How to make LinkedIn work for you (without losing your mind)
This year, ADHD Works has trained over 250 ADHD coaches. The one fear that I see time and time again is not anything to do with their (excellent) coaching skills, but to do with promoting themselves on social media.
The fear of being cancelled is real. Of being judged by peers for being 'cringe' or 'jumping on a trend'. Of being judged by competitors who really don't like people doing it differently. Of accidentally saying something 'wrong'. Of not having anybody like or engage with your posts. Or, of being too visible, and inevitably getting 'haters'.
Then there's daring to admit that you run a business and dare to charge money. The expectation that you should work for free, because you're helping people and doing something 'good'.* This is the elephant in the room behind the anxiety of posting on a 'professional network' that we 'need for work'.
*a note here to add how bizarre it is that our society has stigmatised doing 'good' and helping others = free or lowly paid work. ??
These metrics make me feel kind of embarrassed, because I believe the reason for them being so high is not because I am particularly 'popular' or special in any way. It's because I have:
However, this is not healthy. These platforms feel a bit like Tom Riddle's diary in Harry Potter - they become an extension of us.
It's not healthy to feel more validation from this platform than I do from people in my 'real' life. When I've done something like a free talk for schools, or written for the Telegraph, the reactions of my friends and family always fail to live up to the likes and comments of LinkedIn.
I realised that I don't 'announce' things like being in Forbes to my family, with a structured post asking if they resonate (they don't). Receiving so much validation online is lovely in one way, but it is also highly addictive, and cannot replace the feeling of someone you love telling you that they are proud of you (and meaning it).
Ironically, this lack of validation from those we're trying to get it from the most can lead us back to social media or work. I realised that this is what I do. I don't show up in my relationships in the way that I need to do to feel accepted, so I try to do this with my achievements, except I still don't feel accepted. So then I subconsciously do more and more, looping myself into this addictive cycle, but never quite reaching 'enough'.
This is because people in our 'real life' don't value us just because of what we achieve - if anything, it results in division, comparison, resentment and miscommunications. As someone told me recently, 'you cannot expect the people in your life to communicate with you via the medium of national news'. ??
Finishing 2024, I think I've finally found a level of 'balance' after lots of LinkedIn lessons this year. So, here's some tips on how to use LinkedIn without losing your mind:
1) Identify WHY you are posting on here
It is so, so easy to mistake followers, engagements, and comments for 'success'. When I am training coaches, I remind them that 'INFLUENCING' OR SOCIAL MEDIA IS NOT A PART OF COACHING. This also goes for any other job you have: social media presence is not a normal requirement of most people's jobs. The very best place to 'sell' yourself is to the people who already know and trust you - your existing, real life network.
Having an 'audience' online or using it to market yourself or your services means absolutely nothing if you cannot sell yourself. By sell, I don't mean funnels, pipelines, and leads, I mean simply to charge for your work. Following up on those endless 'coffee chats' and connections to actually send an invoice. To talk about money without becoming flustered and feeling guilty. To recognise your own worth, independently of the amount of followers you have on a social media platform. These are not the same thing, but it's very easy to fall down the trap, because talking about money is so uncomfortable.
Carine Jonchère Ponin is a highly qualified, mixed race, queer, and neurodivergent coach, who also did two counselling courses before the ADHD Works Coaching one.
Seeing the below testimonial made me so happy, because Carine needs to be OUT THERE HELPING THE PEOPLE THAT NEED IT, not doing more courses - very few of which talk about how to actually put this into practice:
"The biggest value to this course on top of the executive functioning framework is the the information on marketing and social media and not being afraid to talk about money. It's so refreshing and so needed. How can I succeed after having qualified if no one takes the time to explain how you can deal with the business side of things."
When I started ADHD Works , my business aim for using LinkedIn was to get 10 clients. When I did, I was still finding myself spending most of the day on LinkedIn. I justified it to myself through scarcity mindset: what would I do when these finished?
When I realised that I was on a never-ending treadmill, I set some boundaries, such as never posting because I feel I 'had' to and ensuring I prioritised administrative client tasks before coming on here. These are the 'marketing and social media' lessons I pass on in training coaches - not 'how to get followers', but how to not distract yourself by spending thousands on continually editing a website to avoid actually charging anybody for your work.
These days, I post on LinkedIn because I enjoy it, and because I am running a business and need to share the endless ideas it produces with the world. I much prefer LinkedIn to other platforms, as I can write on here instead of trying to contort myself into videos or images, which feels like masking. I am writing this because I enjoy it, and it was stuck in my head when I saw my 'stats' and felt a mix of feelings I didn't know how to process.
So be very, very honest with yourself: why are you on LinkedIn? Why are you reading this right now? Why are you posting? Why do you want 'engagement'? What metrics are you using to measure your 'success'? When is enough, enough? When do you get to have a break and log off? What keeps you logging in?
2) Set your own standards of 'success'
These platforms give us dopamine-ready metrics to measure ourselves (and our self worth) by: numbers. Numbers of followers, engagements, subscribers, impressions, likes, views - it is endless.
When we have so many different metrics, we can feel like we're never enough. There's always more. I recently caught myself subconsciously comparing myself to someone who had 100k who started posting at a similar time to me. I have 72 THOUSAND FOLLOWERS. THAT IS A BASEBALL STADIUM.
The irony is that I started posting on LinkedIn because I got bored after deleting other platforms to write a book about social media and mental health. I didn't even know you could have followers. I felt like I had Officially Ruined My Career Forever the first time I talked about ADHD on here. However, the freedom that gave me was worth it: there was no point in going backwards.
It took me months to call myself an ADHD Coach. The imposter syndrome was real, but there is quite literally no point that you ever 'become' that thing. Our brains are excellent at moving the goal posts. When you pass an assessment becomes when you get a client. Then it becomes when you have a paid client. Then it becomes when you have 10 clients. Then a waitlist. Then a corporate training (which isn't the same job!).
This is the challenge with self-employment: there are no pre-defined metrics of success. You have to set your own, especially on platforms like this. I get messages every day from people telling me how they enjoy my posts but are too afraid to like them in case their manager sees. You don't owe me these messages to tell me this (but thank you!).
If we take the example of selling ADHD Coach training places, as this is the 'easiest' metric because people can buy it from clicking this link and I am notified immediately, here are two 'secrets' I've learned for 'success':
a) Being cancelled / trolled etc
I am not kidding. Although parts of this year were truly awful in having loads of random people I don't know judge me and the work in empowering others that I dedicate myself to 24 hours a day negatively, ironically, they were probably the best sales strategy out there.
During one week that was so bad I came off LinkedIn all together, 5 people bought the course. The irony. If you're causing people to disagree with you, that's probably a sign that you're doing something 'right' and diverging from the status quo. It's up to other people whether they want to be exposed to that - they can just block you!
b) Posts that people don't engage with very much
Again, I am not kidding. Whenever I have a 'viral' post, I refresh the page to see how many sales we make: none. Usually it's the posts that are a bit random and niche, probably only relating to a few people out of the thousands, that people see and realise: 'that's me'.
This is very ironic, because it may sound like to be 'popular' on LinkedIn, you should aim to be 'unpopular' - but that's not it. To be 'successful' on LinkedIn, you should be nothing other than yourself - posting for YOU, not with any expectations.
Setting your own standard of 'success' is key. There is SO much that we cannot control on social media, like the algorithms and how others may engage with us, so we may as well just make our own rules up. For me, 'success' is being able to show up completely unmasked and unfiltered here, writing whatever I want to write and hoping that it helps some other people. That's it.
3) Embrace being 'cringe'
When I worked in law, I posted a couple of things on LinkedIn that caused INTENSE ANXIETY. I overthought every word, and felt like I was doing some kind of public speaking fail to a crowd of official professional 'adults', who could all see right through my mask.
What I've learned since posting on here with the motto of 'no dignity left to lose', is that everybody feels that way. All of us. I feel that way right now. It feels so 'cringe' because nobody asked us to do this.
We all know the feeling of wanting to share something with the world, in a bid for connection, and being rejected for it. Being made to feel like we are 'too much' or 'weird'. Of silencing ourselves and making ourselves small because of the imagined criticisms from others. Of hiding our goals until we have 'achieved' them. Of presenting a mask to the world of the person we'd like to be, instead of who we actually are: messy, imperfect, flawed - just figuring out what we're all supposed to be doing here.
Being brave enough to dare to do something that lights you up, instead of settling for judging others within the crowd, will cause discomfort. Being different is uncomfortable, and it can be very lonely. However, it's important to remember that these judgements are a reflection of those people - not you.
Choosing ADHD coaching training over qualifying as a solicitor felt like my ultimate 'cringe' choice. It revealed the truth of many relationships in my life, with people who liked and accepted me as long as I fit their idea of who I 'should' be. I chose the people who I knew needed help (and didn't have any options!) over making myself small for these relationships.
4) Be authentic
The secret to allowing yourself to be 'cringe' is to just show up as yourself instead of how other people think you should be. It's embracing what makes you different, instead of trying to fit in.
I cannot tell you how OBVIOUS IT IS when people use ChatGPT on social media (including comments) and job applications, which makes them all look exactly the same. Equally obvious are these 'engagement pods'. Please see points 1 and 2: WHAT IS THE POINT??? That sounds like an awful lot of work to go and like everybody's posts - and for what? To try and hack an 'algorithm' that's much more intelligent than all of us put together? To go viral and... then what?
I vividly remember the first time I was 'trolled' on here. I'd just got to the gym, and received a message from someone directing me to this very threatening post implying I'd be 'revealed' as a fraud for training companies like Disney and ADHD coaches. I immediately had a panic attack and freaked out about the End Of My Business - but then I realised that I had nothing to hide.
The very reason I do things in my own way is because I am terrible at conforming to standards. I have been doing an 'accredited' course recently which is arbitrarily and confusingly set out, with long stretches of time being lectured at that are clearly there to fill a quota of 'face to face hours'. I put all this kind of teaching in pre-recorded lessons people can watch forever on our trainings, because I know how much I struggle to sit and listen like that.
By showing up as nothing other than myself online and within ADHD Works - fully recognising and acting upon my mistakes and impulsive decisions (of which there are many) - I have nothing to hide. I cannot be 'revealed' as anything other than myself. If you don't like that, you don't need to engage with it.
The truth is, most people are far too busy worrying about themselves to care that much about you. If someone judges you, so what - are they likely to actually tell you that? If they do it in public, what does that say about them? There'll be someone else by tomorrow - we're a very fickle bunch.
Showing up authentically is simple: post whatever the hell you want - what brings you joy. What you're interested in. What you would want to read. This probably isn't a sales pitch about how great your services are - but by making it easy for people to find you and work with you (i.e I put a link at the end of everything just as an automatic 'footer'), then this happens automatically.
There IS NO RULEBOOK to being you - just your intuition. Just show up as you are, when you want to, and focus your energy on actually doing the 'thing' you want to do in more ways than virtually shouting into the vortex.
4) Avoid engaging in online arguments
One of the most educational experiences I had on LinkedIn this year was with a situation that made me extremely angry, because I felt it contradicted my values. I clarified this publicly due to feeling intense RSD about potential miscommunication, and watched as various people went and questioned the individuals involved.
To be honest, this was probably a mistake to post. These impulsive, emotional actions only lead to feeling part of the problem. It is very difficult to draw the line between shame, judgement, and standing up for ourselves.
Anyway, what was very interesting, and super helpful for me to see, was that the person involved simply deleted the comments in question. I realised that these people didn't go back and harass them again. They got extra annoyed, and then they moved on with their life.
This week, I tried it out myself to a mean comment I received. Instead of replying and trying to justify myself to someone determined to misunderstand me, I just deleted it and blocked them. THE FREEDOM. I assume they have moved on with their life and forgotten all about it. It wasn't personal: I don't know them, and they don't know me.
This is what I'd strongly recommend doing with bullying / trolling / people who make you feel bad about yourself / like you want to post something to call them out on it / start a 'discussion' online about it: just block them. Unfollow them. It's so, so easy.
Instead of entering the highly distracting, time consuming and impossible mission of changing the mind of strangers on the internet, just move on with your day. People are allowed to say whatever they want - but that doesn't mean you have to listen to it.
If they do not respect your boundaries, and you're being harassed (i.e people keep contacting you when you've told them not to) or defamed (ie people are saying things that aren't true about you), I strongly recommend calling the police. I did this this year, and was amazed at how seriously they took it. The internet is a wild west, but the law still exists.
5) Don't be afraid of making mistakes
This also goes for people who might police your tone or language or ability to show up here on this platform, such as the chap who messaged me to tell me that sharing images of myself 'demeaned' my content. (Blocked). No one has the keys to LinkedIn - or language for that matter.
This is different from making genuine mistakes and taking accountability for it. We are all human beings, and we all make mistakes. We are all constantly learning and growing, alongside our society.
Last week someone emailed me to tell me that they disagreed with my referencing my ADHD as a 'superpower' in my Make ADHD Work For You In 30 Days course. I made this over 2 years ago, when these conversations were not so nuanced or sensitive. I've seen the toxicity of these debates rise in recent years, especially within the neurodiversity space, which only divides people who all have the same underlying purpose.
I have long accepted that I will constantly make mistakes, because there is always more to learn, but I will always take responsibility for this. At the end of the day, there is no such thing as 'perfect', so all you can do is your best. If you're aware of your own intentions, values, and beliefs, it becomes easier to accept that others may disagree with this. Many people in the world have different religions whilst continuing to respect, live, and work alongside one another.
6) Remember that LinkedIn is not real
We all know that social media is ultimately a highlights reel. Most people are not going to share their innermost fears and vulnerabilities online (and neither would I recommend this, if you don't feel 100000% comfortable with dong so).
It provides us with the opportunity to objectify, characterise, and brand ourselves. Speaking as someone who's been objectified since childhood as a fashion model, no matter how much you edit the outside, it won't change the inside.
The truth is that most people are not 'smashing life'. Most people are struggling and feel insecure and are questioning whether they overshared just like you. This is why I felt it was very important to share that I almost took my own life earlier this year, because I know how 'successful' my achievements may appear externally.
Taking anti-anxiety medication helped me beyond what I could have ever imagined, showing me that this was not something I could have 'worked' my way out of: I needed real life support.
Everyone you see on here is comparing themselves to someone else. If you see someone promoting courses on how to make ￡100k months or hack LinkedIn, ask yourself why are they having to sell it, then? Why aren't they chilling on the beach, retired?
I think ADHD Works is unique in that we not only train coaches, but we also run 1:1 coaching within the company. I originally set up the training course for coaches after being unable to cope with the demand, and angry at how little support existed.
We still struggle to meet demand due to our small team (and single employee other than me, the exceptional Charlie Champion ) - but we do 'walk the walk'. I still coach 1:1 and would never give it up.
Remember that everything you see on here is curated, and LinkedIn wants your attention. The kind of content at the top of my feed is always the type that will ignite fear, paranoia, anxiety and anger in me - so I have to consciously ignore it.
7) Set boundaries
The only person that can control your experience of LinkedIn is you. Being honest with yourself and recognising the purpose of showing up here, in addition to how it makes you feel, and what challenges you might experience, is extremely important as a starting point.
For example, we use a template response for the many, many messages we receive on a daily basis (largely helped by the brilliant Sarah H. ). I know that a challenge for me is trying to help everybody and in inability to say no, so I can't just meet strangers for a 'quick chat' because I will end up building their business for them without even realising.
I know that when I write first thing in the morning on here, I get sucked in. It's much harder to log off and set boundaries for the rest of the day. So when I can write and schedule posts in advance, it is EXTREMELY helpful, because I'm not exposed to the immediate reactions.
Your boundaries might be different. They might look like only coming on here for a certain period of time each day. Unfollowing certain people (you have full permission to unfollow me!). Avoiding looking at people who make you compare yourself (I do this as best I can, or I would go down the RSD distraction vortex daily).
Not commenting on anyone's posts (yes, you are allowed to do that!). Not posting at all (likewise - you do not have to post on here!). Deleting the app off your phone (highly recommended). Having social media free days.
Ultimately, there is no end point on social media - or life. These platforms are designed to affect our behaviour, and that 1 negative comment out of 100 positive ones is far more likely to keep us hooked.
The uncertainty of 'performance' and 'engagement' keeps us checking, and trying. The ease at which we can compare ourselves to others is the reminder that we're not good enough as we are. It can affect us far more than we even realise - until we log off.
I really hope that this has helped to remind you that you are already good enough. We are all playing a game where the rules are quite literally rigged - and not in our favour. Social media is free to use because we are the product.
This being said, LinkedIn has been a real source of joy for me over the last few years (something I never thought I'd say!). The people and communities that have emerged from this platform have made me feel understood, and so much less alone.
Navigating an autism diagnosis in recent months has been so difficult, but having people out there who 'get it' has been a lifeline. So: if you're still reading, a massive thank you from me for being here. I hope this has helped you to feel less alone, and to show up as yourself without doubting your permission to do so: you have every right to be here.
Become an ADHD Coach in January here: https://lnkd.in/dwm2Gwjd
Become an AuDHD Coach in April here: https://adhdworks.thinkific.com/courses/audhd
Certified ADHD & Life Coach (CACP, ACC) | Founder/Owner of Bay Area ADHD Coach | Connections Expert
1 个月This is all so beautifully put. ADHD coaching for me is all about learning to lean into our strengths and what makes us unique rather than what society thinks we should be. The more I’ve trusted this path, the more the world has opened up in ways I could never imagine. Thank you Leanne Maskell for simply being you.
ADHD-friendly English coach | Speak Your Mind course ????
1 个月I love the growing feeling that we can unmask on LinkedIn too. I personally have been hesitant in the past. Permission is so key. I haven't made my way through all the comments but you can almost hear the sigh of relief! Kudos to anyone else out there beating this drum! ??
Social Worx for Inclusion and Seniors, Carers, People with Dis Abilities and Families on the Peninsula, VIC
2 个月Hope you have a Happy and Safe Christmas, Leanne ?? ?? ??
Web developer spending 2025 wearing a ballgown to shine a light on Autistic masking and raise money for The Toby Henderson Trust
2 个月Love this - worth screenshotting and putting up as a regular reminder! ??
Remote admin support for non-profits | Autistic | PDA | Bipolar type 2 | Mental Health & Neurodiversity Champion
2 个月Thanks for sharing your insights. I have found in the past thinking about what I am going to write, or trying to sell anything, never works for me. In recent years I have primarily used LinkedIn to pursue my own interest areas - mainly mental health and neurodiversity, with empowerment of women also featuring strongly. Now I like the freedom it gives me to publish my writing so others can comment and engage, and I enjoy learning and finding insights from my connections and wider network. Being myself and writing about issues I am interested in and have gained knowledge on is working well for me currently, I don't have any expectations beyond that.