading meaningful content, like books,novels, blogs etc are really a great way to destress. This does not include reading news and gossips. Try to unplug yourself from gossips as much as possible. 

MUSIC & FAMILY TIME: Listening to music and spending time with your family also keeps you away from the stressful thoughts and makes you happy.

 CREATIVE HOBBY: And finally, Pick one creative hobby. It could be painting or play the guitar, writing something as its gonna be a great way to engage and build your skills and destress yourself too.

I hope this adds value to you and it helps you destress yourself. you can check out more by listening to this episode on Spotify.

You can also check out more content on lifestyle design on my website.