How to Make Friends With Failure

How much worse can failure get than when it happens in front of an audience, right? If you’ve just flubbed up a presentation, a keynote, or even a talk to your team, if you’re like most people, you will probably: a) beat yourself up about it; b) then try to forget it happened, and c) avoid putting yourself out there again.

You’ve no doubt heard it before, but it’s worth repeating:? mistakes often present the best opportunities to learn and grow. The trick is changing the way you view and respond to “failure.”

Here are 5 of our favorite practices:

1? Take the spotlight off yourself

When you give a speech or make a presentation in a business environment, approach it with an “I’m here to be of service” mindset.? In other words, it’s not about you.? It’s about the audience, the information you’re sharing, the action you’re trying to inspire, or the goal the organization is trying to reach.??

If you adopt a generous, service mindset, you’re far more likely to see “failures” as opportunities to grow—rather than blows to your ego.

2? “Immunize yourself against big letdowns”

We love the advice in a recent Harvard Business Review article titled, “To Build New Habits, Get Comfortable Failing” . . .

“Don’t like public speaking? Your voice wobbles and you stumble over your words, feeling more self-conscious by the moment? Make your experiments small. Record yourself speaking one sentence and then watch the video, or simply ask one question aloud in a meeting where you don’t have to speak up. By exposing ourselves in small doses to the strength we’re trying to build, we are less likely to suffer serious consequences if we fail—and we might even triumph.”

3? Face the mistake and capture what you can learn

Rather than trying to forget the failure ever happened, have the courage and take the time to analyze what went wrong.? Then, document how you can improve in the future.? The simple act of writing down what you learned and what you can do to improve is a powerful practice.? For example, if your last presentation fell flat largely because of nerves, bring a cheat sheet of things you can do before your next talk to transform anxiety into positive energy.

4? Understand that failing is an inevitable part of striving to be better

In a Forbes article, “Failing Forward—and Why it’s Okay,” the author shares a favorite quote by basketball legend Michael Jordan . . .

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times, I've been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Enough said?

5? Create and use a skill-building support system

It’s a whole lot easier to risk failure when you know you have a “net” to catch you when you fall.? Because becoming a better communicator is a lifelong practice, consider tapping one or more trusted friends or colleagues whom you can use as sounding boards whenever you’re facing a communication challenge.? In PowerSpeaking, Inc.’s Confident Speaking for Women workshop, for example, we encourage businesswomen to form a personal “board of directors” who can provide advice and support.??

Just the act of believing that you can survive—and thrive—after a failure can make all the difference in your future success.? One of PowerSpeaking, Inc.’s board members, Dr. Bindu Garapaty, an executive with Impossible Foods, said it so well . . .

“I? went? through? an? experience? where? it? was? a? very public? failure,? and? the? main? thing? I? learned? from? that? is,? the? community? that? I? built? along? the? way,? that? were? there? to? support? me,? will? be? there? through? thick? and thin.”

So, failure?? Bring it on!