- Hands up everyone of you who has ever kept all their New Years resolutions?
- Yeah, I thought so.? What a bunch of degenerate wimps!??Failures!?Complete losers!?(?Note that it is not me saying this - it is your own subconscious.?Reminding you eternally that you blew it. )
- One of the things that Freud got right was that our subconscious creates our self-esteem. And self-esteem is the key to pretty much everything.?Every time we succeed at something, we get a little squirt of "Yahoo"?neurotransmitters. But every time we fail, we soak in a soup of "Oh crap!"??brain chemicals.
- So, the trick is to make succeeding a habit. And the best way to do that is LOW EXPECTATIONS. (Warren Buffett once said that the secret to successful investing was the same as the secret to a successful marriage - low expectations!)
- Having realistically low expectations makes less likely to fail, and more likely to succeed. And succeeding is good. Even if it was a fairly easy task - it is not like your subconscious mind can tell the difference! ?It just knows that it is swimming in "success" molecules, rather than in an?"I f*cked up" chemical soup.??( I don't normally use profanity, but I am pretty sure your subconscious mind talks to you that way.?Doesn't it??? )
- And like everything else done repetitively, success becomes a habit. So, start by doing something you have a reasonable?( by which I mean "overwhelming" ) chance of succeeding at. Don't aim for loosing 100 pounds or bench pressing 500 pounds. You are likely to fail, humiliate yourself, and you will make your brain hate you. Instead aim for "not putting sugar in my coffee", and "go for a walk every day". Something specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time limited.
- You brain will get "success" chemicals flowing around it.?And - just like exercise - over time you can very gradually increase your goals.?Just by making sure you succeed a lot more oftenthan you fail.??
- One would hope that success and failure have equal and opposite "gravitational effects".?But our brains are pre-wired to try and protect us from screwing up.???So success has the gravity of an apple.?Whereas?failure has the gravity of a black hole.?(Meaning that it sucks forever.) So focus on little steps that you can succeed at.
- ?So the secret to success is Low Expectations.
- Set small, easily achievable goals, and gradually build up
- Break large complex tasks into small, easier steps
- Work on taking out the recycling today, and fix global warming the day after next week
I once wanted to get a black belt in karate.?Mainly because it was a difficult, fun challenge. Fortunately the dojo?I attended broke the process down into 500 easier steps. Going from 0 to 500 is a daunting task. ?But getting from 387 to 388 is mostly just a matter of showing up.
And if you screw up, go easy on yourself.?You didn't fail completely.?Just 1/500th of a failure. And you can fix it tomorrow. So, rest up for a bit, and tackle step 388 another time. Your brain will love you for it.
And the best way to achieve your goals regularly is to make them S.M.A.R.T. - an acronym for S pecific, M easurable, A chievable, Realistic, and T imely.
This acronym provides a helpful framework for making decisions that lead to a actual positive behavioural change. S pecific: Set a specific goal with measurable objectives. M easurable: Set measurable objectives so that progress can be tracked and monitored. A chievable: Ensure that the goals are achievable and realistic. R ealistic: Set realistic goals based on your current resources and capabilities. T imely: Set achievable timelines with specific milestones and deadlines.
So instead of the vague "lose weight", you can substitute "lose 2 pounds before St. Patrick's Day".
And when you succeed, give a quick thanks to Freud! And reward yourself with some Guinness.
