How to Make the Jerk in Your Office More Tolerable

As with any addiction, the key is to break the cycle of pattern repetition. Not easy, whether it's alcohol, over-eating or chronic procrastination. However, there is hope and change is possible.

Interrupt the Pattern

Here we're talking about an annoyance, not about a fire-able offense. It's best you take the bull by the horns. It's about telling the truth, which is not easy in our politically correct culture. Most good leaders do not want to offend and we are more prone to talk behind someone's back or suffer in silence than go directly to the source.

Problem is, jerks at work are often not even aware of how annoying they can be. Did you ever wonder why they have so many blind spots when their irritating behavior is obvious to everyone else? Here's how you can help.

Kill With Kindness

Grab some coffee and donuts and stop in to compare notes on a meeting, any meeting. First-and this is vital-find something to acknowledge. Not easy? Come on. Find something, anything. Good haircut, nice smile, make it light and yes, superficial.

Then, in the middle of the conversation, ask a question. That's the key to opening the door. Like, "Where do you get your comedy material or how can I help you get your work done faster?"

Before you leave simply give a head's up that some team members are frustrated with too many jokes, or with how long it takes for a project to be completed.

Don't stay around for more discussion. Exit with the comment, "If you want to talk more just give me a call."

Jerk Rehab Options

If you do not hear back, give it one more shot. Suggest leadership development books or TED Talks.

The best form of rehab is actually coaching. There are lots of excellent coaches who can help get to the heart of the problems and negative patterns. In this fast-paced world, there is no need to spend six weeks in a no phone calls allowed facility in the woods, although it does sound relaxing.

The Recovery

Research indicates that it takes at least 6 weeks to 6 months for patterns to begin to lose their power. So coaching should be on-going. After that, it takes vigilance and feedback to keep pointed in the right direction.

This is also where you can help. And helping is a good thing. Helping makes you feel better. I did not say rescuing, I said helping. And it is mostly about asking questions.

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About Sylvia Lafair

Sylvia Lafair, Ph.D., is president of Creative Energy Options, a global consulting firm, and has been named in Top 30 Global Leadership Gurus 2016, 2017 & 2018.

Her Total Leadership Connections Program is in the top 10 from HR.com for the past 7 years. Her focus on people skills takes her to companies such as Novartis, McGraw Hill, and Microsoft, as well as family firms and entrepreneurial businesses.

An award-winning author, Lafair has written Don’t Bring It to Work, Gutsy: How Women Leaders Make Change, and Unique: How Story Sparks Diversity, Inclusion, and Engagement. She is a keynote speaker and executive coach.

Are you ready for the next level of leadership? Take the leadership quiz and find out: https://ceoptions.com/leadership-behavior-quiz/